To not want to exercise

[beewaspfly]

help me out here. Wrong side of 40, in the thick of perimenopause. All of my friends, and I mean all, have started exercising like crazy in the past few years- even the ones I’d least expect. My GP keeps telling me I HAVE to start strength training or I’ll have an unbearable later life.

but…I don’t want to. It’s just so tedious. I hate the gym, hate PT even more, hate classes (have tried several), hate home work outs, even the short ones. I don’t get any endorphin rush from it or whatever. The prospect of doing it ruins my day - it’s better if I do it first thing but even then I hate every minute.

id rather just be walking somewhere nice, meeting friends, working, napping, catching up on tv and eating amazing food with my family, reading and enjoying my life without the sense of impending dread.

im size 10, love to walk for HOURS every day, slim but not really toned (ok, a bit flabby in some areas), feel pretty healthy on the whole. Can’t I just keep doing what I’m doing? Please??

my mum is in her 70s and fine doing what I do, although she has had some falls lately. Dad says he wish he’d worked out as he’s such a weedy skinny old man now (his words). But they’re fine. My grandmother is in her 90s and going strong.

why do I have to do this? Why is everyone else doing this? Someone tell me one good reason and I’ll stop moaning

The best exercise is one you will do regularly. It sounds like you already have that with walking. Brilliant!

@clearlyy

not true

Thing is, if you break an ankle or a wrist, or leg when you're older it just causes so many problems. Slow healing, possible malunion, de-conditioning while you're recovering, loss of independence, possibly long term pain, pain developing in the other areas that have to compensate for your injury etc etc...And if you then need to do physiotherapy you're starting from absolute scratch if you have no base level strength.

Its boring and sometimes I really don't want to exercise but I do it for future-me.

In a general sense too, if you ever need things like chemotherapy in the future, one of the biggest predictors of how you manage chemo is your base level fitness going into it.

We all think we will live forever if we feel fine right now, but when inevitable health problems develop down the line you are ahead of the pack if you are fit and strong going into it.

Building up bone density is important. It may be that you're fine in that respect, however.

I paid £10 for an Inbody scan at my local gym (after working out for more than two years and being concerned about loss of muscle and bone density). I'm pleased to say that I'm now at the top end of 'normal' for my age with regard to muscle and bone density and my grip strength is good for a woman 20 yrs my junior - my muscles had previously wasted through inactivity after a significant bereavement.

I've just read about your mum's breakage. In that case, I'd say that working on your bone density would be a good idea. (In my case, my mum had spinal fractures and a broken rib.)

I hear what you’re saying- some of us need instant gratification! For weight training, my instant gratification is:

-The ‘pump’- do some upper body work (shoulders/biceps) and then look in the mirror- when the blood has rushed to the muscles they look goooood. It doesn’t last but it gives you an idea of how your muscles could look permanently if you stick with your regime.

-Improved mood

-A good night’s sleep

And then once you’ve got a few weeks’ training under your belt, you start to notice fat loss and increased strength.

Awww I know exactly how you feel. Look, at the end of the day you’re a grown up. Have you had a bone scan as part of your HRT prescribing process? Was it ok? Strength training is for bones and muscles. If you can (AND CONTINUE TO BE ABLE TO) get out of a chair without using your arms…if you don’t go “oooph” as an involuntary noise…if your arms are strong enough to carry shopping for a while…if your bones are ok…then take a view. If they’re not…then take a view!

I was a round child in the 70’s and a round teenager. Then a slowly rounder and rounder adult. When I left work I decided my hobby was going to be trying different types of exercise. I put it that way to defeat my inner rebel. I now do reformer and mat Pilates, strength training, a gym session with a PT and swimming. Every week. Because I like it. This doesn’t mean those bastard gym teachers won. It means I just like it, no more and no less than that. I assumed I wouldn’t. But I do.

If you want to…try stuff. If you don’t, and your objective fitness (such as the things I listed above) is ok…then don’t! Don’t worry, there’ll be another fad along soon. They’ll leave you to your own devices then. But don’t cut off your nose to spite all the gym bunny nags from your childhood and later. Try it. If none of it’s for you, so be it.

May I say well done for releasing this teenage howl of rage. We were badly served in our schooldays. Howl away.

Yes. I'm in my 60s. Exercise at this age is much more fun than it was when it was when I was at school. (All encouragement and no negativity.)

Our gym runs Senior Flex classes which mix cardio, upper (and sometimes lower body) work with weights, stretches, jumps where possible and some balance work. They're done to music.

"Sweet Caroline" is a favourite for arm exercises...Also "Kung Fu Fighting".

It's not everyone's cup of tea, but senior classes with well worked out programmes are life enhancing, in my view. I'm less prone to tripping these days and my arm and leg muscles are no longer weak.

I'm finding gardening easier - I can raise the hedge cutter above head height long enough for me to cut my perimeter hedge myself, and I have a much better grip for that and for other gardening equipment.

I also hated the feel and idea of exercise. What that helped me start was choosing something SUPER easy. In my case, I started a very easy stretch type class that must have designed for 80 year olds or something because it really was soooooo easy - barely worked up a sweat at all. Because it was easy, and a bit social (got to know the other women and had a coffee afterwards some days) I didn't mind going. After a while, I was able to do more without it hurting or being horrible, and I built up (a bit) from there. The social part is very important as it helps me to keep going.

@Ifyounevergiveup

That sounds very familiar. Every time I enjoy a class that's one in the eye for the cow gym teacher who took the piss out of me failed to encourage me.

I've discovered that - at the age of 66, with the correct orthotics and encouragement I can actually run without falling over. (Believe you me, joining a 'Run Club' was the last thing I ever thought I'd do. I was encouraged by one of the trainers who takes the Senior Flex class - he's about the same age as I am.)

I don't need to run faster than anyone else - I'm just running for me.

I've also been attending Pilates and that has really helped my balance.

Never go to the gym, I do walk, though not every day.
At home chair yoga, lifting light 5/7lb weights, seated and a bit of Tai Chi is about the only exercise I do now.

Now arthritis has set in I'm more about just keeping things flexible now I'm in my mid 60's.

I'll add that I had to see a consultant about a cancer scare. (All was well, fortunately.) He told me that the most important thing at my age was to build muscle and bone strength.

Not read the whole thread but just wanted to recommend Sally Gunnell’s 8 week programme, as well as her Insta account, she is brilliant at making weights simple and at explaining why it’s so important. I’d never done weights before (I’m 53 now) - I now do them 3x a week and I really like feeling strong and that I’m protecting myself, and improving the odds to stay capable and mobile in later life. Also love the christinehobson60 insta account.

A couple of suggestions for anyone thinking they ‘should’ exercise…

• Lucy Wyndham Read - for beginners
• Will Harlow - for gentle over-50s exercises aimed at maintaining strength and mobility
• Yoga with Kassandra - for yoga…
• Livinleggings - for yoga based stretches and mobility exercises
• the Bowflex 3-minute plank - to strengthen the core….. extremely important!
• Growingannanas - extremely professional HIIT workouts, with and without weights (her short Tabata sessions are very accessible)
• Heather Robertson - very well thought out Pilates based workouts, with and without weights)
• Caroline Girvan - if you want to give weight training with dumbbells a go

All free on YouTube.

I completely empathise, I can’t stand exercise, it’s so mind numbingly boring. I’m also early 40’s size 10 and walk a lot so I understand how you feel. I watched a Netflix show about people who live to 100 and none of them did any specific exercise but did have active lives that were more than just walking. They often gardened, walked up hills, took part in sport. My dad was a doctor and didn’t formally exercise but he always made sure he incorporated it into his life by not avoiding doing hard tasks, carry a basket not take a trolley when shopping and things like that.

Lastly, when I force myself to exercise I will play 2 songs I like and lift weights to them, that way I know it won’t last long and I at least enjoy the music.

I mean, you're an adult, you make your own decisions but sooner or later something tends to come along which tips the calculus. I'm 39 and I hate strength too, but genetics and being underweight have apparently screwed my bone density already so I force myself. A bit. My grandmother broke both hips and it was all downhill from there. My mother has broken both wrists so far but recovered well. Given I have bone loss now though its going to be pretty bad if I live to 80.

I will say this for it: strength training has improved my back pain. It still bores me to death and I get no satisfaction from doing it whatsoever. But its clearly doing something. I was also surprised how quickly I got slightly stronger. (Newbie gains, I think they say).

OP could you bear to do one 10 minute session a week? One session is better than nothing and it's literally 10 minutes of your life a week.

I go to a bootcamp because I don't have the attention span to exercise at home, but I do have a session for my upper body that I have learned and try to do twice a week at home and gradually buy heavier weights every so often as well as my bootcamp (I also run and walk so get the leg exercise that way!)

People will say it's not enough but something is always better than nothing.

I will also say that I used to suffer a lot with lower back pain from sitting on my bottom at a desk all day and I am 90% better now. I only get pain now when I am doing the "museum shuffle" walking very slowly around somewhere!

Edited: I see someone recommended Livinleggings above - now known as Yoga Rebel - I subscribed for six months and learned the upper body routine from her.

I can also recommend Fluidform which has lots of shorter routines and Hollyactive. You could also look up Caroline Idiens as well as Caroline Girvan and Sally Gunnell of hurdling fame.

I also have the Pilates for Runners app which has some strength sessions on it.

Unbearable later life? How strong do you have to be to lift a glass of Prosecco...

Look, you can be as flippant as you like but, having seen a close friend getting progressively weaker throughout her 70s and having more and more falls…… you may want to reconsider…

Oh for Gods sake, endless people don't like it and would prefer every single thing you've said. But just suck it up. Else you'll have brittle bones (definitely) and a shit quality of life when you're older and believe me that'll come round faster than you think. Also you'll be more anxious and less happy than if you exercise regularly, you'll weigh more and be less fit so more likely to get ill / diseases. Just do it.

Nobody will be giving you a prosecco to lift in the care home you're in because of your brittle bones. Lots of your exercisey friemds will still be doing it though as they'll be fit enough to continue enjoyimg themselves independently.

Do exercise you enjoy. Walking is fine. Dancing, swimming, skating ,yoga. Dont do bliming gym.

@WearyAuldWumman not so weary now, are you?! One in the eye for all those buggers who will now be stringy old things with stress fractures (in my head. Because I am vengeful and vile.). We need to be careful though, otherwise @beewaspfly will be thinking this is a reversey persuasion event! It really isn’t, @beewaspfly , but if you do end up joining our “I do it cos I like it” club, be sure to let us know 🤭

Have you tried climbing op? I used to ho bouldering and that was amazing for strength and not boring.

Although genes plays a factor, seeing the difference in retirements between my parents and my PIL keeps me very motivated. My parents: mid-80s, still travelling, have no help in their house and large garden, mum does fitness classes 3 times a week, dad plays golf, they read, get involved in the community etc. Their retirement has been a joy and an inspiration. PIL early 80s: retirement meant waiting to die, stopped travelling, didn't exercise beyond a sedate stroll around the village and housework, didn't get involved in any kind of community or volunteering. They're now in quite a bad way, retirement has not been much fun for them.

I've never liked exercise either, it's another chore to tick off, just like housework, just like going into work every day. However, I try to go with friends, makes it more fun, I also do yoga which is just lovely, and I see a PT fortinightly who takes no excuses.

A few things do help me - it's twee, but a fitness instructor once said how lucky they were to be able to exercise, that their body supported them. It was a real lightbulb moment for me. How privileged am I, that I can walk for miles, lift heavy things, swim, skip, ride a bike etc? The other thing I've heard more recently, and I've seen it mentioned above, is 'choose your hard'. SO true.