To not want to exercise

[beewaspfly]

help me out here. Wrong side of 40, in the thick of perimenopause. All of my friends, and I mean all, have started exercising like crazy in the past few years- even the ones I’d least expect. My GP keeps telling me I HAVE to start strength training or I’ll have an unbearable later life.

but…I don’t want to. It’s just so tedious. I hate the gym, hate PT even more, hate classes (have tried several), hate home work outs, even the short ones. I don’t get any endorphin rush from it or whatever. The prospect of doing it ruins my day - it’s better if I do it first thing but even then I hate every minute.

id rather just be walking somewhere nice, meeting friends, working, napping, catching up on tv and eating amazing food with my family, reading and enjoying my life without the sense of impending dread.

im size 10, love to walk for HOURS every day, slim but not really toned (ok, a bit flabby in some areas), feel pretty healthy on the whole. Can’t I just keep doing what I’m doing? Please??

my mum is in her 70s and fine doing what I do, although she has had some falls lately. Dad says he wish he’d worked out as he’s such a weedy skinny old man now (his words). But they’re fine. My grandmother is in her 90s and going strong.

why do I have to do this? Why is everyone else doing this? Someone tell me one good reason and I’ll stop moaning

Thing is you hate exercise, so any suggestion here that you just start doing home workouts or lift some weights in front of the TV are misplaced - you clearly aren't going to just start doing that. I used to hate that feeling of exertion in my body - because I wasnt used to it. So if my heart rate went up, I started to sweat and I felt a burn in my muscles , my mind went 'oh no, make this stop, this is bad'. But you need to let yourself feel that and push past it. The only way to do that is through a class so you have to keep going regardless. I guarantee if you stuck with a x2 a week 40 minute class for a month you'd prove to yourself that you could withstand more than you think. And you'd get the endorphin rush. It sounds like you haven't done enough exercise of the sufficient intensity to release endorphins- they dont come after 10 minutes of moderate exertion...but build once you've been going for 20 mins plus. For me consistency in a lead class is what got me from feeling a bit like you (i didnt hate exercise but i didnt like the feeling of exertion and didnt think I could so it) to where I am now - training x3 a week, lifting weights and at 51 doing a 50 minute intense HIIT class with ease. My endurance is much higher now than it was 20 years ago.

I am reacting to you being patronising. Just because you are totally comfortable with what people should be doing and consider it to be easy does not mean everyone else is.

I'll stick your rubber medal in the post.

Yes, you're using its Sunday name... ;-)

And I get that to people that are not into exercise like the poster I was replying to, it's daunting when people drop in VO2 Max. It does make things seem complicated.

Someone earlier in the thread worded it really well. You should exercise today to prepare you for the things you want to be able to do at 80. Walk up the stairs, get out of the chair easily, pick yourself up if you fall over, carry your shopping home from the bus... All of those things need good cardio health and muscle and bone strength.

Absolutely, and I completely agree about having one body that is healthy and looking after it all the best you can. I took my peak fitness and rude health for granted when I was younger, running half marathons, playing hockey three times a week, being cognitively sound.

Then a head injury and post concussion syndrome changed my life for the worse, and i was injured permanently by a horrible off label antipsychotic that gave me a movement disorder 😪

Looking after my body came easily to me, and I enjoyed it. Now, I have to work within my limitations - a bit like having ME up to a point, as too much overloads me and fatigue sets in a lot faster.

I think people truly take their healthy bodies for granted until they find out it's gone wrong, and it becomes bloody hard to fix. 💔

I don't want a medal. I got into this because I was shocked at how little I knew about my own body and what I was doing to it. Yes I then studied to understand it, so I can explain it in simple ways to help others improve their health. My goal for my clients is that they leave me - so they aren't reliant on my knowledge and qualifications, and can manage their health by themselves. I learnt how to do all this from Google for my own body, and then I got the quals so I could help other people. You can call me patronising all you like, you can stick your fingers in your ears and pretend it's too hard, I don't care a jot, I just hope one day you see sense and do a bit of reading and realise it's really not that difficult and is extremely worthwhile for your health. The only person being harmed by your petulance is yourself. Wish you well.

Do you like gentle swimming or tried reformer Pilates?

It was the nineties, but my mum had sp weights that you strapped onto your limbs then just carried on about your day. They were like little sandbags.

Not sure how effective they were but they must be better than nothing?!

I've never exercised and I'm mid 70s now. Fit enough to do what I want. No huge problems, no falls, no breaks.

It's up to you. But I want to be strong and not have falls and lose my independance as I age.

I go to the gym and I love it. But it is because I go to a really nice gym and my best friend goes too. It is really fun doing classes together, hanging round the pool together and relaxing in the spa and in the cafe.

What types of classes have you tried? I love zumba, reformer pilates and yoga. I also find strength training fun as I see myself be able to lift heavier weights. There are lots of options if you don't like free weights like weight machines or the egym that automatically sets the weight for you. After a work out the massage chairs, pool and spa are so relaxing. I also enjoy doing sound baths.

Some people like a basic gym but I would hate that as I like all the extras. So maybe you just haven't found the right gym?

To add I also like exercising with my children. We play badminton and pickle ball and swim together.

This was my Grandad, he's in his late 80s. Walked everywhere and cycled, but no strength training. Fell off his bike about 2 years ago, he's now practically bed bound and utterly miserable about it because he can't go anywhere without any help. It's one health problem after the next but the most worrying is the impact his loss of independence has had on his mental health. I truly hope your current good health continues for you, but this shouldn't serve as an example to younger people not to start exercising now, because if you do have a fall or a break your body is just not going to fight as hard to recover as you'd want it to

I loathe exercise- I’ve tried everything. I don’t even walk that much which is terrible. It’s just not how I want to spend my free time. I know I should exercise but I just don’t want to. So I don’t!

Of course you can make weightlifting incredibly complicated and spend hours debating whether an exercise hits the upper, middle, or lower fibers of some tiny muscle. But most people would get 90% of the results they want by doing a handful of basic lifts. How heavy? Heavy enough so your muscles are challenged, so it actually takes some effort, your last reps should not feel comfortable.
If you find gym too complicated and don't want a PT for any reason, have you tried to google beginner weightlifting program? the very first result that came up on google even has videos of the exercises it recommends: www.shape.com/fitness/workouts/4-week-weight-training-plan-women

Watching.

That’s called luck! And given that none of us can predict what sort of luck we’re going to have as we age, doing some regular exercise helps reduce the risk of problems.

Would you recommend others follow your example? Or do you believe the science that says that regular exercise helps to keep us healthy, strong and mobile as we age?

Bragging about not doing any exercise is a bit odd. To me it’s a bit like bragging that you never eat vegetables or brush your teeth. 😂

OP isn't answerable to them.

Obviously the suggestion is OP should ideally be an adult who cares about her own mobility and is answerable to herself 🙄 aside from that, sure, go ahead and drain scarce NHS resource in your old age because you’re too lazy/ignorant to exercise now, nobody owes anyone anything right!!!!! /s

I feel exactly the same. It's boring, tedious, and I don't want to do it. I have precious little time to myself as it is, I don't want to spend it doing something I hate.

@TheBlueDeer I work in the fitness industry too and I would say I hope you use a different tone with your clients/participants to the one you have used here at times (although I know some people want a ‘kick up the arse’ to get fit and respond very well to the Sergeant Major approach!)

Telling someone they aren’t lifting heavy enough is quite likely to make them feel silly or embarrassed, and therefore more likely to give up. You say that you can ‘explain it in simple ways’, yet you dropped in VO2 Max without explaining it. Yes, Google exists but there is a great deal of variation in how well people can process that sort of scientific information. People who are newer to fitness may need more explanation, and certainly more encouragement than you’ve given in some of your posts.

I agree with you that some people pretend not to understand or come up with lots of other excuses not to be active, but if people are determined not to, just leave them to it- it’s their body and their life. I’d rather direct my energies towards the people who want to be more active but aren’t sure where to start or maybe need some encouragement to try something new/push themselves.

Using technical detail without explanation, or scoffing at the efforts people are already making to get fitter, is guaranteed to put people off even trying. They are left feeling ‘there’s no place in that world for someone like me’. Not to blow my own horn, but when I get positive feedback from my class participants and clients, it almost always mentions how inclusive I am, and I’m really proud of that; more so than I’m proud of training my super-athletic customers who already understand a lot about exercise science.

@Waitingfordoggo I used the technical term so that if someone was interested they could Google it, I also explained it as getting out of breath a couple of times a week so tbh, this criticism isn’t valid at all. I also get very positive feedback from clients, I simply have far less sympathy for grown adults saying they want to have a tantrum because they don’t want to exercise 🤷🏻‍♀️ thanks for your unsolicited feedback (or excuse to toot your own horn) but my business is thriving with people who do want to get healthier and come to me knowing nothing about their health. The people on this board are not going to be clients, because they proudly don’t care. I applaud those who come to a professional admitting they know nothing and want to learn, that’s not the same as people who choose to live in ignorance and I won’t be treating them as such.

It’s just the way your posts came across to a poster who was already making efforts to get fitter- your tone was belittling in my view.

I agree that some simply can’t be bothered but nothing you or I can say will change that. It is surprising to me that people are willing to take a gamble on being lucky as they age, but it’s their lookout. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Anyway, glad to hear you take a different tone with your clients and get good feedback too.

I don’t agree that nothing people say will change the people who aren’t bothered. Of course saying ‘oh well it’s your choice’ isn’t going to change their mind, it’s just enabling their ignorance. It’s always worth a try. In my experience the people with the childish/petulant attitude to their health actually tend to be the ones who respond best when you cut through it with the cold hard facts. Is it going to work for everyone, no, probably not the kind of person posting here - but I’d rather tell them the consequences of their attitude straight up, maybe they think I’m a dick and never think about it again, maybe they ruminate on it a bit and come to me a few weeks later for help (have had several clients come through this way ‘I didn’t like hearing it but it’s true so here I am’) or they think about it and seek another PT. All gravy to me, people just knowing the consequences is a good thing, people acting on that even better.

Fitness professional here. The actual benefits of strength training within the rep range of 10-12 where progressive overload is achieved is about your bone density which depletes drastically when you are older, this starts at 35 and speeds up from 50. Weight training slows it down. This protects your joints as well helps improve your balance and prevent oesteoporosis which is much more common in women. While walking is great it will not help your bone density. The body gets used to the demands we put on it and if we never challenge it then no progression will happen and the aging process continues. I think you have over years just decided you don’t like it and that has become a bit of a trait. It is very rare to not have a release of endorphins when exercising and the fact you enjoy working would suggest this isn’t the case.
i suggest you try and suck up the hate and make a habit, which is incredibly hard, but that is the same for everyone to make lifestyle changes to live a longer better life. Have you tried aqua aerobics this something is a good alternative and if taught well have strength benefits. Don’t make your friends feel bad for training they are doing what is best for them and so should you.

I could have written this. It's all so boring! I don't know how people motivate themselves! Not doing any exercising (other than walking) at the moment but only classes ever work for me because once you're there you have to do what the instructor says and can't just ... leave, which is what I want to do.

As a not really enjoying exercise person myself. I found my most successful gym period was when I had a friend with whom I went to the gym. A) I was committed and couldn't not go. B) we used to chat. Basically we'd go, do 5 minutes warm up on the bikes and then longer weights. We used to swap in and out and just catch up on our week. So it felt like socialising with added exercise rather than exercise as a primary aim.