I’ve been accused of stealing £20

[letmeletgo]

I babysat for a family member at the weekend. One of the kids had to go to an extracurricular and there was £100 on the side for tickets to a show - I was asked to hand it over to the child’s lift.

I did, went about my day. The tickets weren’t available for purchase and I was handed back the cash. I put it back on the side for said family member and that was the end of it.

It’s now come about that £20 of the cash is missing. I’ve received a message to ask if I know anything about it because they think it’s quite suspicious that I got a takeaway while babysitting and now £20 is missing. I paid for the takeaway by card and showed them that, it seems to have quieted them down a little but it’s really annoyed me. I’m not a thief. Never have been, never would be.

AIBU to say if they have that little trust in me, I’ll not babysit again?

She hasnt said they responded in fact she said after she replied ‘they went quiet’ so I’d assume she sent it as proof along with her answer. But it wasn’t asked for.

So you were kind enough to babysit two young kids for free and the cheeky fuckers accused you of stealing £20!

Tell them to get lost absolute arseholes!

That’s different though, isn’t it.

This! Never again. And unless they are family or friends that you have a baby sitting circle with, don't sit for free. Good thing you paid by card. I hope they are embarrassed.

They will lose a lot more than £20 if they lose their free babysitter! I’m horrified that they didn’t sort out dinner for you or leave you money for a takeaway anyway. If my sister babysits I do that and leave her treats.

So, so rude for them to not provide food for you when you were working a literal 10 hour shift!

What family member? Your mums sister? Dad's sister? They should advocate for you.

You babysat for 13 hours and then got asked whether you took £20. I would never babysit again.

As well as not paying you, did they not provide food for you while you were babysitting?

“Did you take some of my money?” constitutes an accusation.

They absolutely can. We can’t leave anything a round as it becomes my 5 year olds treasure!

Perhaps someone has suggested this above but I'd be SO upset if this exact scenario had happened to me and I'd definitely be messaging the family member to say that X&Y were so well behaved as usual but you looked after them out of kindness for hours, bought your own meal, dealt with the other parent only to be accused of taking some of the money they left! You would never do that and won't be sitting again if that's how they think of you.

Converse happened to us years ago where a young family member did take some money from a pile a friend had left on the side. The friend chose not to mention it and handled it amazingly when the child tearfully confessed the next summer and gave the equivalent back. Such a lesson was learned by all from the way this friend handled it with zero accusations, even though he probably did think one of the other adults had used it.

I mean, I think I'd be saying to the family: "You're not accusing me of stealing, right?"

I wonder if they're the sort that would also get angry OP hadn't counted the money when it was returned and blame her if the £20 was missing.

It's very clear from the OP's posts there were 2 children, the 5 year old who went out for a bit with the lift giving mum who took the money, and the 2 year old who stayed behind with OP. Why on earth should she have to hand over the money to the parents (at 1 in the morning when they returned), when she has left it exactly where they left it?

Lots of things could have happend to it - given that you babaysat for free and have offered proof you paid for your own takeaway - ( they could have offered that to you ) - and they flet ablt to accuse you - I would never babysit for them again.

Not to be nasty of to take offense but to protect yourself - they will clearly wonder if anything went missing in the future.

I have family who've done similar making 2+2= 5 and even with proof being very relucant to stop thinking that way and often forgetting the proof over the years but remembering the accusation.

I hope you have told them their free babysitting service is no longer available OP 😂

I can’t believe the cheek of them!

Yes, asking if OP used it for a takeaway is accusing her. Otherwise they would not have asked. The fact they let her do a 13 hour babysitting shift for a toddler and 5 year old, and did not offer to cover the cost of the takeaway at least, is astounding. I can’t get over the entitlement.

You've basically been accused of stealing £20. You don't get paid for babysitting. WTAF are you THINKING about?
Next time they ask, tell them you
a) want an apology and b) charge the going rate for babysitting in future.

Or tell them to 'go forth and multiply', which would be my choice.

If they wouldn't care if OP had used the cash, they could have said something like:

“You gave £100 to X’s mum yesterday, we’ve counted this morning and there’s only £80 there. Did you use it for your takeaway? No problem at all if you did, we're just trying to find out what happened to the missing £20.”

They've cut off their noses to spite their faces as OP certainly won't be babysitting for them in future.

I used to clean an office they were MESSY my orders were to clean around it so I did for months then they misplaced a passport accused me of taking it obviously I didn't so I said I wouldn't clean it again I had the supervisor in on my last shift who was appalled at the mess and I left they have struggled to find someone to take it on full time most are dipping after the first week apparently they found the passport not in the office never apologised

Yeah, exactly this - they could have asked in a less accusatory manner! But frankly, I think it's pretty rude of them not to have blooming well left you money for a takeaway while you were there for all that time! Even if I thought you'd taken it to pay for a takeaway, I'd be more mortified that I hadn't paid for it in the first place!

Unless they bring it up again, I wouldn’t say anything else about it. If they ask you to babysit again, “of course you would love to help, but I’m busy rearranging my wardrobe/washing my hair/grooming the cat/going out/babysitting for someone else and getting £20 and a takeaway.” Pick whichever lame excuse you want, but I wouldn’t babysit for them again, cos someone is light fingered, if it’s not you, it could even be your family member and not the friend.

Once you know for sure that you'll automatically get the blame it's time to bin.

When they ask you to babysit again, tell them you don't appreciate being accused of stealing and it's probably better they find another babysitter.

To avoid the very issue that has prevailed.
100 left. If not in a sealed envelope I would have counted it. Just to be sure.
100 back to you in your hand.

As does "you gave xxx £100"

I don't know why people get so up in arms about being asked this sort of question. There was that similar thread recently with the engagement ring and the work man. If something goes missing from your home without explanation, you question the people who have come and gone on its whereabouts. And it's completely natural to have suspicions of less familiar people who have been in the home and who don't live there.

It doesn't sound like they are accusing you. It sounds like they are asking questions to work out where it went. Short of a message saying 'how dare you steal from us? we know you have taken that money', you don't need to get so offended.

If I had been babysitting or cleaning or petsitting etc in someone else's house and some cash went missing, I would definitely expect to be questioned about it and I don't think that's unnecessary.

The non-payment for babysitting and a takeaway are a separate issue, but you haven't really gone into details on that.