To not want to exercise

[beewaspfly]

help me out here. Wrong side of 40, in the thick of perimenopause. All of my friends, and I mean all, have started exercising like crazy in the past few years- even the ones I’d least expect. My GP keeps telling me I HAVE to start strength training or I’ll have an unbearable later life.

but…I don’t want to. It’s just so tedious. I hate the gym, hate PT even more, hate classes (have tried several), hate home work outs, even the short ones. I don’t get any endorphin rush from it or whatever. The prospect of doing it ruins my day - it’s better if I do it first thing but even then I hate every minute.

id rather just be walking somewhere nice, meeting friends, working, napping, catching up on tv and eating amazing food with my family, reading and enjoying my life without the sense of impending dread.

im size 10, love to walk for HOURS every day, slim but not really toned (ok, a bit flabby in some areas), feel pretty healthy on the whole. Can’t I just keep doing what I’m doing? Please??

my mum is in her 70s and fine doing what I do, although she has had some falls lately. Dad says he wish he’d worked out as he’s such a weedy skinny old man now (his words). But they’re fine. My grandmother is in her 90s and going strong.

why do I have to do this? Why is everyone else doing this? Someone tell me one good reason and I’ll stop moaning

Being in your 70s and having "some falls" is nothing to take lightly.

I do agree that 40 minutes 3 times a week of anything sounds like a LOT if you dislike that particular activity. But even 10 minutes 3 times a week is better than nothing. Or one weekly full body exercise and two 10 minute ones...
ANYTHING is better than nothing.

Is there truly no exercise you enjoy? Jogging? Pilates? Pole Fitness? Bouldering / Climbing? Sailing? Kayaking?

Gardening (digging, carrying bags of soil, pulling weeds etc.) would work as well. But you might be constrained by the size of your garden (or lack of a garden).

I guess it comes from an in built desire to want to try and help another person. Maybe its just me but isnt that what MN forum is for predominantly?

And if you read the OP, she is asking for advice and help to try and figure out why she feels the way she does. Maybe, just maybe, one of the suggestions offered by a multitude of PPs, including mine (god forbid) could be the one that does help her.

I guess you could scroll by if you find comments you don't like and that 'annoy' you 🤷

Sorry, I haven’t RTFT so this may have been suggested already, but I was very much like you at school - hated sport, was crap at it, never got picked etc. Loathed all forms of strenuous exercise and have a particular aversion to that sweaty feeling 🤢

Now, in my dotage, I have time to exercise and I’ve discovered Aqua aerobics. Sounds a bit mad but I love it, it’s a good workout and very sociable. It’s also been a massive help to my creaky joints and keeps my weight under control.

1 hour of walking a day really isn't that much. I walk more than that on my commute alone.

Life involves doing things you don't like.

They key to exercise and sport it to do what you enjoy

'I'm size 10, love to walk for HOURS every day, slim but not really toned'

Stick with what you are doing!

I have noticed with getting older (older than you) that my strength has declined. I was a runner but was stronger than most average runners esp legs. Now I have noticed its declined but like you hate the gym.

Get some weights to use at home and just spend 5 mins once or twice a wk dong a couple of simple exercise. Joe Wicks youtube is good for body wight exercises. I enjoyed that with my DS during lockdwown but can't be bothered now

I ran because like running but anything over 20m is a good hike ruined imo. Now I just go jogging 4/5km with the kids once or twice a wk and do daily walks 30 mins at lunch. Steady pace none of that power walking bs

Yes you should do strength training. It's so critical to be strong as you age. No one is going to tell you that isn't true. Walking is fine but it won't cut it. The evidence really does show that being strong as you age makes you less likely to fall, are more mobile. I do cardio every day (Peloton, treadmill plus walking) and strength not quite every day but close. I have a weight set at home and use online Peloton strength classes. I used to hate it but now love it as I can see the difference - abs, arms etc. But mainly I don't want to be super fragile as I get older.

Actually yes! I did a class of aqua aerobics and it was bizarrely fun. I think because it's so ridiculous, no one can take it seriously so you don't get the po-faced brigade. I'm also doing synchronised swimming, which has the same type of vibe...

You choose your hard. Hard now (exercise) or hard later (frailty, broken hip, reduced independence etc).
Noone is going to force you but you can already see where your mum is heading. You cant magic strength, you need to use your muscles or you lose them.

I used to hate strength training but joined Ladder as I know I need to do it, been using it for over a month and it is honestly amazing. There are different teams so you can join one that suits you - I am doing Define which is a pilates/strength training combo with some dumbbells at home. The workouts are all just over 30 mins and you can swap out exercises you don’t like or need to make adjustments for. There’s a 30 day free trial link - https://www.joinladder.com/referral?utm_source=ios_app&utm_medium=referral&utm_term=76dedb60-cb52-45c8-8d5f-2850c009a45f&utm_campaign=share&utm_content=referral_lp&promoCode=summerguestpass30

It sounds like you have PDA actually OP, are you possibly on the spectrum?

It sounds as though your nervous system likes gentle, rhythmic movement but not sudden bursts of activity, which you respond to as stressful. I'm the same!

I'd recommend one of these - it doesn't need an electricity supply. You can just set it up in front of the telly and go gently on it while watching your favourite shows. It's surprising how "going gently" soon adds up to progress as your strength and aerobic capacity builds. But you don't have to work up a sweat or do HIIT to get real benefits.

www.decathlon.co.uk/p/connected-cross-trainer-initial-elliptical-100/357484/c4m8903327

I was also like this until I actually started getting stronger and looked visibly better in muscle tone. I think you have to push through the point where you don’t like it in order to enjoy it and to see and feel the benefits of it.

I have made such strides in my fitness that the thought of stopping and being back to the point where it literally sucked the joy out of me because it was so hard that it keeps me going and consistent.

I also read a brief comment from a trainer a while ago who has moved from exercising for beauty standards (she was a bikini model) to exercising for competitive reasons (she now does hyrox) means you can enjoy exercise not for what your body looks like but rather for what it can do and this motivates her. It makes sense to me as I have been running now for a year or two and getting better and faster really does motivate me. I think the same applies to lifting weights for example, to be able to better than yourself months prior is enough to make me not want to stop.

What about addng some ankle/wrist weights for your walk? This will add another layer to your walk without actually 'weight training'.
I do understand your frustration as 2 years ago I absolutely hated working out - I still LOATHE spin but force myself to go once a week for a little cardio boost. I don't particularly enjoy any work outs either but I do like to see my strength and fitness improvement each month - that is what seems to encourage me to stick with it.
Also even 15 minutes with a kettlebell/dumbbells everyday would make a difference.

Blimey - synchronised swimming! That’s really hard - I take my hat off to you 😊

I recommend Sally Gunnell too. I am a decade older than you @beewaspfly and I HATE working out with a passion. I especially hate any exercise that takes place indoors. It actively makes me miserable! Walking / swimming / riding etc in the fresh air, however, is lovely to me. So what I do is, when I'm out walking, I stop for a couple of minutes a couple of times each walk and do some of Sally's squats/presses etc (she has loads of free routines on her instagram, and one routine would take about 5 minutes if you just did 1 rep so it's not onerous at all) using a park bench to do the pressups on or whatever. I am literally only doing it so that I can hopefully stay out of a care home for as long as possible, and so that I can get up off the floor if I fall over, but I'm doing it outside and within the parameters of a walk which I love, so I do it!

Over the loooooong wet winter that we've just come out of, I would walk on the walking pad next to the open patio door so I felt as though I was outside even if I actually wasn't.

Also consider HRT if you need it - apologies if you've already said this, I haven't read all 16 pages of the thread yet! Oestrogen has a known protective effect against heart disease and osteoporosis.

I am considering taking creatine although I am pretty much as violently opposed to all powdery supplements as I am to indoor exercise and "lifting," so it might take me a year or two to convince myself ...!

• edited to add that I do Sally Gunnell's body-weight exercises. (I don't use actual weights). These work much better for me psychologically!

Agree with all this, but a weighted vest not ankle/wrist weights. Adding weight to a moving part can cause the ligament to overextend beyond its normal range of movement, recipe for injury.

Oh god yes. I hate exercise. I am clumsy, weak and awkward. School PE was mental and physical torture.

I did find a few forms of exercise that I liked as a child and young adult. Swimming. I loved being in the water and it wasn't competitive. I wasn't any good at it - couldn't dive, still can't do breast stroke or proper crawl. I don't swim much at the moment because my local pool is overcrowded and after half an hour the chlorine has closed my eyes and they're sore for the rest of the day. I enjoyed C25K but stopped because I have a weird gait and have had some quite nasty falls.

I got motivated to exercise due to breaking my shoulder in my early sixties. I have never felt so vulnerable. Seeing my armpit flat and saggy where it had always been a rounded hollow. Had to do exercises just to get my strength back and get my arm working normally again. Lying on the floor trying to lift my arm - using a stick first and such an achievment when finally it went up by itself! And because of the break (from a standing fall) they did a Dexa scan a few months later and hurrah I have osteoporosis. So medication and yes strength and impact exercise.

It has taken me a very long time to start enjoying it. A couple of years?

One thing that helped me was going along to "old lady" classes at the local gym. We were all a bit rubbish together. Now we are still together but a bit better at it. Some of us are getting weaker due to advanced age but this gets extra admiration from the rest of us. We each have different exercises that we can do well and others we struggle with. We have had some very good trainers and I've managed to do things I didn't think I could.

Another thing that helped was realising that some of the gym machines are designed to make exercise easier not harder. I have never been able to pull myself up with my arms, not even to get out of the swimming pool. I always had to climb the steps. But now I can set the machine to take most of my weight and then I can lift myself up and down. And if I keep doing it I will get stronger...

It still pisses me off when I've been heaving the heaviest kettlebell I can manage up and down and then some young lad strolls in and walks off with one in each hand. Bastard.

@beewaspfly , you're in your 40s and have difficulty walking uphill despite walking over an hour a day. What you're doing isn't working for you if you want to be fit in later life.

It's only going to get harder the longer you put it off. Have all the tantrums you want, it won't change the facts. Your doc has told you what you need to be doing to be mobile in later life. Health is a privilege and a gift and frankly, you're squandering it.

@Notmorecrapola It's nothing like what you see at the Olympics. We mainly flounder about, and do ridiculous strokes like 'bunny hop breastroke' or 'saluting front crawl'.

I feel very similarly about exercise. I've tried running, the gym, exercise classes, swimming, home workouts. I dislike all of them, I hate being sweaty, needing extra showers, dirtying the clothes, I also hate the time it takes from my day.

The only problem is, I'm 36 and I actually feel quite old, I have aches and pains, I've got weight that's crept on but will not go back off, I've gone up several clothes sizes. I'm so unfit that I lifted my son out of the car a few months ago and ended up with a really bad back for months. Do you feel like that at all or do you feel strong and well and fit?

The only thing that works for me is just forcing myself to exercise a certain amount of times until I start feeling good and it becomes a habit. Then once I start feeling the benefit I enjoy the way exercise makes me feel even if I hate doing it. Most recently I was doing the 30 Day Shred home workout, 20 minutes several times a week in the evenings. I felt so much fitter even after just one week so I do feel like the results can be fast.

Have you had your thyroid checked? When mine was out I LOATHED exercising.

But you love to walk and you are a size 10… don’t beat yourself up? My grandma is 94 and hasn’t been to an exercise class a day in her life and was a couch potato from 50 onwards. She was spotted walking in the village recently to the shop… to buy magnum ice creams. She lives of ice cream, wotsits and the occasional slice of bacon

Do you have arthritis or other history in your family that suggest you need to do more than walking?

I do regret not doing more exercise earlier in life, which still doesn't make me want to do it any more now! But "the best time to plant to a tree is 20 years ago, the second best time is now" applies to exercise too.

You sound absolutely fine! I don’t really strength train, I walk and hike. As long as you’re moving you’re winning!

If you can find an exercise you actually enjoy, then that might be different- I hate most exercise (I hate getting hot and sweaty) but I tried aqua zumba about a year ago, and it's the only exercise I've ever stuck to- I don't look for excuses not to go, as I genuinely enjoy it! Give a few things a go and if you hate them then don't go again- things like bungee exercise classes, boogie bounce, adult trampolining classes, line dancing, walking football, walking tennis- there's all sorts you can do that won't feel like some sort of 'punishment' to do