To not want to exercise

[beewaspfly]

help me out here. Wrong side of 40, in the thick of perimenopause. All of my friends, and I mean all, have started exercising like crazy in the past few years- even the ones I’d least expect. My GP keeps telling me I HAVE to start strength training or I’ll have an unbearable later life.

but…I don’t want to. It’s just so tedious. I hate the gym, hate PT even more, hate classes (have tried several), hate home work outs, even the short ones. I don’t get any endorphin rush from it or whatever. The prospect of doing it ruins my day - it’s better if I do it first thing but even then I hate every minute.

id rather just be walking somewhere nice, meeting friends, working, napping, catching up on tv and eating amazing food with my family, reading and enjoying my life without the sense of impending dread.

im size 10, love to walk for HOURS every day, slim but not really toned (ok, a bit flabby in some areas), feel pretty healthy on the whole. Can’t I just keep doing what I’m doing? Please??

my mum is in her 70s and fine doing what I do, although she has had some falls lately. Dad says he wish he’d worked out as he’s such a weedy skinny old man now (his words). But they’re fine. My grandmother is in her 90s and going strong.

why do I have to do this? Why is everyone else doing this? Someone tell me one good reason and I’ll stop moaning

Life isn’t about what you want to do all the time. There is duty to yourself and others responsibilities for yourself and others. Great if you hardly have to chose between what’s right and what you want but - it’s immature to only think about what you want

the older generations grew up with fewer helpful tools - nanna carried her shopping home multiple times a week and beat the rugs clean

so they did a lot of manual work without a gym

The Sitting-Rising Test is up off the floor:

https://thetrainingroompt.com/movement-challenge-1-sit-rising-test-and-how-to-improve/

You don’t need to enjoy it, you just need to do it
@xGoGox

if Op waits until she finds a form of exercise she likes she may never do it

It’s a low bar when I see what is being described as exercise. Carrying a bit of shopping is not exercise unless you are walking a few miles with it. Cleaning a toilet is not exercise.

The drink was just an example of one thing she threw a tantrum about being "made to give up".

She refused point blank to exercise or eat healthily or stop drinking alcohol. She had absolutely no problem with spending money on looking after herself in other ways: hair, nails, flash holidays, a new car every two years, ordering in McDonald's breakfasts on a weekend because she "deserved" not to cook or have to go out.

She was selfish and greedy in her whole life. If it wasn't what she wanted, she would throw a tantrum and then claim it was because she was an only child who had been spoilt her whole life.

But my point was more that, although OP isn't overweight, her doctor is advising her to do something for her health and she says that makes her throw a tantrum and that it'll ruin her whole day. The attitude is that she's being hard done by, not that she should look after herself. Same as my ex friends.

Oh well lay down and do nothing then. I may get hit by a bus, fuck the pension.

Are you NOT living your life like you will definitely be hit by a bus next week!? Planning for a future!? How dare you!

of course many things can and will still happen. But if doing X means your risk of Y will go down, then obviously Y is less likely to happen if you do X.

I've always heard do the activities you want to be able to do.
So if you want to walk up the stairs in your 80/90s
Then do a bit of stair climbing/step ups
If you want to occasionally dash for the bus
Do a little running

If you want to carry your own shopping
Do a little lifting
So some level of strength training is important.
Probably not a lot tho
Walking is fantastic 👏

My late DB (rest his soul), smoked, took drugs, ate badly, did no exercise, and took no good advice from family, letalone doctors or anyone who was in a professional capacity.

He had bowel cancer most probably as a direct result of his dreadful lifestyle choices. As much as I know it sounds awful, he had every chance to be someone who could change his ways, yey chose not to. He chose to ignore the good lifestyle advice of stop smoking, eat better, do exercise, don't take drugs. He had a calcificed bladder from ketamine use, and he looked angry when the consultant was off with him about his own choices.

Unfortunately he paid the ultimate price. Sadly, we are all in charge of our own destiny. I hope my DB is DJing some time now having fun. 😪❤️

I feel exactly the same as you OP. I loathe and despise it too - mainly because I find it so so so boring. And I'm already really busy so finding time to do something I hate, well it doesn't happen basically.

Exercise and keeping healthy is so important. We all have to do lots of things we don't want to or don't enjoy as adults (I'd rather spend my money now than put it in a pension for example), but we do them because we are thinking of our future selves.

Weight bearing exercise helps to keep you healthy and independent for longer, it helps to prevent diabetes and dementia as well. Working on your balance means you are less likely to fall as you age. Cardio exercise helps keep your heart and lungs healthy. A combination of the above will mean you have a longer healthy life span.

Osteoporosis is really serious and can impact your quality and length of life. People who don't exercise and people who don't eat enough are at a huge risk of it. One of my friends has spent years under eating, aiming for skinny, and despite doing a lot of running she has osteopenia in her 50s. It is good that she found out now rather than waiting until it become osteoporosis and she breaks a bone.

You might never get the exercise high, but as you increase your exercise you will tend to just feel a bit better, a bit less tired, a bit stronger. Take pride in looking after your body and it will look after you.

You really don't need to do that much. Apparently just 20 minutes three times a week is enough to build muscle, and gain/maintain strength. Even 10 minutes is a lot better than nothing.

Will Harlow on YouTube is a physio who specialises in the over 50's, but he's a brilliant source of info on fitness and rehab for all ages. He's very accessible, and has lots of short, doable strength training routines on his channel. There's one video that consists of just one compound exercise that works multiple muscle groups. The secret is working out smarter, not harder.

Doing just squats and press ups is highly beneficial as they work most major muscle groups, and you can do press ups in various levels of intensity - wall press ups are the starting point for the very unfit.

I TOTALLY hear you. Exercise makes me irrationally angry too. I never enjoy it at the time, nor is there an endorphin rush afterwards. Getting hot and sweaty is actively unpleasant, as is the burning in the chest and wheezing for hours after doing anything strenuous in the cold.

I am convinced there are two types of people. Type A, live 'in their bodies' and actively enjoy movement and sport. And Type B, who see their bodies as a way of carrying their heads around. The two will never understand each other.

Type A will say 'just find an exercise you enjoy'. Type Bs think 'You don't understand. Exercise itself is what I don't enjoy.'

Exercise feels vain and pointless. At some stage I may live longer or be stronger, but in the short term I never get any better and it never gets any less hideous.

However, I do undertake desultory gym sessions, as watched my mum - who had the same attitude - become pretty immobile by her 80s. I just rage my way through it, swearing at the annoying arseholes around me. Mainly under my breath.

I did the c25K in the hope I'd get that runner's high, but never enjoyed it and just hated all the perky ponytail-swishing bouncy people bounding past. People said I should a park run. Can think of no worse hell.

And another thing. There are indeed lots of things we don't want to do, but most of them don't take as much time as exercise. And delayed gratification - maybe being less repellent to look at, or less weedy - is not sufficient motivation for 'future me', when 'current me' has to do the suffering!

Walking is one of the best exercises you can do.

Just include some inclines as these will do more for your bones/muscles than flat walking.

Perhaps take up hiking so it’s a bit more effort.

Then a couple of times a week do a few dumbbells for your arms.

Ah yes ..add to that being a fat child and I am the same .
But you have to find something you like and get in a routine with it .
I swim most mornings,really early first thing
It's not strength training or anything..but at least I've found some exercise I can tolerate.
It makes a massive difference exercise wise ,if you listen to music on headphones,I have music on while I swim

How about fencing or kickboxing - when the rage set in you could at least fight something. :-)

I agree that there are definitely two types of people who either love or loathe exercise.

One of my friends is a marathon fanatic to the point of running her life away almost. She'd aimed to do 50 marathons before she is 50 (! Or something equally awful, i can't quite remember what the total is), and as admirable as that is in some ways, it made her the biggest exercise bore ever. She would have to always bring the conversation back to how much she had/was/is running, her personal best times, her new Garmin watch, and so on... I have every respect for being fit and healthy, but she really took it to an extreme. (Yep, I've exercised a lot in the past, doing hockey, running, going to the gym. I mostly just did it in moderation as I think it's worse to do it to excess).

Read Stronger by Poorna Bell. I suspect this will help you to understand some of your feelings towards exercise (almost definitely from childhood and societal expectations) and be inspired by those who have overcome it to become strong, both mentally and physically.

@herbaceous

well, exercise does generally make us look better as well as being good for our health. What’s wrong with a bit of vanity??

He did not win a Nobel Prize. He won an ignoble Noble Prize, which is a satirical award.

His research is interesting but (obviously) also criticised.

Anyhow, clamining (or believing...) that walking is sufficient exercise based on the reasarch on the lifestyle and exercise habits prevalent in "blue zones" seems quite risky to me. Because even IF we accept the premise around blue zones/longevity: Is the average mumsnetter talking about the "benefits of a blue zone lifestyle" actually living a traditional Okinawan life style? Sardinian? Or 7th Day Adventist in California? I somehow doubt it.

I've only read the first page of the thread, but wanted to throw reformer Pilates into the mix (apologies if anyone else has already). You're working against resistance and it's a great workout. I started in January and have gone religiously since and have honestly got muscles where I didn't know muscles existed now. I'm also a big walker, usually about 15,000 steps a day.

Per pp I also have 5K dumbbells at home and do a 20 minute workout with those in front of the telly every night.

I'd gone from a 10/12 to a solid 12 in peri but have lost a couple of inches off my thighs since starting reformer, half an inch off my waist. (I don't weigh myself but presumably am a healthy BMI as I do have to go and get weight/BP at my HRT review - I specifically ask not to know the weight as I have previously suffered from ED and prefer not to have numbers that I can get quite obsessive over.)

You really need to.
Pain that makes you scream in your sleep and dependency on carers for toileting is something I have witnessed in older women in my family who picked diet over exercise.

I don't like exercise, either, but I like less the idea of having to brace myself on the arms of a chair just to halfway stand up due to sarcopenia from being sedentary and not eating protein etc.

The elderly people in my life who avoid eggs, dairy, sunlight and exercise have scared the motivation right into me!