Inconsequential but HIGHLY irritating things your DH does

[itslikecakesbutitsnotcakes]

I’m not talking ‘fails to do any housework’ or ‘won’t parent his own kids’ but minor irritations that make you want to scream but you can’t because its so petty. For me

Refuses to use the automatic windscreen wiper. Instead he waits until he has no visibility and then manually flips the wiper on once. In heavy rain he’s doing it every couple of seconds. Just put the bloody auto wipers on!!

Unloads the dishwasher but leaves select things stacked up ‘near’ the cupboard or drawer they live in rather than putting them away. Apparently they are left there to ‘thoroughly dry’.

Rage!!!

I need this trait. Mine is also a very nice person but, as long as he's had a run (bit like a dog or small child in that respect) then he will sit completely still on the sofa for hours, happy in his state of procrastination.
Fancy a swap for a couple of weeks?!

Does the laundry and then drys it inside the house. I check the weather forecast and do it when it can be dried outside.
Loud, performative sneezing. I could stab him and put his body under the patio when he does it. If only the ground were soft enough…….

Makes the bed by putting the duvet on sideways. Why?!!!

He doesn’t rinse and shake dry his electric toothbrush so there is constantly a white chalky puddle on our bathroom bench.

Also puts his socks in the washing machine all scrunched up so they never get washed or dried properly.

My DH would say this is he, esp w the other calling. My spatial awareness is terrible!!

One of many annoyances, I have a 2 sided A4 sheet of them:-

Giving the cat food from his plate. For example chicken for dinner, the cat sits on the windowsill next to the table and during eating he will cut a bit off for the cat with his fingers. The cat gets all excited that "Daddy" is giving him a treat and he is given it on the windowsill. My cat is fat and on diet food. It annoys me that

1. I've paid for and cooked said chicken
2. The cat doesn't need it
3. He gets up to wash the sauce off the bit of chicken before giving it to the cat
4. He never cleans the fucking windowsill which has food smeared on it and cat lick.

my partner doesn't take telling very well so....

My ex also did this - is it a macho thing maybe or saving the car battery or what? Whatever it is I agree - enraging!

Say ‘Do you want me to…’ (pick up child, drive, unload dishwasher etc). Like it’s my job and he’s doing me a favour. Irritating.

He "takes the bin out". He tells me he's taken the bin out, he even stops me doing it and says "don't worry I'll do the bins" . But my version of taking the bin out involves actually getting the rubbish/recycling etc out of the house into the outside bins. His version is moving the wheelie bin a meter and a half across the drive, to the pavement.
So we have an empty bin waiting for the dustbin men!

Omg I'm glad It's not just my husband with the windscreen wipers. To start with it turned out he didn't know how to use the automatic wipers, but he still leaves it ages before using them.

Another, he collects his dried washing but leaves mine and the kids. I sometimes leave it so long to see if he puts the rest away.

soggy, greasy sponge, left to languish in bacteria ridden juices in the sink post washing up

Ugh yes, this!

In the kitchen - always leaning against whatever cupboard or drawer I need to go in. Usually lounging with his arms folded telling me stuff while I'm dashing about trying doing five things at once trying to get dinner ready.

Puts the kids water bottle straws in the dishwasher so they go orange and start to smell. One of a long, long list but I’d be here all day.

Stands in a doorway reading something on his phone completely zoned out. I could be screaming the house is on fire and he would ignore it.

Every time we are heading out the door he will suddenly find a side quest that has to be done that moment. So we will be waiting for him to suddenly water a plant or some other random little task.

Loads the dishwasher like a feral raccoon.

He’s also a sink ‘steeper’ and leaves things in gross water to soak that absolutely don’t need soaking.

I'm so glad I live alone 😂

The current man in my life will never put lids on things properly. He will get himself some sparkling water, and just put the lid on and turn it half a centimetre, so the next time I open the bottle the water is completely flat.

He did used to take his socks off and leave them in random places in my living room, but I started throwing them away when I found them, and he was perplexed by his sudden lack of socks and stopped doing it.

Leaves his crusts on his plate and the plate on the work surface above the dishwasher and wanders off
Leaves the teabag and dregs of tea in the mug, again on the surface above the dishwasher
Squeezes the toothpaste tube from the middle
Follows me into the kitchen and stands in front of every cupboard door I need
Leaves a task unfinished so everything is left out all over the dining table/kitchen surfaces when we need to use them for their primary purpose......

......Oh no wait, those are all things I do that drive HIM crazy

Puts banana skins in the living room waste paper basket, so they sit there stinking and going slimy.

In a similar vein, whenever I get into the car after my wife had been driving the air con is always on max blower and either set to 16°C in the hot weather or 30°C in the cold. There's an auto setting that maintains a comfortable temperature for a reason 🤬

Mine always says 'Did you get what you wanted?' When I come back from supermarket with a huge shop. No, all I wanted was a salmon fillet and a bottle of SB. All the other stuff is to feed him. On a really bad day it's the way he breathes, eats, talks and exists!!

Snap. Thinking about it, and not all men and not all women obviously but I do wonder if men have a higher risk tolerance? I’m generally more anxious than him.

in the same vein mine drives with one hand on the wheel , well not one hand kind of a couple of fingers which makes me panic, especially when we go round a corner or a twisty road. Two hands I beg you.

My husband does eight, apparently you have a set number of sneezes typically. Mine is two.

I have a “one item left” DH. Dishwasher stacked - random item left on the counter unwashed. Dishwasher emptied - one random item left in the dishwasher. Laundry taken upstairs, a random T-shirt or sock left on the sofa. Eating dinner, one last bite of a meal left “because he is full” - it’s a tiny bite, just eat the darn thing. I can understand leaving a few chips, or something you don’t want but it’s literally less than a forkful. I’ve read it’s an ADHD trait, which he does have (diagnosed as a child) but who knows.
The absolute killer though is when I’m running around getting stuff ready to go out, then he turns up at the last minute, puts on the kids shoes and gets them in the car and then goes “what are you doing, we’re all waiting??” When I’m finally getting my few things together/going to the loo because I’m not wrangling children

I have been feeling pissed off, substatially, with my h (don't feel like dh today) and this has been very cathartic for me.
So thank you all so much.
I have the opposite issue with dishwashers. He will, instead of loading it, take stuff out, like large bowls or pans 'as they take up too much space' and hand wash them.
The trouble is that there are only 2 of us, so it takes forever to fill.

And this Auto-contradict. Whatever I say or suggest, he'll immediately start a sentence with 'No' then explain to me why I am wrong. Nine times out of ten he's simply not listened to what I actually said. It is absolutely fucking infuriating.

Especially in front of other people.
Especially when it's something i know about and he doesn't.

In every other way he is delightful.

Crumbs on the counter, crumbs in the butter, crumbs in the marmalade, crumbs on the floor. I’m surprised he has any actual toast left after so much of it is used on making motherfucking CRUMBS.

Yes! Also when drying up! I’ve learned to watch like a hawk towards the end and say something like “don’t forget the frying pan” as he goes to move away.

For years he also put things away pretty much at random. But now the kids are older and have started to joke about it “I can’t find the scissors!” “I expect Dad put them somewhere weird, have you tried in with the saucepans?” it’s stopped dead after nearly 20 years.

Omg, same. Won't pick up the smaller pans to put bigger ones underneath so they can all stack neatly in size order, just lashes them on the top like an upside down pyramid. Why?