To not want to exercise

[beewaspfly]

help me out here. Wrong side of 40, in the thick of perimenopause. All of my friends, and I mean all, have started exercising like crazy in the past few years- even the ones I’d least expect. My GP keeps telling me I HAVE to start strength training or I’ll have an unbearable later life.

but…I don’t want to. It’s just so tedious. I hate the gym, hate PT even more, hate classes (have tried several), hate home work outs, even the short ones. I don’t get any endorphin rush from it or whatever. The prospect of doing it ruins my day - it’s better if I do it first thing but even then I hate every minute.

id rather just be walking somewhere nice, meeting friends, working, napping, catching up on tv and eating amazing food with my family, reading and enjoying my life without the sense of impending dread.

im size 10, love to walk for HOURS every day, slim but not really toned (ok, a bit flabby in some areas), feel pretty healthy on the whole. Can’t I just keep doing what I’m doing? Please??

my mum is in her 70s and fine doing what I do, although she has had some falls lately. Dad says he wish he’d worked out as he’s such a weedy skinny old man now (his words). But they’re fine. My grandmother is in her 90s and going strong.

why do I have to do this? Why is everyone else doing this? Someone tell me one good reason and I’ll stop moaning

It must depend who you speak to, I am 54, obese (according to BMI) size 14 and have rheumatoid arthritis. I got married last year and started swimming once a week, kettlebells (light weights only) once a week and legs bums and tums which I intend to continue when I can. I hate getting sweaty and dont do any impact stuff as it hurts my knees but the stuff I do I can just about cope with but no Dr or Nurse has ever told me I should be doing any exercise and until the pre wedding attempt the only answer I ever gave to 'do you exercise?' was I walk the dog each day. My mum is nearly 80 and my 2 grannies both lived to mid 80s physically fit (the brain is a different matter in our family) and never darkened the door of a gym or fitness class so is it really necessary or is this just the NHS's latest thing? 🙄

We all age, no matter how much exercise we do, and none of us will be running around like teens in our 80s whatever we do, or don't do.

Pretty sure most teenagers could not keep with her even when she's in her 80s:
https://www.facebook.com/reel/1243257087989204

A study of 140 000 people found that those who consistently did between 90 minutes and two hours of weight training every week lowered the risk of premature death due to neurological disease - for example dementia by 27%. It's really not insignificant.

You're an intelligent adult, you can make the choice yourself. The science and your gp are advising you to do it, your parents are "fine" but perhaps not exactly the way they wished things were (e.g. the breaks and your dad feeling weedy). Ask yourself- do I actually want to do this!? If the answer is no, you take your chances and will probably be similar to your parents, if that's ok by you, it is. If the answer is Yes, I don't want breaks in my 70s, I want to protect my bones and joints and improve my strength, then you need to reframe it in your head. Go from "I should/must" to "I want to do this, I want to be strong". If you like socialising, go with a friend. As you're doing it for strength not weight loss etc, build it around a coffee and cake trip. Try a variety of stuff and find the one you like best. I'm like you, I dislike it, I don't get endorphins, I don't like forcing myself to go and I'd rather do anything else really. However, I want to be strong, I want to be a healthy weight, I want to be able to grab a child and run in an emergency. So therefore, I want to exercise. For me, I found a PT who is a big gossip and has an exciting romantic life - I go for the chat and have to (unfortunately) exercise at the same time. 2-3 times a week. I also like a pilates class as its mainly lying down and builds muscle too!

I've taken up running, age 40. I'm a year in. I plan to add some weights in as well but I wanted to adjust my mindset to 3 X runs a week first. I cannot tell you how much better I feel just for shutting up the "You should be exercising" voice in my head.

You are the same size and same age as me ☺️ I’m slim but not toned, I eat well, walk loads, don’t smoke and only enjoy the occasional drink. I sleep well and I’m generally very healthy! Hopefully that is enough. I’ve never heard of strength training being compulsory at our age? Why did he say you would suffer in old age if you don’t? I’m sure everything you are doing is enough.

Droans on and on about how she doesn’t want to exercise and enjoys all the delicious food, and is a size 10 btw and then states she walks for HOUUURSSSS at each, capital letters, don’t forget the caps.

Just wondering if the OP is always this insufferable. Maybe it’s a low attention day for her.

I do all those things in the gym but still find it repetitive and boring. I hate the gym. It's a necessary evil! Your post does illustrate how people who love certain things can't really understand why other people don't!

As a side point, dress size really is totally irrelevant, not least because it's so variable. It really annoys me seeing it used as some kind of health or fitness measure. BMI is a bit of a blunt instrument but it's a much better rule of thumb and if you don't lift or do any strength or weight training then it's not going to be thrown by all your muscle. If nothing else, give your height and measurements so we know your dimensions but dress size is a really pointless measure of anything except what number fits you in store X.

I posted why on the page before this.

I'm almost 47 and recently lost a lot of weight. I walk about 1.5 miles ish a day to and from work so I count that as exercise but I have to do it to get to work! I do weights / strength training once a week for an hour with a PT who is a mental health PT. I don't do anything else and like you I don't have the energy or time and when I do get a spare 5 mins I rather just sit and watch TV!
If I didn't have my PT I wouldn't do weights etc on my own. I sometimes don't want to do it but when there I enjoy and we chat, have a laugh etc. She doesn't push me at all. That's the only think I recommend having a PT once a week who does things at your pace.

lifting weights is the least ballachey method.

It's the easiest way to get progressive overload.

Living into your 80s and being physically strong are not the same thing.

@ LadyLovesALot ·

Yes I should have added it would need to be private. My sister only got one because an x ray flagged up something of concern. You certainly wouldn't get one on the NHS here.

I will be going for one shortly and have started some high reps of light weights daily/ 5 times a week. I think this would be why others are recommending it op, though walking is weight bearing exercise. I find it easier to do weights with squats on a vibro plate in front of the tv.

I find your post hard to understand.( I don't know what getting married has any relevance unless you're meaning weight loss before your big day.)

Most people in the NHS shy away from giving advice because they are terrified of offending people- especially obese people. This has been known for years. The old days when a family GP would say 'Look Mrs Brown, you really do need to get a grip on your weight to avoid future illness' are over. GPs were told not to discuss weight.

The nurse wasn't 'right' by not mentioning doing more than just walk the dog.

There is a consensus that to prevent sarcopenia , all adults need to do weight bearing exercise and ideally also weights to retain muscle.

It's not a recent NHS 'thing' at all.

My mum is nearly 80 and my 2 grannies both lived to mid 80s physically fit (the brain is a different matter in our family

Do you know there is a very strong connection between lack of exercise and the development of dementia?

Obviously you are doing something within the limits of your RA which is great.

But being obese and having RA is putting a huge strain on your joints and means a hip replacement and maybe knees too is very likely.

Your Drs should be telling you this.

You could try combining it with something you do like, maybe a 30 minute episode of a tv show, albums you always wanted to listen to, a gripping crime podcast etc. Or do something different like.dance workouts, climbing or swimming instead.

I hate them. But I think you find the thing you hate least and stick with that.

The point you make is that it's a necessary evil. OP said that these things make her throw tantrums. There's a difference in attitude there.

I had a friend once (not anymore, she didn't like it when I refused to accept being unhealthy) who was like that, she would throw tantrums after every doctors appointment when they told her she needed to eat better or exercise more to negate her health issues. She is, last I heard, almost entirely housebound now because she hasn't done a single thing the doctor recommended to keep herself healthy. Purely because she didn't like them. She's not even 50. I just hope that she's happy with the choices she made and that the daily caramel latte with cream and extra caramel was worth it.

It's really necessary.

My Nan is 95. She is sharp as a pin, and her physical health is excellent despite smoking 20 a day all her life and living on a diet of processed meat because my grandad worked in a meat processing plant and they got as much sausage and bacon as they could eat.

She hasn't been able to get out of a chair on her own since she was 85.

Now, she can't walk. Her muscles aren't strong enough, and she has osteoporosis.

This could have been averted had she mindfully tried to keep her strength up.

My parents and in-laws are the same age. My parents are incredibly active and used to go to the gym, and my dad was a builder. My in-laws have never exercised or lived in an active way. They're pretty much housebound now and have falls. My dad bounds about like a mountain goat. My mum has severe arthritis, has had two failed knee replacements on both knees, but she has enough muscle strength to live an active life. She is far fitter than my father in law, who can't even walk to the shop any more.

Living a long time is one thing. Actually fully inhabiting your body in that span, quite another.

Thats great to hear. Long may she continue. Oddly it is lucky it was her arm that she broke and not her pelvis or hip which can literally be a killer for older people as the length of time they are immobile can lead to other issues, eg with breathing, muscle loss etc which really stops recovery.

Do you never get Runners High after cardio? I feel so great after a cardio session that it is quite addictive.

I really enjoy the slow pace of yoga and it helps clear my mind.

Horse riding (I appreciate - not the most accessible) is another great stress buster and I truly enjoy it.

Aqua aerobics at the gym is also enjoyable.

Group sessions e.g. netball in the summer, are a great laugh.

The trick for me is to do the exercise I enjoy most of the time (and to strength train once a week, which I don't enjoy but know it's good for me).

Correct!

Health is now measured as 'healthy years' not 'many years'.

I read some stats not long ago which showed that something like 70% of people in the UK aged over60/65 had some chronic illness (mostly linked to diet/ lack of exercise/ smoking.)

That's appalling. Not only is it making the NHS bankrupt but it's destroying quality of life for millions of people.

I don't think you have to get a buzz from exercise. You just have to show up and do it in your home, outside or a gym.

I don't get a buzz from having to see the dental hygienist 3 times a year but I do it because I want to keep my teeth.

Your story is indicating WHY we need to exercise.

If your mum had exercised, her increased bone strength might have meant her arm didn't break, that she was strong enough to absorb the impact of her own fall.

Increased muscle strength, hip flexibility and balance might have meant she didn't fall at all, she was able to correct herself in her stumble.

But some falls are unavoidable and it's the luck of the draw how you land.

If she had exercised, she'd have been able to get herself back up on her own without using her hands, and called for help .

I've underlined this because research shows that being able to do this easily - the Sitting-Rising Test (SRT) - is a strong predictor of longevity and serves as a brilliant barometer for overall muscular strength, hip flexibility and balance.

Gyms are a relatively new concept, especially away from a Boxing ring..and Weight training is practically Y2K advice.

You won't find many nonogenerians who spent decades fitting in a sesh' come hell or high water.

What you do find is that they have always been 'busy' and have that fidget Gene.
Always up and about "pottering".
I also find that they are lifelong "eat to live" people and not "live to eat"

Don't fall for the Gym or Die bullshit, unless you actually like it.

Those things are bad for you but it takes more than one sickly calorific drink a day to get you to the point where you can't leave the house.

If her weight and weight related issues are caused entirely by her lifestyle and making her effectively housebound in her 40s, that suggests a mental health issue to me because that's not being a bit greedy, that's really excessive self neglect.

I exercise because I don't want to be a burden on anyone else as an old lady.

And because my husband doesn't so someone's going to have to be strong. I suspect he'll be like his Dad, and just give up and settle into his armchair. Fuck that. I want to be striding around like a mountain goat in my 80s. I hate the idea of feeling trapped - being trapped in my own body is my worst nightmare.

It will come, I know it will. Medical science is advancing so fast, do no harm remains - they have to keep us alive, we will be living longer and longer. I am not deluded. I know that my physical strength and mobility will almost certainly fail me if I'm lucky enough to live a long life.

I want to minimise the bit of that life where I have all this lust for life without the strength to do something with it.

Are you talking about the test where you have to get up from the floor, or the 30 second one counting how many times you can stand and sit from a chair (no arms)?