To not want to exercise

[beewaspfly]

help me out here. Wrong side of 40, in the thick of perimenopause. All of my friends, and I mean all, have started exercising like crazy in the past few years- even the ones I’d least expect. My GP keeps telling me I HAVE to start strength training or I’ll have an unbearable later life.

but…I don’t want to. It’s just so tedious. I hate the gym, hate PT even more, hate classes (have tried several), hate home work outs, even the short ones. I don’t get any endorphin rush from it or whatever. The prospect of doing it ruins my day - it’s better if I do it first thing but even then I hate every minute.

id rather just be walking somewhere nice, meeting friends, working, napping, catching up on tv and eating amazing food with my family, reading and enjoying my life without the sense of impending dread.

im size 10, love to walk for HOURS every day, slim but not really toned (ok, a bit flabby in some areas), feel pretty healthy on the whole. Can’t I just keep doing what I’m doing? Please??

my mum is in her 70s and fine doing what I do, although she has had some falls lately. Dad says he wish he’d worked out as he’s such a weedy skinny old man now (his words). But they’re fine. My grandmother is in her 90s and going strong.

why do I have to do this? Why is everyone else doing this? Someone tell me one good reason and I’ll stop moaning

Forgot to add that bad balance is worse than anything: Just stand on one leg at a time when cleaning your teeth.

I use their workouts too. Yes2Move.
Love Aiko's dry wit. And when the cat (Muji?) wanders in.

Gardening?

Being a size 10 shouldn't come into it. Exercise and diet are two very separate things and you can exercise a lot and still be overweight and vice versa. Exercise has its own huge benefits regardless of the size of the exerciser. It's definitely not the case that only bigger people 'need' to exercise.
I am lucky that I am someone who has always enjoyed exercise but I listened to a podcast the other day where they were saying that not wanting to exercise is the most natural state as it uses up energy and we are naturally wired to conserve energy and save our 'exercise' for when we have to hunt and gather. 😀 Walking is great exercise so definitely keep that up, add ankle or wrist weights? Carry your shopping rather than delivery or taking the car? There are loads of benefits to strength training but if you hate doing it what can you do? I had a childhood of cycling everywhere in terrible weather (grew up in a European country where cycling is the main mode of transportation) and I can guarantee you I will never set food in a spinning studio in my life. I do plenty of other things instead but if spinning was the only exercise I could do for whatever reason I imagine my levels of activity would decrease dramatically so I don't blame you. The feeling in your thighs when you cycle hard puts me in a bad mood and takes me right back to cycling to school (running late as always hence cycling fast) with the rain on my face. 😂 You know the benefits, you know the risks, all you can do is make your own decision and support your bone health in as many other ways as possible, not sure if HRT when the time comes will be protective?

Even having the shopping delivered, you can carry it from the front door to the kitchen, which is better than nothing.

I would add to the everyday exercise suggestions - Sit on the floor and practice getting up without using your hands/arms. I’m late 40’s and about 18mths ago i realised i couldn't get up without a fuss simply because I’d not sat on the floor for any length of time since the kids were little (grown up now) so I purposely do my nighttime moisturising routine sat on the floor and get up and down a few times. I can now spring up with no effort at all, but it really is use it or lose it with physical stuff.
You obviously have good genes OP, so you’re at a big advantage to many of us. My female relatives expire in their 60’s on average, so don’t waste your opportunities!

The idea of exercise is to make your later years more pleasant, but if it's at the cost of making your current life unpleasant, then... is it worth it? There's no guarantee for any of us that we'll reach our later years anyway.

I'm with you, I've never enjoyed exercise and when people talk about how much they love it, I honestly feel like I must be from another planet.

You could try and incorporate lifting and exercise into your daily life though. For example, I'm trying to remember to stop asking my husband to carry heavy things for me at home and just do it myself instead. Carry a heavy bag when you're walking. Put on some good music and dance around your kitchen. Go to the garden centre, buy loads of ceramic plant pots and bags of compost, then carry them to your car, and to your garden etc. Things like that.

My mum is in her early 60s and has been exercise-phobic her entire life (as well as having borderline ED and thinking that sugar is the main food group you need...), and I'm really starting to see her starting to look really frail. Whereas my MIL is in her early 70s and never stops, and is surprisingly strong and fit. MIL doesn't "do exercise" by the way, she just walks a lot, cycles to the next village to buy bread, potters around her house, does lots of DIY and gardening, and doesn't shy away from lifting and carrying things. Oh and MIL eats proper meals every day. But she rarely sits down, and the difference is starting to show between the two of them.

I hate exercise too. I do it - run twice a week, gym to do weights twice a week - as I know it's the right thing to do (I am early 50s), and also I'd be flabby otherwise. But I do not enjoy it. So you have my sympathies!

Being a size 10 shouldn't come into it. Exercise and diet are two very separate things and you can exercise a lot and still be overweight and vice versa. Exercise has its own huge benefits regardless of the size of the exerciser. It's definitely not the case that only bigger people 'need' to exercise.

Absolutely this. My mum (in the comment above) has always been very thin, but she's becoming very weak and frail. I think that was a big mistake she has made, assuming that being thin = healthy, when in reality that's only part of the picture. Especially as you get older, you can be thin and weak. Especially if you have undernourished yourself.

You can do what you like. If you're walking for an hour a day at a brisk pace and you're a size 10 you're probably doing fine. An hour's walk is probably, what, about three miles? That's not bad at all.

Of course it's beneficial to do something strength related as well, but there are many things in life that are beneficial without being essential deal-breakers for a healthy life, and most of us don't do all of them. I wouldn't be stressing about this at all.

You run/walk the best part of a marathon EVERY DAY and also swim nearly every day?! So basically a duathlon every day? That is nuts!

Sound like you've made your mind up not to, so just make your peace with your decision!

I will add though don't knock it until you have actually tried it, I mean strength training specifically (and if you have fair enough).

I have recently started strength training for exactly the reasons you have been advised to (plus I lost quite a bit of weight so wanted to tone up). I don't necessarily notice differences in my body BUT I enjoy it when it's done and I do feel stronger. It's not getting all sweaty and flogging yourself, it's steady exercises. I stick my headphones in and get it done. I find listening to a podcast helps take my mind off what I am actually doing. I can't see myself getting obsessed with it but I feel like I am helping my future self. I want to be an active Granny!

Your mum is 70, 70 and having falls. That's not 'fine' ! 70 is no age.

I'd do 5 mins every morning and do it for 6 months and then reassess.

Your mad if you think a load of people on the internet can give you a pass to skip what is proven science.

Sorry if someone else has suggested this as I haven’t read the full thread. What about walking with a weighted vest?

Mainly HIIT, which is supposed to be only for a short length of time. Plus weights on alternate days. Short and sharp works for me as I’m in and out quickly.

Eh, both my grandma and my aunt walked loads while eating well and they’ve both aged amazingly well, I could only hope to be that lucky.

You do you. Everyone is entitled to their own preferences.

However, please dont complain if life gets a bit tougher in later years and although doing 'ok' in later years is good enough for some, others have realised they can do really well with a bit of exercise helping them along the way.

I have in laws who lived like you. They retired about 20 years ago at 60. For 10 years they were fine (Normal aches and pains) but once they hit 70 they have been sitting in gods waiting room waiting to die. Its so sad to see. Their life revolves around feeling ill, shopping for food, sitting in their big house in the sun room and.......well thats just it.

I used to be fit. I gave up around lockdown and never bothered with it. I am mid 40’s, I feel
older and weak. I’m not motivated. For the first time in my life I’ve a belly after years of being skinny and I don’t care.
I am thinking about doing some strength training exercises one day. I don’t hate it I’ve just lost interest.

Walking is exercise- how many steps would you say you cover?

I do yoga and Pilates and there are quite a lot of older ladies who attend the classes. They all say they are much fitter and mobile, less falls than their friends who don’t and have never done it. One of my classes aligns with chair yoga leaving (so usually very old clients) and I’ve had a few chats with some of the lovely ladies who said they wished they moved their bodies sooner.

Strength, particularly functional strength is very important. There are so many days I don’t want to work out but I remind myself I will thank myself as I get older.

My Mum is reaching 50 and although not overweight has never really exercised or worked out and I think it’s finally starting to show. Her body is knackered.

I hear you, OP. I also hate exercise...but it is good for mental health and longevity. I walk the dog, do barre and pilates classes (bit of strength training there with both), and some stretchy yoga.

I despise the gym and any form of heavy cardio (running etc)....but I do quite enjoy barre/pilates and feel better for it. Is it possible you find a form of exercise that you can bear to go alongside the walking?

Honestly, I don't think there's any need to be excessive with it. I will get flamed but all the women I know who exercise manically (running marathons etc) look far older than those who are more moderate - I don't think overdoing it is good for you!

I exercise because I genuinely feel good from it. Don’t get me wrong sometimes I dread it but I never regret going and get a buzz from feeling my heart rate going and muscles working. I find walking a bit boring.

everyone enjoys their own thing. It sounds like you walk a lot which is good in itself

What about group classes? Zumba, Pilates, Yoga, or anything really with a social feel, so it doesn't feel like a chore. I used to like these plus an exercise class in the water. I lived near a really great sports centre. There was a large group of older ladies who had senior gym passes: They went to water exercise, dancercize, pilates, table tennis or whatever took their fancy. Normally they did 2 or 3 group classes a morning with coffee/tea/breakfast rolls/cake in between, they all went home after 1pm.

Almost anyone with young children will be doing some sort of weights without thinking about it - you start by lifting a small baby many times a day, and that progresses until they’re a hefty toddler of 3 or 4, or more.

It doesn’t have to be weight lifting at the gym. I hate the gym too but I do kettle exercises twice a week. It’s pretty good and only 20 minutes. Use as heavy a weight as is comfortable. I do it for later life as I see my parents lose mobility and strength in old age

I do too, sometimes only about five or ten minutes on kettle bells and hand weights but do it nearly every day. It seems effective in that it makes me feel better