To not want to exercise

[beewaspfly]

help me out here. Wrong side of 40, in the thick of perimenopause. All of my friends, and I mean all, have started exercising like crazy in the past few years- even the ones I’d least expect. My GP keeps telling me I HAVE to start strength training or I’ll have an unbearable later life.

but…I don’t want to. It’s just so tedious. I hate the gym, hate PT even more, hate classes (have tried several), hate home work outs, even the short ones. I don’t get any endorphin rush from it or whatever. The prospect of doing it ruins my day - it’s better if I do it first thing but even then I hate every minute.

id rather just be walking somewhere nice, meeting friends, working, napping, catching up on tv and eating amazing food with my family, reading and enjoying my life without the sense of impending dread.

im size 10, love to walk for HOURS every day, slim but not really toned (ok, a bit flabby in some areas), feel pretty healthy on the whole. Can’t I just keep doing what I’m doing? Please??

my mum is in her 70s and fine doing what I do, although she has had some falls lately. Dad says he wish he’d worked out as he’s such a weedy skinny old man now (his words). But they’re fine. My grandmother is in her 90s and going strong.

why do I have to do this? Why is everyone else doing this? Someone tell me one good reason and I’ll stop moaning

I’m a good couple of decades younger and I feel the same. The only exercise I found ok is yoga and a combative type group class where you exercise as a group but it’s almost like you’re training in martial arts kind of movements. I don’t understand how people “go gym”/ what they think about when they do the same thing over and over again, it is incredibly dull having tried it.

I suggest you try hard to find a form of activity you enjoy, walking is one of them. You could balance on one leg brushing teeth etc etc. thankfully it’s not unusual to not “go gym”

There is a little rash of threads on here started by OPs who seem proud of their inability or reluctance to perform simple, important tasks for themselves e.g. going to bed at a reasonable time, making decisions that impact on their life, "adulting" or doing basic exercises to stay strong and upright.

Is someone trying to drip a 'women are feeble little fairies who need a strong man' message in our ears - or are some people just lacklustre bastards too idle and immature to own themselves.

Six of one and half a dozen of the other I reckon.

Sounds like they are doing informal exercise all the time - which is I suppose how humans have exercised and stayed strong for life since time began.

It obviously works.

Agree. Joints fucked; and kidneys also fucked from all the excess protein.

I posted this earlier in the thread but it’s really worth watching as the results are incredible, for her mum in particular.

I hate hate HATE exercise with a passion. But at 65 I know that I want a decent quality of life as I age, not to be riddled with aches and pains and unable to get up off the floor if I fall down. I've seen it happen to so many older friends and relatives - it's fine to not be strong until that moment when you NEED to be and aren't.

So I run, I cycle, I do Pilates, I lift the odd weight. I'll take the mind numbing tedium (and I run with my dog to kill two birds with one stone) if it means that I'm not going to be hunched in a chair when I'm 80, unable to open a can of beans for lunch.

It's easy when you're young to think you're in a steady state, but it can be alarming how fast systems go downhill.

Weak joints (or more correctly, weak muscles and connective tissues supporting joints) are more prone to injury.

Exercising doesn't lead to excess protein or kidney disease.

Nobody cares if you exercise or not, but don't try to justify yourself with misinformation.

Could you not feel the resistance and do it anyway, working through the feelings as you go?

I wouldn’t bother with the gym but home workouts while listening to a podcast or watching your fav TV - is that achievable?

I have a treadmill and when it’s wet I walk on that for an hour, fast with incline while watching Below Deck!

What's the app? I need it!

Your body, your choice

I am like the OP. I am an active mother, but don't exercise purposefully. So I get her post.

Not to pick on this particular poster but its advice like this is so annoying..... there are millions of online programmes and trainers etc... its not that we (OP and I) can't find the right one, we just don't want to. I have a few friends who are constantly sending advice about supplements, check out this influencer, etc. Im not interested. I dont send them links about my interests and hobbies.
Again, its not to pick on you specifically @Sortingmyself but that if a person of my age says they arent interested the automatic response seems to be "you will like it, just follow this programme " etc from friends and family.

We start losing bone at a certain point. Strength training keeps your bones strong. It's just investing in your elderly years and what kind of life you want mobility wise.

You can make your own choices. I personally refuse to be one of those little elderly women hunched over a walker.

I took up consistent exercise at 40 for bone health when I had spent a lot of time on orthopaedic wards with my mother. I don’t want to be scared of breaking a bone with any movement as I get older. I also hated exercise but I want to be a healthy and independent old lady so knew I needed to do something. I fell in love with reformer Pilates. I joke that of course the only exercise I could stick with was the most expensive! I am strong and toned now and it’s no hardship to stick with it,

bewaspfly Sod what your doctor says! You don't HAVE to do anything anyone says; it's your body and life, not theirs.

If you weigh 8 stone or 108, then if you don't want to exercise and don't like it, then don't do it; there's no point in forcing yourself to do things you don't like.

I do several lengths of the Olympic-sized swimming pool 6 days a week, and I run/walk 20 miles a day, but only because I love doing them.

I'm female, 6'2 and 11 stones, and I detest gyms - tried one once, years ago, I hate being surrounded by sweaty Bettys, muscular Martins, huge ugly heavy machines and the ''music'' which was blaring out at a deafening rate. And I can't abide the other exercises like situps, mats, etc.

A doctor once told me that at my height and weight, he's putting me on a diet and telling me to exercise as I'm ''chubby''! I angrily told him I'm not ''chubby'', I find his attitude to be condescending and patronising, he can stuff his diet up his arse, and I DO exercise 6 days a week with running and swimming, and the NHS says a female of my height/weight should be between 10 stone 4 and 13 stone 12, so I'm within my range!

You're only a size 10, so it's not as if you're morbidly obese, and have you noticed that some doctors are huge?!

Watch TV, stuff your face with Rice Crispies or whatever it is you like, carry on reading and walking, bollocks to society expectations!

Yep and what it inspired me to do is find the most efficient way to exercise.

15 mins of really working hard, lifting heavy or HIIT, is a lot more efficient than a lunchtime walk or yoga class. If you really enjoy the yoga, you should obviously do that anyway, but if you hate exercise make it count

I mean, all the people saying you "have" to doesnt mean anything. As generations have proved you wont just randomly keel over as all your bones splinter on your 70th birthday if you dont.

The fact you seem to have a very exercise positive group of friends doesnt mean every single 40plus year old woman does the same - you must be able to look around you at shopping centres, work, on holiday and see that a large proportion are overweight and do almost no exercise at all (as a chubby lazy fucker myself this isnt being judgy!) - if you walk a lot and are slim you're already healthier than the majority.

And tbh lots of things are just luck - you could clean eat your entire life and exercise for two hours a day and then get run over by a bus or develop a completely unrelated disease. Neither of my grandparents have ever done any "formal" exercise more strenuous than a slow walk and in their late 80s are still going strong, living independently and not even on any medication.

Only you can decide if spending time now is worth potential gain in the future.

Is there any other type of exercise you dont hate? Swimming? Climbing ( a good alternative to weights as youre using your own body weight). Same with yoga etc. particularly if you hold the positions for longer. Regular gym goers might brag about lifting 60kg or whatever but every time you do a squat in front of the TV youre almost doing the same thing.

Could you at least vary your walking by wearing wrist weights or weighted backpack?

Definitely, my advice would be wildly different if the Op had described her life as entirely sedentary or that she was overweight or has existing health problems. The one I watched wasn’t about blue zones, it was all individuals, inspired by the documentary maker’s mother in law. It did prompt me to look into blue zones though, and I found it’s not just their activity levels but social contact as well. The communities all have a culture where they have a lot more social interaction than ours.

But, if a person is genuinely not interested, why post about it? Just carry on being not interested. You post, you get advice. Or is it all just for validation?

It's the last thing, isn't it?

It could still happen no matter what you do.

I hated PE at school, that coupled with the 90s/00s diet culture which prioritised thinness over all other things meant that getting into exercise and loving it has been a shock. I do one cardio class (differs depending on my schedule), train with a PT at the gym and a solo weights session at the gym. I don't really enjoy the gym environment but I do like lifting heavy things above my head. I treated it like I do any task that I don't like doing and just did it until it became habit. I find I can't really think about anything else while I'm exercising because I might drop a weight or crash into someone else at Zumba so it helps keep my brain quiet. There's so many studies about the benefit of exercising for both physical, cognitive and mental health. I think an hour's walk or so a day is probably the bare minimum we should do.

I've got primary age kids and it's good for them to see both me & DH going off to do exercise, coming back all sweaty. Neither of my parents did exercise and now in their late 60s it's taking its toll, same with MIL. FIL has also been active and continues to be so in his mid 70s, he's in great nick! I've been in A&E with my parents recently and it's the like living dead in there - yes people live longer but if they can't get out of bed themselves, can't go to the toilet, need help for basic tasks it's not much of a life is it.

I hate it too, but I just get on with it. I hate back and neck pain even more and I know I will get it eventually if I don't.

So what's the point then?

I find that a very weird attitude tbh.

Have you thought about one of those weighted vests to wear while walking? get a bit of strength training (good for the menopausal bones!) whilst not having to deviate too much from what you like?

Amazon.com : PICKPEAK Weighted Vest for Woman Man 5lb/6lb/8lb/11lb/12lb/13lb/15lb/20lb/25lb/30lb Weighted Vest for Walking, Strength Training Weight Vest with Adjustable Buckle Detachable Phone Pouch for Running Workout : Sports & Outdoors

Just to add.. the use it or lose it principle also definitely applies to the brain too.

I've had 3 concussions and an acquired brain injury from medication. I couldn't read after my first concussion but I'm am editor by trade, so literally had to retrain my brain to become better. Neuroplasticity is a thing, you know. As is being fit physically.

Your youth is on your side. Be fit now, and I'm sure you will be happier with age. Be kind to yourself, OP. You only have one body, and it's a shock when it really goes wrong, believe me.

Housework itself is an amazing workout, plus lifting shopping in and out of the car, making beds. So what's all the fuss about. Different if you have a cleaner, or don't do housework and have shopping delivered.