To not want to exercise

[beewaspfly]

help me out here. Wrong side of 40, in the thick of perimenopause. All of my friends, and I mean all, have started exercising like crazy in the past few years- even the ones I’d least expect. My GP keeps telling me I HAVE to start strength training or I’ll have an unbearable later life.

but…I don’t want to. It’s just so tedious. I hate the gym, hate PT even more, hate classes (have tried several), hate home work outs, even the short ones. I don’t get any endorphin rush from it or whatever. The prospect of doing it ruins my day - it’s better if I do it first thing but even then I hate every minute.

id rather just be walking somewhere nice, meeting friends, working, napping, catching up on tv and eating amazing food with my family, reading and enjoying my life without the sense of impending dread.

im size 10, love to walk for HOURS every day, slim but not really toned (ok, a bit flabby in some areas), feel pretty healthy on the whole. Can’t I just keep doing what I’m doing? Please??

my mum is in her 70s and fine doing what I do, although she has had some falls lately. Dad says he wish he’d worked out as he’s such a weedy skinny old man now (his words). But they’re fine. My grandmother is in her 90s and going strong.

why do I have to do this? Why is everyone else doing this? Someone tell me one good reason and I’ll stop moaning

You can do what you like.

Strength training has known benefits, but you make the choices for yourself.

However you can't expect other people not to a) discuss (in the case of friends) and b) advise (GP) because the science currently shows what the science currently shows.

I’m the same, I know I need to start lifting weights to help myself in later life but I really don’t want to. If someone said you can do ten minutes a couple of days a week and that will still help I might be able to force myself but everyone is saying forty minutes three or four times a week. That’s a huge investment of time into something I don’t want to do. Especially when I don’t spend that much time doing the things I do want to do.

Also neither of my parents lived to later life so I think I have a bit of a fuck it it doesn’t matter anyway attitude.

But you ARE exercising if you genuinely walk for hours regularly?

Definitely just keep doing what you are doing if you do plenty of walking and are active generally. The best kind of exercise is really one that fits in with your everyday life. Lifting, turning, getting up.and down mobility is important also so and active hobby like gardening would also be helpful too. As is staying the right weight for your height. Even as someone who has done weights for most of my life, I do think the case for them is somewhat overstated, like eating tons of protein is.

Walking four hours might be a bit of an exaggeration- I walk for AN hour and then lots of mini walks in the day which probably add up to another hour…possibly

Walking is a near perfect exercise so it's not like you need to start cross fit for the sake of it. But if you started lifting soon, when you felt good, you would be doing yourself a favour. You can do it at home.

If you don't want to do weights how about some impact for your bones - skipping or jumping? Easy and quick to do at home.

Check out sally gunnell's Instagram page she does really good simple routine suggestions and does an at-home online membership.

See I have always believed this and I am very active in my daily life, walk a lot, bit of yoga, physical job, carry heavy shopping, potter around all day when I’m at home rather than sitting down but everyone is telling me that that will be doing nothing for my bones and I need to be lifting heavy weights.

I can’t do skipping or jumping or any lifting- it’s like I’m actually allergic to it. It puts me in a terrible mood and makes me throw tantrums. I wish I was exaggerating. The prospect of actual exercise puts a huge cloud over my head. It’s the same dread - no more - when getting a bikini wax or a smear test or hygienist appointment (all three would gladly pick over exercise). Does anyone feel this level of hatred for exercise? Perhaps I need therapy to unpick it!

Probably borne out of PE at school <shudders>

I've always walked a lot but have started doing a bit with weights, at 63, in the last few months. Lovely YouTube videos with a Japanese woman called April and her mother Aiko, recommended by my friend's personal trainer in Sydney.

Yes! Yes and forced tennis lessons, forced cross country, last picked for everything, being shit at team sport and severely uncoordinated and never getting any positive or encouraging feedback. But what’s done is done.

My mum is in her sixties and can walk miles - literally walking holidays carrying her stuff, walking 10-13 miles per day but struggled with her balance, couple of bad bone breaks (already!) So she's started going to the gym to do weight training.
I guess my point is that walking I'd good for you but it's not the only thing you should d o.
You don't have to exercise but it'll benefit you if you do

Plus there’s this part of me that just feels like it’s a waste of time when I could be doing other things. Life is so busy anyway (she says mumsnetting over PB and toast). The gains appear many many months after the actual exercising part and then you have to keep it up or even make it harder to stop going backwards. Ugh I’m getting angry again now

Nothing ‘makes’ you ‘throw tantrums’: that seems silly.

Do or don’t do what you want, health information is easily available, and there are loads of options - at present you’ve chosen walking only.

No need to discuss exercise with friends or compare. if they’d offering you unsolicited advice, that’s rude.

my mum is in her 70s and fine doing what I do, although she has had some falls lately. Dad says he wish he’d worked out as he’s such a weedy skinny old man now (his words). But they’re fine.

That's the bit that stands out for me. The difference between fine and being dependent on help is a very very fine line: if one of your mum's falls results in a break then that could take a toll on both of them for a long time.

I've always been fit but it's seeing my Mum's world shrink since losing my Dad, then seeing the onset of dementia that has shrunk it even further and created physical frailty, that has motivated me to start strength and weight exercise. She fell when I was with her and I managed to slow the fall but I was shocked at her dead weight: there was zero ability to balance or right herself as she had no core strength so it's no wonder that poor fitness plus thinner bones results in serious, life-threatening breaks in older people.

I want to give myself the best chance to stay healthy for as long as possible. It can be hard to find motivation for the sake of prevention as you never know if you made a difference, but I am totally motivated by knowing that every workout I do is a step towards independence for as long as possible.

You say you walk
Do you walk up hills and steps or are you a flat incline walker?

How often are you seeing your GP, and what for - is it linked to poor mobility/lack of strength?

Who is telling me I have to? Practically every friend in their 40s and my doctor, basically.

The only thing worrying me is that my mum is a bit fragile and wobbly in her 70s, with one break to her shoulder a few years back after falling. And dad is really weedy! But they’re fine.