To not want to exercise

[beewaspfly]

help me out here. Wrong side of 40, in the thick of perimenopause. All of my friends, and I mean all, have started exercising like crazy in the past few years- even the ones I’d least expect. My GP keeps telling me I HAVE to start strength training or I’ll have an unbearable later life.

but…I don’t want to. It’s just so tedious. I hate the gym, hate PT even more, hate classes (have tried several), hate home work outs, even the short ones. I don’t get any endorphin rush from it or whatever. The prospect of doing it ruins my day - it’s better if I do it first thing but even then I hate every minute.

id rather just be walking somewhere nice, meeting friends, working, napping, catching up on tv and eating amazing food with my family, reading and enjoying my life without the sense of impending dread.

im size 10, love to walk for HOURS every day, slim but not really toned (ok, a bit flabby in some areas), feel pretty healthy on the whole. Can’t I just keep doing what I’m doing? Please??

my mum is in her 70s and fine doing what I do, although she has had some falls lately. Dad says he wish he’d worked out as he’s such a weedy skinny old man now (his words). But they’re fine. My grandmother is in her 90s and going strong.

why do I have to do this? Why is everyone else doing this? Someone tell me one good reason and I’ll stop moaning

OP I could’ve written this exact thread! Except I’m 60 and not a size 10! I hate any form of organised exercise with a passion. And the thought of doing weights leaves me cold.

I was recently in hospital with my mum (she had a fracture) and the doctor there said there’s 3 things you can do to reduce the risk of osteoporosis: weight-bearing exercise, take HRT, and I forgot the 3rd but it might’ve been vitamin D and calcium. Well I do 2 out of 3 so that’ll do for me! Also I do a lot of walking and cycling, because I enjoy them, and they’re healthy 👍

My granny was always a walker and she was pretty fit and active for an 90yo, until she had a fall at home and couldn’t get herself back up as she didn’t have any muscle strength. She was on floor for a good few hours before my dad found her, which meant she had to go into hospital. When she came out that was the start of a very marked and rapid decline physically and cognitively. I believe if she had had the strength to get herself back on her feet again, that all could have been avoided.

What a shame you don’t love your body enough to look after it. Getting older is a privilege and you only get one chance.

The Blue Zone stuff is built on flawed data. Dr Saul Newman won a Nobel Prize for his work on this.
https://www.ucl.ac.uk/ioe/news/2024/sep/ucl-demographers-work-debunking-blue-zone-regions-exceptional-lifespans-wins-ig-nobel-prize

I bet OP has gone away to have a bit of a walk. Walking's fine, but it's not quite enough.

I'm 77. Lots of my friends can't lift a sack of compost on their own, or carry two bags of shopping at the same time. They.struggle with the tops of jars and bottles and can't get up from a chair without using their hands, or from the floor unaided, or get out of a bath. None of these bothers me, on most days.

You (we all) need strong legs and feet, to help balance and recovery from a trip so that it isn't a fall; strong hands and arms so be able to catch and hold on to something, and the ability to get up from the floor. Bounce and flexibility go away if we don't maintain them.

I do weekly Pilates, childminding for grandchildren, every other day stretches, chair stand-sits and one-leg stands during the day when I think of it. I've never done weights, but I'm thinking about it.

Muscular and cardiovascular endurance can improve without muscle growth, and full body coordination can improve through learning to switch on muscle chains creating increased physical confidence and capacity. But pilates isn't going to grow muscle because it only uses body weight for resistance which is not enough for hypertrophy which needs progressive overload.

This bit has really amused me:

’Dr Newman showed that the highest rates of achieving extreme old age are predicted by high poverty, the lack of birth certificates, and fewer 90-year-olds. Poverty and pressure to commit pension fraud were shown to be excellent indicators of reaching ages 100+ in a way that is ‘the opposite of rational expectations’.

I have damaged my stomach muscles, i have to do something to fix it and I have literally been devising a plan to do the most specific exercises for the bare minimum reps to fix it. I will not waste one second or one bit of energy more than i need to.

i genuinely hate hate hate exercise it gives me zero joy. I work it into my life so its not an extra task. Housework, gardening, walking, taking stairs at work. All way better than a gym.

I think I watched the same documentary. I went back and looked at the evidence about the Blue Zones. Although groups of people were different, in terms of exercise they were all more active. It might be farming, gardening, dancing, kneading bread or whatever. They also tend not to sit for extended periods. So they don't do intense, structured exercise, but they also don't sit in front of the TV for hours.

I completely agree about not doing something you hate.

A lot of people equate exercising with going to the gym. I am what I would say is fitter than average for my age. I run 4-5 times a week, bike, hike, lift weights. I haven’t been in a gym other than in a hotel I’ve been visiting in probably 15 years! There are so many ways to get exercise in that don’t involve organised classes, going to a gym or even leaving your house.

My mum is also 90, had a fall and broke her arm, couldn’t get back up, didn’t want to press her pendant for a few hours so was on the floor for a while. She’s recovered fantastically, and is now in a care home where she’s thriving. She’s never lifted a weight or been to an exercise class in her life. She’s perfectly happy, and in excellent health for her age.

Makes you throw tantrums?!

Yes I would say you need therapy if anything in your adult life makes you do that.

OP I understand, you sound a lot like me. I did start (a couple of times!) and then I drift away from it. A couple of things recently reminded me why I should be doing it; one was seeing an older lady step off a kerb and lose her balance in a little dip in the road, the other was my husband breaking his ankle, and thankfully having enough upper body strength to raise and lower himself in and out of the bath with his plastered leg hanging out of the water - I wouldn't have that level of strength and would need more help. However, I've yet to get myself back into the routine of it. I do find I'm more motivated to do the weights after a 'fun' exercise like dance class or after a long walk.

I was like you. Everything. Size 10. Slim but not that toned. Deep hatred of sports and gym environment. But then I got into a few things like Les Mills body combat, swimming, Pilates. And now one of my favourite things is weights. I’m often the slowest, usually the oldest. Can’t do everything but I enjoy it and am more toned than I’ve ever been and many years post menopause smaller than I’ve ever been and a size 8. I just fit it around my life but any whiff of competitive exercise and I’m out.

I love cardio and find lifting weights boring as hell. But I like having muscle definition without flexing so I push through. Do it for vanity😎

Have you never experienced perimenopause? Sometimes a light gust of wind makes me have a tantrum these days.

@beewaspflyI could have written this. You’re supposed to find an exercise you like, I have tried lots over the years. I hate everything and I am worried about becoming a weak old lady (I’m 58). Also HATED PE and am rubbish at sports uncoordinated and clumsy.

You are the wrong side of 40 - so you're in the 'still getting away with it' stage.

I've exercised all my life.

I'm the wrong side of 60 and I feel the strength and vigour in my body slowly waning despite everything I have ever done and do.

Getting it back becomes near impossible (or at least MUCH harder). I cannot imagine how near impossible it must be at 60 to get strong if you have never done anything.

I cannot imagine how it would feel to get to my stage and be at that moment when one day it is hard to get out of an armchair and thinking, 'Fuck me, I did absolutely nothing to prevent this and now I'm weak, vulnerable and it's too late to do anything about it'.

A 10 minute daily routine of press ups, squats, tricep dips and that sort of shit. You could do most of it in your pyjamas while you wait for the kettle to boil.

Or don't do it and live with the consequences and turn a deaf ear to all the stuff you don't want to hear.

I hate it too, for similar reasons by the sounds of it. I try to cycle twice a week and other than that seem to spend a lot of time picking up three children weighing between 10 and 22kg each. Will that do?! I don't think I can fit in more, the thought makes me want to cry.

You do you. Its your life.

My in laws both come from good genes - long lived families who have lived independently into their 90s.

They are both early 80s. They don't do any formal exercise, but they walk the dog a lot, on beaches and uneven paths not just round the block. They garden, a big garden with hedges and lots of clearing stuff to the tip, do their own cleaning (big house lots of stairs to vacuum), get up ladders to clean their the windows, carry heavy bags of shopping back from the shops. They are very physically active still.

I was fitted with a pacemsker 8 years ago and am anticipating a battery change in the autumn.

I have recently found walking any distance very taxing, lots of stops and sit downs and DH was very concerned as he felt my annual PM check with a cardiology technician was too superficial and something was being missed.

So he arranged for me to see a consultant privately and have the tests he advised. £1,000 please Mr TrickyD.

It seems that all is more or less well with my heart but I need to build my fitness. At least two walks a day increasing distance and pace.

A horrible recommendation as I hate walking. But it seems mad to spend that money and ignore the advice.

So two walks a day it is.

DS1 gave me some ‘Sketchers Slipons’ for my 82nd birthday last week and I am forced to admit they make walking easier and more comfortable and I am increasing pace and distance.

Annual technician’s PM check tomorrow when I hope I will be given a date for the battery change.

Meanwhile I have to ‘keep on walking’ Felix-style.

That’s great for her. My gran spends 18 hours a day in bed and doesn’t know my name any more. Before that hospital stay she was out catching the bus every day, meeting friends, doing her own shopping, she would call me on the phone every week to chat, she could use WhatsApp. Within six months of that hospital stay, during which her cognitive ability absolutely plummeted, she needed to move into a care home as she had several more fall. She repeatedly tells my dad she wants to die and that she’s had enough of being alive. She can’t move around without a walker and a carer beside her.

No thanks.

I hear you @beewaspfly, I'm the same - don't especially enjoy organised exercise and have zero time to do it, but need to get my arse in gear somehow!

I have decided that I'll start with what I enjoy - I have bought some headphones so I can dance around the house with the music on LOUD - and I'm going to try and get myself to walk more. And garden.

The thought of being incapacitated when I'm old is terrifying, but somehow not terrifying enough to spur me into activity...oh for the days when I had a physical job (or when we all had more physical jobs back in the day) and exercise would just happen...our forebears must look incredulously at us having to pay to go to they gym or buy Pilates classes...I doubt there were many of either a few generations ago...

That's a good idea 💡