Inconsequential but HIGHLY irritating things your DH does

[itslikecakesbutitsnotcakes]

I’m not talking ‘fails to do any housework’ or ‘won’t parent his own kids’ but minor irritations that make you want to scream but you can’t because its so petty. For me

Refuses to use the automatic windscreen wiper. Instead he waits until he has no visibility and then manually flips the wiper on once. In heavy rain he’s doing it every couple of seconds. Just put the bloody auto wipers on!!

Unloads the dishwasher but leaves select things stacked up ‘near’ the cupboard or drawer they live in rather than putting them away. Apparently they are left there to ‘thoroughly dry’.

Rage!!!

Ooof. He'd be under the patio for that.

Mine gets out a new chopping board for every minor snack (e.g. a full sized chopping board for spreading peanut butter on one cracker for our DS. A new one for slicing two strawberries for his yoghurt) 🫠. The worktops feel like they get covered within an hour of cleaning the kitchen, so it always feels like a mess in there! DH is affronted if ever challenged, because he "needed" every one he got out 🤣🙈.

Mine sits down really ' heavy ' on the sofa and it kinda bounces me up. It really gets on my nerves. Why can he just sit down like a normal person.

He loses caps on everything. Say if we have a spray olive oil or are at the beach using sunscreen, he will ALWAYS lose the cap off the top of whatever product he’s using. Drives me mad for no reason 🙃

Pauses.

Pintereque pauses.

Every few

words.

It takes an eternitry to reach the end of a sentence.

Sometimes he doesn't bother getting to the end, but there's no way to know which sentences will wither before reaching a conclusion and which will make a point eventually.

Or a fluently delivered dozen paragraphs that could have been 6 words.

If he ever needs to tell me something urgent, like 'The house is on fire', we're doomed.

When he uses the cheese he doesn't fold over the edge of the packaging again or put a bag back over it so you end up with a totally dried out rock solid bit you have to cut off and waste when you next use it!
Did bring it up before but he said it's fine you can eat it!!
When he has cheese I literally can't stop stressing mentally about it just drying out so I have to go back to the fridge and cover it myself before bed!

Erm…… I think the rest of us know…..

He is the slowest kitchen walker in the history of the world. Normal speed everywhere else on the planet but put him in the kitchen and it’s like he’s entered a vortex and he is a snail that gets in the way of everywhere I need to be and everything I need to do

Same. So annoying.

I'd be cutting off the crappy dried out bit and putting it on his crackers and saying 'that bit's yours, don't worry, it's perfectly alright to eat' while you sit there with the nice stuff on your cracker. That'll learn him.

My brother is like this, extremely contrary. I can’t imagine being stuck with someone like that. Did you not pick up on that before you married?

Leaves drawers open 1/2”. Drives me ocd demented 😂

Takes his socks off as soon as he gets home and then leaves them on the bottom of the stairs or the corner of the room until he goes upstairs to the laundry basket.

Tissues in pockets. Always.

Falls asleep instantly and sleeps through then asks how come I’m tired/ dozing off on the couch at 8pm. He knows I have fibromyalgia and insomnia and have probably been awake since 4am after a broken night.

I’ve got one of these, a contrarian. Many days are ok but on others, I want to bury him under the patio. He’s right some of the time but that’s not the bloody poin!

anything from my top shelf of dishwasher isn’t dry so I also leave it for an hour or so near the cupboard before putting away. I cba drying them and don’t want to put them in wet.

That would more than likely be Rain-X. More needless expensive shite for a car. They invented wipers for a reason.

Always has to have the last word and can never be humble enough to be wrong about anything.

Mine doesn't squeeze tea bags as he takes them out of mugs so they drip over the counter and then sit in a soggy puddle on the tea bag saucer. I haven't brought it up as it seems quite petty but it does give me the rage.

Mine is brilliant and does 80% of the washing up but would always leave one thing: the stovetop coffee pot. Only he drinks coffee.

After years of washing up the little bastard I did solve it by telling him I was never going to wash it again in my life so if he wanted to use it ever again it was his job. He always washes it now 😂

He can’t hang washing out on the line for some reason, he just sort of throws it on so it doesn’t dry properly and gets crumpled.

Often leaves his dirty washing including towels on our bed.

For some reason cannot throw contact lens packets in the bathroom bin so there’s always a collection on the side of the bath.

Another one who is secretly prolific on MN, then...

Ah yes, the Swooper! Did I ask for help? No, I did not so please bugger off!

So many of these resonate with me.

Mine does this too. Half opened packets of olives or bacon. Drives me bonkers.

Oh yes, same here. It must be a man thing as my son has inherited the earthquake inducing sneeze gene.

Preface - he is wonderful and does so much around the house / with the kids. But yet when he does the following, I am offended to some deep core level that’s quite primal.

• soggy, greasy sponge, left to languish in bacteria ridden juices in the sink post washing up
• putting lids on cups/bottles after washing them and putting them in the cupboard without letting the parts air by not being attached so that when you open them again they are mouldy and musty inside (recently it was two opaque kids plates stacked together, when I took them out during the heat wave it was literally a pétri dish of thick, black, mould between the two. He finally understood what is going on when he does that but it still doesn’t stop him
• mixing fecking dark colours with white washing, his mum does the same and actually this is the worst offender; I don’t think they can see grey

Mine blows his nose every morning like an elephant, absolutely no need to that level of noise at 6am.