To not want to exercise

[beewaspfly]

help me out here. Wrong side of 40, in the thick of perimenopause. All of my friends, and I mean all, have started exercising like crazy in the past few years- even the ones I’d least expect. My GP keeps telling me I HAVE to start strength training or I’ll have an unbearable later life.

but…I don’t want to. It’s just so tedious. I hate the gym, hate PT even more, hate classes (have tried several), hate home work outs, even the short ones. I don’t get any endorphin rush from it or whatever. The prospect of doing it ruins my day - it’s better if I do it first thing but even then I hate every minute.

id rather just be walking somewhere nice, meeting friends, working, napping, catching up on tv and eating amazing food with my family, reading and enjoying my life without the sense of impending dread.

im size 10, love to walk for HOURS every day, slim but not really toned (ok, a bit flabby in some areas), feel pretty healthy on the whole. Can’t I just keep doing what I’m doing? Please??

my mum is in her 70s and fine doing what I do, although she has had some falls lately. Dad says he wish he’d worked out as he’s such a weedy skinny old man now (his words). But they’re fine. My grandmother is in her 90s and going strong.

why do I have to do this? Why is everyone else doing this? Someone tell me one good reason and I’ll stop moaning

You could wear a heavy rucksack out walking and/or wrist/ankle weights.
Resistance training without doing anything different.

Ffs! None of my parents or grandparents did any exercise, other than a bit of walking, for most of their lives and were all perfectly capable of getting on and off the toilet right up until the day they died.

I hate exercising too OP and don't do anything other than walking a lot. No GP has ever told me I should be doing anything else, and none of my friends in their late 60s - 70s do anything other than the exercise you get from general tasks and walking either. Not one of them is "frail". I'm not saying that doing exercise isn't good for you, but the exaggeration of how those who don't will all have a shit old age is off the scale. We all age, no matter how much exercise we do, and none of us will be running around like teens in our 80s whatever we do, or don't do.

MIL is my inspiration…. She did no exercise at all and spent the last 10-15 years of her life with extremely limited mobility. I don’t want that. I like walking and cycling. I’m not keen on the gym either but have gone to a couple of classes a week over the past year. It’s made a difference… I went up a serious mountain recently and while my knees hurt at the time, I had no ill effects the next day. All those kettlebell squats are working! I can put plates on the higher kitchen shelves (I couldn’t a year ago).

OP - totally your choice, but I think the advice is worth listening to.

Ah OP I’ve been there. I used to hate it but honestly have learnt to love it. My body has changed loads since I’ve gotten older and weights keep me on track. I don’t do loads but enough to make my body feel a bit better and stronger.

could you start with some baked bean tins (very light weights) and a 10 min YouTube video in front of the TV to make it more bearable.

then build up?

but also you don’t have to. Loads of people don’t do anything and loads will swim/walk and do other activities. You’re walking and are generally healthy so will likely me ok. Weight training just gives you that extra protection.

do you think when you’re older you’d regret it? When you’re more frail and unable to go to the lovely restaurants and see your friends because you’ve fallen on your hip?? Or would you say - nah I enjoyed my life and don’t care…..🤷‍♀️

(I’m not being mean - just throwing some questions out to see what you’re brain tells you!)

I think you know you should do it and are fighting with yourself!! Otherwise you wouldn’t have posted.

Walking is great, I do a lot of it, but ideally we all need to be raising our heart rates a bit for cardio health and walking just doesn’t do that for me unless it’s hiking up a steep incline at pace.

This is really interesting about what a difference some strength training can make when you age.

But no one can make you do it so if you don’t want to then just don’t. Obviously it will have consequences in life but so does everything so you make your peace with it and carry on.

It's your decision OP, the GP can only suggest.
Personally I think that a lot of health in later life is down to genetics not following a particular regime. . Being active is important but it sounds as if you already are.

You are being encouraged to lift weights because there’s links between menopause accelerating the loss of bone density, and lifting can help improve / slow down that loss. Therefore you’re less likely to be susceptible to bone breakage in later life. I’m not a scientist or a doctor, but it’s the key reason I’ve been lifting, and will continue to my whole life. I’m sure someone more educated on the science will correct me on the specifics. It’s important to do things you enjoy, as you’re most likely to maintain the habbit. But this is (probably) the reason you’re being encouraged.

Walking is great exercise! I walk too as I have bad knees and a back that hurts after other kinds of exercise. I have bought a kettle bell and hula hoop that I use while watching tv. I think you’re already doing great.

Ooh hockey was my favourite in school, I played 3 times a week. I had a "mean tackle" apparently 😳😅 I've got to gt back into exercise now aged 45 so I have started running properly again. It's definitely not fun but I can feel the benefit after only a week.

Being fit and healthy is something I always took for granted until I had a head injury and post concussion syndrome a decade ago. I was then injured permanently by an off label antipsychotic that gave me a movement disorder 😕 So I guess you could say I really appreciate all my rude health i used to have now, and it's kind of a bit late 😳😬

Take care of yourself and your health, OP. You never know what might happen 😪🤔

I do weights three times a week. This year so far has been difficult and stressful. I had a break from the gym. Did it make things any better? No. Now I've gone back I'm in a much better place mentally. If you don't want to do any strength work then don't. It's not about being slim, it's about being strong and healthy and there's a big difference. Weight bearing exercise is really important for women as it helps build bone density. Hormone changes affect bone density. I've also started doing Pilates and that is amazing for mind:muscle connection and stretching everything out.

Growing up I hated sport and our family's main pass time was watching TV, although both parents did attend gyms at different times. Being active is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

So your GP has given you specific advice but you don't like it, so you're asking randos on mumsnet instead. If you don't want to do what the medical professional says, that's fine, but you won't get 'better' advice on here from non-medics who don't even know you or your body/medical history. Incidentally, I have low bone density and am constantly told to do weight training too - I also hate it. But it's suck it up or get osteoporosis.

So should health advice be based on what happened to your grandparents, or on what happens across large populations? Individual anecdotes are interesting, but they're not evidence.

My grandad smoked his entire life and died at 85 - is smoking therefore absolutely fine?

It’s your choice. Strength training, running jumping, skipping etc. will all build bone strength which will help you stay mobile and prevent fractures in later life. It’s no fun being frail for decades of your elderly years (it’s not about when you die, it’s about how you live before you die).

Your reaction to the prospect of exercise is extreme! Would therapy help?

If the GP hasn’t clearly explained why they’re recommending something, is it ‘specific advice’? Informed decisions depend on being given the ‘why’ not just the ‘what’.

You sound exactly like me. On one hand I think 'previous generations' never bothered, but then I look at my nearly 90 year old nan and think 'maybe I should.' I am lucky in that my family seem to live to a good old age, all my Grandparents are still independently living at home. But I have now noticed them struggling with just walking and movement. If I am going to live to 90+ I would like to be more physically able. So maybe I will start lifting some weights!

I agree about genetics. I think it's a roll of the dice and a lot of it is preventable, but some health problems might always happen no matter what you do I guess.

I'm 75 have never exercised and am absolutely fine . I veiw it as a fad and a bore . I had 4 children and walked everywhere because we only had one car so maybe that helped . You could get some weights and one of those cycle things so you could sit on the sofa and do a bit 😜

Hmmm.. it's a tough one. I also hate exercise and have always walked, but right up there in "things I would tell my younger self" is do pilates/tai chi/yoga and don't stop.
It's not about muscle. It's about flexibility and balance. Find a gentle alternative, embrace it and do it regularly (even 10 minutes a day).
Do it for future you.

I read an article recently about fast walking. You warm up for 6 mins, walk fast for 60, then cool down for 6. Apparently it's as good as any other cardio exercises.

Do you like gardening at all? That's a really good strength workout too

In communities around the world where people regularly live to be over 100, the population does not participate in significant exercise. They walk and they socialise into old age - that’s it.

It sounds like generic advice, unless OP has missed something out, and has osteoporosis or something.

You don't have to OP, it's completely up to you, you're a grown woman!

I’m with you. I’ve never gotten any sort of runners high or pleasure from exercising. I can just about manage one Pilates class a week now which I know is not enough but find it hard to force myself to do more. I think I need exercise that doesn’t feel like exercise, or has a social element to it. I might try the weighted vest thing, thanks to the posters who gave that suggestion. I’m in medical menopause due to cancer so know the risks of osteoporosis are higher (my dad has it and it’s awful).

I think the OP is exploring their psychology around exercise - and wants a place to express their feelings home while also acknowledging that they would like to change them.

That's not really true though. People in those longevity hotspots may not do "exercise" in the modern gym going sense, but many remain physically active throughout their lives.

Walking, gardening, farming, carrying things, climbing hills, manual tasks and staying on their feet for much of the day all place demands on muscles and bones. That's quite different from a modern lifestyle of sitting for most of the day and then doing a short walk or two.

Reaching 100 doesn't tell us whether someone had osteoporosis, lost muscle mass, needed a walking frame, struggled to get up from a chair, or spent their last decade with limited mobility. Longevity and physical capability are related, but they're not the same thing. There are people who are bed bound in nursing homes who have reached age 100 but their quality of life isnt good at all.