Inconsequential but HIGHLY irritating things your DH does

[itslikecakesbutitsnotcakes]

I’m not talking ‘fails to do any housework’ or ‘won’t parent his own kids’ but minor irritations that make you want to scream but you can’t because its so petty. For me

Refuses to use the automatic windscreen wiper. Instead he waits until he has no visibility and then manually flips the wiper on once. In heavy rain he’s doing it every couple of seconds. Just put the bloody auto wipers on!!

Unloads the dishwasher but leaves select things stacked up ‘near’ the cupboard or drawer they live in rather than putting them away. Apparently they are left there to ‘thoroughly dry’.

Rage!!!

@CarrieAnnQ

My husband is brilliant but his over the top and incredibly dramatic sneezing fits make me want to kill him

Oh yes, the huge HUGE dramatic theatrical bloody bastard SNEEZES!

Goes for 3 shits in the day using COPIOUS toilet rolls. I put 3 out this morning and there’s about half of a roll left now.

Moves the loo roll holder to the side of the toilet where you have to twist to reach it. Moves it from the spot in front to the slightly side, just there, right where it is in front of you , easy to reach, right in front, no twisting, no catching it on your thigh as you try to do down.

Then, then he removes the loo roll and turns it the WRONG way round as in under not over. So you need to to roll it and roll it to try to find the end of it whereas if it’s over… it’s there, right there right in front of your eyes, easy to see, fin and grab.

When we go shopping, instead of putting the shopping away as it’s taken out of the bag, no, he empties the entire bag into the work top then walks away leaving it all

Has insta on loud speaker. So I leave the room. Every time, I stand up and leave the room because I do not want to hear it. He has never noticed.

He shuts and locks every bastard door that he walks through. Need to get the washing in or put it out, back door closed and locked. Need to water the plants, door closed and locked.

Leaves lights on in in every room, leaves kitchen cabinet doors open, makes a sandwich using every meat he can find, ham, Turkey, salami. Leaves the crap all over the work top afterwards.

Dishwasher empty and wide open ready to receive the dirty dishes, knives, forks he has just used but no, they go into the sink ABOVE the fucking dishwasher.

Uses a face cloth in the shower then screws it up and placed it on the taps thereby creating black mould around the tap where it can’t dry out. Throw it into the wash basket dick face.

Insists on closing every single blind in the house every night. Even those at windows that no fucker can see into. Wouldnt dream of opening them the next morning oh except the bathroom one which he winds right up to the top. Looks shit.

Doesn’t indicate when driving until he has stopped at the junction.
Hits EVERY SINGLE FUCKING pothole making no attempt to avoid them, none. Just drives towards and over every single one.

Together for over 30 years, he gets right on my fucking nerves.

Comes in the room when I'm watching something (once in a blue moon!) and always right at the denouemont and talks loudly about something spurious. Drives me effing mad!

The rage I feel when he does this!
For the past 2 years I have broken nights as I'm BF my LO and he yawns so f'ng loud at 8-9am when I feel my day is already half gone...and he has 8-9hrs of blissful sleep.
I do mutter under my breath lol.

Then the slurping of coffee...whyyyyyyy

Drives round the car park for ages looking for some "perfect ' space while driving past loads of other spaces that look absolutely fine

Breathes (yeah. I know that's probably a basic human right but when he is asleep he doesn't snore he just breathes in a really extravagant way)

mine too, it’s crazy!

Oh and uses the sink as a halfway station for dirty yogurt pots and tins of cat food...why? Who is going to clean it? As I'm done with it. Either wash it straightaway and recycle or just bin the lot.

Can't brush teeth without covering the sink, worktop, mirror and floor in toothpaste dribble

He might have acid reflux causing the coughing. Buy him a pack of Nexium and see if it improves.

Needs a towel from a neatly folded pile of equally sized towels. Grabs a towel from somewhere in the middle, scattering towels above and below on to the floor. Picks up the dropped towels, scrunches them up and stuffs them back in the cupboard.

A paper towel? Why? Don't you have teatowels like a normal person?

Oh fk me where do i start....love the bones off him but

Theatrical sneezes - the volume is so unnecessary & offensive. He must inhale all the air in the room and then let it out again in one long, thunderous AAACHHHHHOOOOOOOOOO

Will sit and dramatically or woefully say "oh noooo........omg......oh noooo" whilst looking at his phone ...stfu I am not asking you whats wrong either tell me or be quiet.

Taking thee absolute piss when he needs a 💩. Women have gave birth quicker than that man has had a crap.

Will talk at me about wrestling (i have never watched it in my life and he knows this) and get annoyed i don't have a clue what he's talking about.

Stands in my way in the kitchen. If i'm making food, a coffee, feeding the dogs & cat ect he will find a reason to be in there with me and always always seems to be stood where I need to be. Piss off! Wait until I've finished.

God i love him though x

Auto-contradict. Whatever I say or suggest, he'll immediately start a sentence with 'No' then explain to me why I am wrong. Nine times out of ten he's simply not listened to what I actually said. It is absolutely fucking infuriating.

My DP does all these things.

I don't live with him. He wants to, I don't. Until all this stuff improves it's not even a conversation.

He sat on my sofa yesterday, sneezed, went to get a tissue and they weren't there. He says "where are the tissues". I just at looked at him. "The" tissues? "THE" fucking tissues? In my house, not his? Not "oh, honey, do you have any tissues?".

I said "they've run out, you can use some loo roll".

But - the punchline, of course, is that he knew they had run out - he used the last one (and left the empty box there for me to throw away).

I'm not being turned into a servant in my own home!

Mine is brilliant at clearing up the kitchen each night so I hate to pick fault but....has a really annoying habit of, if an oven dish or saucepan needs to soak overnight, not fully scraping it out first. Just plunges it into the sink full of water so in the morning it's turned to some disgusting greasy, soupy, cold slurry. Then he says 'well there's a strainer in the plughole anyway so it doesn't matter.'

But it does matter. The strainer won't stop everything. It won't stop all the grease. He's already blocked the sink up once by not scraping the plates properly and I don't want to deal with the revolting gunge that accumulates in the plug strainer either, thank you.

Breathes.........😅

I feel your rage. When all those caring hormones disappear with the menopause, it becomes even more difficult to contain.

Omg @itslikecakesbutitsnotcakes- I was going to say the same 2 things when I read your title before I read the post!!!
Put the fucking wipers on!!!!

You are menopausal aren't you? 😂

At weekend breakfast/brunch gets up from the table after finishing his food regardless of whether or not I have finished, leaving his dirty plate on the table for me to clear up. It’s always me who cooks.

He would not do this at an evening meal but for some reason he considers daytime meals to have no requirement for manners. I missed that memo.

Loud sneezer too, glad I am not the only one driven mad by this.

Accuses me of pandering to the cat. And then panders to the cat. At least hide the dreamies, you hypocrite!

Has the same argument about inconsequential things that have already been settled (with me being right oc) a year before.
There are so many things....

I love this. And i love the idea of you taking it in turns to entertain the cat by dressing up as a panda 🤣

Does ridiculous things to ‘save on the washing up’ examples include, not using a chopping board/plate (makes sandwiches etc on the worktop) I caught him recently eating buttered cream crackers which he’d got stacked along his arm, rather than ‘dirty a plate’ WTF?!
Oh, and we have a dishwasher!
He also does the wiper thing.

Pasta noodles?
"Pasta" noodles?
Pasta noodles?

You deserve all the minor inconveniences you get!

Buttering toast on the worktop does give me the rage, use a bloody plate, man.