AIBU to say no to a sleepover at age nine?

[ToastofLandon]

My daughter was invited to a sleepover party, they’re 9. My kid is a v young 9 year old. I said no, I don’t know the parents v well, there’s an older brother. They’re nice enough but I just don’t feel happy about doing it yet.

They just seem so vulnerable still at 9 but dunno if I’m being unreasonable and if my fears are unfounded. Interested in what others think and what age you started.

that's not educating your children to be safe, that's being dangerously anxious and damaging their mental health.

Some posters are frightening on here.

I don't know how the stats on CSA will have changed by the time these kids hit adulthood but I do know that a lot of kids are going to be looking back at a grey, anxiety filled childhood as everything fun is stripped out. No wonder they want to waste their life away on social media, it's the only place their mothers aren't breathing down their necks.

Having a lock on your door is dangerously anxious? That's an interesting viewpoint. If I'd said, install cameras covering every inch of the house that I can access at any time and a tripwire with an alarm should someone enter the kids' bedroom, then yeah. Fair enough.

A small bolt at the bottom of the door - seems like probably the absolute bare minimum a parent should be doing to protect their child from being drugged and/or abused.

Unfortunately, some are still trying to live in a world where "it doesn't happen here" but it does happen here. It happens everywhere and it's usually someone you know. Please take minimum precautions to protect your children.

Jesus christ, only suggested a lock and apparently that's outrageous. This is why people say no to sleepovers. Fear of being gaslit by others when asking for basic security measures. We need to normalise this so paedophiles have less access. Being 'polite' and not wanting to cause a fuss is a huge part of how and why they get away with it. Ask for security! Normalise talking about it! Ignore the gaslighters!

Realistically though are you going to check the host kid’s bedroom for a bolt before you agree? And then assume that host kid will bolt it? And then hope there isn’t a fire? Because doors that are bolted on the inside are incredibly dangerous in a house fire.

Giving your kid strategies to remove themselves from situations and getting them to recognise those spidey senses seem far more sensible to me.

Having neurotic parents will cause children more harm then letting them learn by instinct and to trust their own judgement

How many more mental health issues do parents need to put on children before they realise what harm is being done

If you are genuine which I fear you might be, I sincerely hope you have no children.

Two daughters of a friend of mine were sexually abused when sleeping over at someone’s house, by the dad. It all came out about ten years later , when the older daughter, by then an older teen, told her parents. The man admitted it and he ended up in prison (he also abused them on other occasions).
It’s not worth the risk for a few hours of hoped-for fun and excitement

A family walking to school got hit by a speeding car, so I withdrew my child from school and now we never walk anywhere. The driver was injured too so we don't drive either.

That's how you sound.