To not want to exercise

[beewaspfly]

help me out here. Wrong side of 40, in the thick of perimenopause. All of my friends, and I mean all, have started exercising like crazy in the past few years- even the ones I’d least expect. My GP keeps telling me I HAVE to start strength training or I’ll have an unbearable later life.

but…I don’t want to. It’s just so tedious. I hate the gym, hate PT even more, hate classes (have tried several), hate home work outs, even the short ones. I don’t get any endorphin rush from it or whatever. The prospect of doing it ruins my day - it’s better if I do it first thing but even then I hate every minute.

id rather just be walking somewhere nice, meeting friends, working, napping, catching up on tv and eating amazing food with my family, reading and enjoying my life without the sense of impending dread.

im size 10, love to walk for HOURS every day, slim but not really toned (ok, a bit flabby in some areas), feel pretty healthy on the whole. Can’t I just keep doing what I’m doing? Please??

my mum is in her 70s and fine doing what I do, although she has had some falls lately. Dad says he wish he’d worked out as he’s such a weedy skinny old man now (his words). But they’re fine. My grandmother is in her 90s and going strong.

why do I have to do this? Why is everyone else doing this? Someone tell me one good reason and I’ll stop moaning

Unfortunately, frail and wobbly is one fall away from a bad break, weeks in hospital, muscle loss and severe changes to independenc. This is the video/ channel that made me take weight lifting seriously:

It's rebuilding mum and dad from the honest channel. It shows how weight lifting has helped her 82 year old mum be able to walk longer distances and shower independently again.

Exercise now is like paying into your pension. You don't have to do it, many people would rather not. But it's an investment in a better retirement

https://youtube.com/shorts/EbS_tPV5qRw?si=3KPOE0jrYBU3SIoB

You could get a weighted vest to wear when walking as that will have some strength benefits.

Heavy walking is a kind of exercise if you mean hiking or you’re putting in 20k+ steps a day. If you’re just doing around 10k steps and thinking that’s enough, it isn’t. The issue is, it doesn’t get the heart rate up as high as something like running or lifting but also your body gets used to walking quickly so it doesn’t stimulate the bones enough.

I broke my shoulder at 30 and it was absolute agony, nearly a decade later it's still not right. At 70 that would be AWFUL.

Not sure if that helps with any motivation, but if you can do something to avoid it, I absolutely would.

What are your walks for? Are you carrying heavy shopping a mile or two most days? Or is it an aimless slow wall with dog / young kids?

I don't enjoy exercise or have any endorphins but it's preferable to a heart attack, stroke, immobility, harder cancer recovery etc.

I fucking HATE exercise. Most types to be honest.

But I hate being, weak, sick, and fat more.

And want my bones to be strong as I age.

Choose your hard.

Well then don't. It doesn't impact anyone but you but if you really want to enjoy it, start very slow and make a note of how you feel every day and how many reps, how much weight etc, so you can see change on paper. Especially the bit about how you feel.

I have been 90% bedbound for literally years due to a series of NHS cock ups but I am starting to pick up now (after finding a surgeon prepared to help me) and I am exercising from a standpoint of it being a privilege that I can now do so as so many people cannot and I used to not be able to. Add a bit of genuine gratitude into your mindset and it works miracles.

I was the kid that hated high school PE it was focused all wrong for shy kids. Outside of school i did do some organised exercise and was active on my bike and playing out etc.

You have to find something you love. Like climbing a hill… i dislike walking uphill but the views are always worth it.

You have free will, no good moaning about it if you don’t want to do it, or find something that suits you. don’t bother. You are aware of why the push now. It wasn’t pushed earlier because the science is there to show it’s worth it for a better later life. It doesn’t have to be hours and hours. It’s not about size/look it’s about your bones/muscle protection.

It’s your choice. But what would you say to your yourself at 75/80 you fall and break a hip. Prolonged hospital stay/surgery etc? Would it be worth all the moaning?

In the past women were out doing their shopping at the high Street Green grocers and the fish mongers so they naturally did strength training carrying the shopping home carrying up the shopping in each arm. Probably almost on a daily basis.

We hardly do that now due to how "easy" our lives are.

My Mum is in her 70s and over the last couple of years has broken her leg, her arm and her ankle.

Maybe her bones broke more easily because she doesn't do any weights, I don't know. But her recovery each time was really speedy, better than you would expect - she walks, swims and does Pilates. If you can face Pilates I think it is a game changer. (I don't do anything at all, I hate exercise!)

And I love cycling outdoors and going for a swim. I don't do weights. Also in my 40s.

Yeah, this. Why come on here to tantrum? It's up to you what you do, or don't do.

You said it yourself - your mum is fragile and wobbly in her 70s. My mum is in her 70s and a bit the same, and I absolutely don’t want to be like that in my 70s. When I retire I want to enjoy life after working my ass off all my adult life. There’s no guarantees, but strength and flexibility training improves your chances of being fit and active in your 70s. Also, my DS won’t hit 40 till I’m in my mid 70s. I don’t want him to have to worry about a frail mum.

i loathe exercise, i really do. And I find it difficult to summon the discipline to maintain it. But, that’s my motivation to keep going back to it. Also, I’m in my 50s now, when I don’t keep up strength exercise my knees and hip get a bit achy and that’s not a path I want to go down.

Hah this is exactly how I feel about housework! At least if I run 10km I can justify some treats later. I clean the house and it's like... cool... give my toddler 5 minutes and it'll look like a tip and be sticky again.

This, OP.

Do it for a different reward. Watch the calories come off and know you've done it to have whatever treat it is you've picked.

I love Joey Atlas, he does talk a lot and has an ADHD brain but his exercises get rid of cellulite and build you up. He has loads of free videos on YouTube and his stuff is LITT. Maybe you'd prefer that as it's all slow and controlled?

Nobody is going to make you like exercise with your history of being bullied around it. Dunno if counselling could help but I'm with you on hatred of gyms. They stink and are full of kids these days for some reason

I swim and walk. That's all I do.

I don’t know where you live but I’m amazed that everyone around you is doing lots of exercise.

Most adults in the UK are overweight and do little exercise. When I think of people in my circle (mostly late 30s/early 40s with young-ish children) I do know some people who are gym bunnies, run 10ks etc but they’re certainly not the majority.

If multiple friends are telling you what you ‘have to’ do that’s rude and tedious of them.

Doctor encouraging exercise is fair enough - providing information, which you can do what you want with.

I dislike the gym too. I'm going to have to start going for a health issues cos I've been referred, but once I've done the initial course I will take myself out of it and do whatever I can from it outside of the gym.

Thankfully there's plenty that can be done without visiting those places.

I'm one of the few in my circle that does nothing. People are getting more health conscious.

I'm starting. The only other in my circle who doesn't is determined she's dying in the next decade anyway, so just doesn't do anything she doesn't like.

Do you not like Yoga or Pilates? Both of these count as strength training. They also help balance and coordination, which are equally important as strength in old age, if not more so as you reduce risks of falls.

Aside form that, you're doing more than enough exercise to gain the health benefits associated with being physically active, so don't beat yourself up about it too much.

Funny you should mention those - my daughter has inflammatory arthritis in her knees so we've just started doing these.

They're great and we try and have a laugh doing them -like imagining all the arguments Mum and daughter have off camera. Mainly I try to distract her from the fact she needs to do exercise mainly aimed at older people.

The way they integrate moves aimed at improving balance etc while keeping everything light hearted is very good.