Can’t get over poor baby Preston

[Doximama2]

Not sure this is an AIBU, I never post on here but just feel I want to today. I am a 59 year old nana of 3 gourgous grandchildren including a one year old boy, the whole story in the need the last few weeks and especially this week about poor baby Preston that was tortured, abused and ultimately murdered by his 2 adoptive “fathers” has completely traumatized me. I am recovering from a big surgery 2 weeks ago so feeling emotional but this has really upset me so much that this was able to happen and that no one, not any social services, medics on visits to the hospital - one even with a broken elbow ffs - friends and family of these monsters realised what was happening and that Preston wasn’t a happy one year old. My grandson is always happy and smiling unless he is poorly so how did this go unnoticed? I had to turn the news off Monday when they showed this poor baby trying to sleep and this monster kept making him wake up.

im not naive, I have worked in public service including health and social services which I think is why I can’t comprehend how this was allowed to happen. It just feels like there is so many awful things in the world, and has made me so sad. 😭

No prison guard will step in the way should anyone come for this scum with a homemade weapon.

I hope he never has a peaceful day in his life. As others say there were huge red flags and nothing was joined up. Was it because this was a gay couple and no one wanted to show any bias. Or were the hospitals and SW so incompetent it was allowed to happen?

What a hot take to bring on a 28 page week old thread.

Here is a list of bruises with dates and descriptions.

Thanks though I don't think that tells us much without context, and a list of injuries own feels a bit voyeuristic if I'm honest.
It'll be good to see what comes out in the report.

I hope the report is thorough and includes the full details of the investigation. I was simply expressing my shock at the extent of the bruising Preston had sustained. How could anyone miss that 😭

What context would be required? It's a factual list, based on photographic evidence of when Preston had bruising to his face and what those bruises looked like.. all the photos do is prove that he had those injuries at those times, the fact that they can be easily identified in photographs of him, means they would have been evident for anyone that saw him in person, that's what it tells us.

This is horrible, what the hell are you doing listing and poring over these injuries?

Yep...evil c*t his pathetic acting was a joke and anyone with half a brain could see it for what it was...a performance, him wailing and screaming on his knees and then member of staff asks him if he wants a glass of water his demeanor changes again he calmly says yes please as if nothing had happened...fucking evil dickhead, I don't think I've ever hated anyone as much as I hate him. Rot in hell you evil piece of shit..

Have you watched the video?

Well, as I said to start with, context about how those were known about, eg who saw them when and how, but also linking in to Prestons life at the time. Eg in the serious case reviews it would give context as to whether any professional or family member had seen Preston around that time and if so, what they had observed (or not) about how he was - was he poorly, did he seem happy, was he active and running around, was he seen but he was asleep in his cot, what steps were taken or not. Which helps from an investigate point of view but also keeps the child front and centre, as a human being. Sorry but a list of injuries posted like that on an internet forum on its own just feels ghoulish to me.

All we know for certain is that his two adoptive parents knew and the hospital visits noted bruising every time he was presented there, the review will no doubt delve deeper into who also saw him and what happened during those visits.

The judge added an extra sentence of 3 years on to Varley of Grievous Bodily Harm as the elbow fracture was deemed to be consistent with a non-accidental application of force, his story changed around a lot about how that happened at the time, but videos showing him twisting his arms seems to be the evidence that proved it conclusively.

I personally don't think the review will tell us anything that isn't already known, it's the same every time unfortunately, most likely a case of ineffective communication between agencies, everyone knew a bit and accepted explanations but no one looked at the whole picture, and also with a heavy leaning towards how the personable and affluent nature of his adoptive parents led any professionals involved into a false sense of security and made them more likely to give them the benefit of the doubt.

I hope the 'lesson learned' will be that multiple injuries on a vulnerable, non verbal, child such as a baby should never be given the benefit of the doubt, and should be recorded factually on some sort of central file that all agencies involved in the adoption/care system have access to, even if it is not abuse, that many injuries (the three noted in the hospital visits) on a baby assigned to new foster parents (especially those who have never parented before), IMO should have flagged that they were doing an extremely poor job of keeping him safe.

If you think the review is pointless @SandyHappy I'd also question why you think there's value in sharing a list of injuries, for anything other than armchair voyeurism.

Thanks for this. Honestly, I can't emphasize enough that just showing support to those who make the decisions makes a big difference. It isn't just those who have the luxury of time/health to do hands on volunteering. Almost all the correspondence our local councillors deal with about children in care is people objecting to children's homes, or blaming ASB on children's homes, or questioning why tax payers money is being used to nanny 'bad' families. Just showing support for services, or writing to them objecting about cuts (same with the MPs) really helps.

I never said it was pointless, of course it isn't pointless, otherwise he died for nothing! I think no stone should be left unturned so procedures can be improved and step taken to make the adoption/care process safer for the vulnerable children who need the system to advocate for them.

But, IMO, it will no doubt be the same as always, missed opportunities, if only the agencies talked to each other blah blah.. lessons will be learned. Unfortunately it is the same every time a child is murdered by their caregivers.

People are fallible, IMO not one person should have the burden on deciding if a bruise is just a bruise, or a broken elbow was an accident, but that seems to be how the system works now.. one person make a decision and no one seems to question those decisions until something has gone terrible wrong.

If there is an adoption panel who must review an adoption application before making a decision, why does that end once it is 'granted', surely the most crucial time (sink or swim if you like) if after the child has been placed with the adoptive parents, especially untested parents, no one really knows how they are going to handle being a parent, or if they are monsters in disguise like in this case, until they have been given a child to care for, so why is it then just left to chance at that point, the most risky time for the child itself, and left to multiple individual people and agencies to repeatedly give the benefit of the doubt when things happen.. it seems such a flawed system.

I really hope the review has the potential to bring about change for the better, but I won't hold my breath.

But there is monitoring for a period of time after placement, with reviews. Preston was still in care! We were monitored until the Adoption Order was approved by the Family Court some 7 months post placement. Baby Preston had only been with that vile couple for 4 months when he died, so something very clearly went badly wrong.

The serious review needs to establish what went wrong with the safeguarding in this awful case. Quite clearly Varley knew how to work the system, but even so, there were obviously opportunities missed to save Preston’s life.

Your point about police not being blamed for reoffending is a great one. I am aware that even the most sophisticated psychological testing is no better at chance when predicting violence. People want to find a clear fault, preferably by an indentified person or persons because that is a psychologically safer place to be than accepting that sometimes really horrible acts of violence happen. Thanks for what you and your colleagues do.

@SandyHappy I don't think you understand the processes by the things you're criticising, it isn't a case of a social worker picks a family, takes them there and that's that. Once the court make the placement order they're not involved in the matching, but lots of people are - there's then a matching panel to consider if the child should be placed with that particular family. The decision then has to be agreed by the ADM, which is usually the director of children's services. There are multiple professionals involved in seeing children and checking their wellbeing when children are first placed with adoptive parents. There are more assessments done and a decision made by the parents as to whether they will proceed and apply for an adoption order. It then goes back to court for the original judge to make that decision based on the evidence presented.
It is a worry that so many people were involved and didn't understand what we happening to Preston in that time. What you're missing though, is the fact that children are harmed doesn't mean that there have been no changes or improvements. You just wouldn't get to hear about when things have gone well. And sadly there are likely to always be people who find a way to harm children, even in plain sight. It isn't possible to stop every eventuality.

Thanks for your kind words @Isitevensummer , I appreciate it. And I agree, the main conversation in the office is which will be worse, if individuals were at fault and could have prevented it, or if it couldn't have been predicted. Because we all want to think our assessments and judgment is good enough to ensure these things can't happen, and the idea that someone could pull the wool over our eyes to that extent is terrifying.

No, I’m not a fan of the trend of releasing interview footage really. I don’t think the ‘true crime’ genre has made us a safer or more compassionate society. I read court reports and sentencing remarks, but I don’t get the concept of armchair investigation at all.

Probation are vilified for perceived (and sometimes genuine) failures. Which I also disagree with. The Oasys risk assessment tool has reasonable predictive accuracy, but it’s not perfect and depends on whats known about a person. Not everything can be predicted, especially when resources are so stretched.