I’ve been accused of stealing £20

[letmeletgo]

I babysat for a family member at the weekend. One of the kids had to go to an extracurricular and there was £100 on the side for tickets to a show - I was asked to hand it over to the child’s lift.

I did, went about my day. The tickets weren’t available for purchase and I was handed back the cash. I put it back on the side for said family member and that was the end of it.

It’s now come about that £20 of the cash is missing. I’ve received a message to ask if I know anything about it because they think it’s quite suspicious that I got a takeaway while babysitting and now £20 is missing. I paid for the takeaway by card and showed them that, it seems to have quieted them down a little but it’s really annoyed me. I’m not a thief. Never have been, never would be.

AIBU to say if they have that little trust in me, I’ll not babysit again?

I’d be surprised to read this but wouldn’t take is as an accusation. More a clumsy enquiry that maybe you’d used it ( as had no card etc on the night ) but forgotten to mention you’d done so.
its also a learning curve to always count cash in front of people - no one should be offended and it covers you. It’s what we would have all have done automatically when cash was more commonly used rather than cards. Definitely should have counted the cash back into the hand of the parents that you were babysitting for.

That's awful I wouldn't even speak to someone again that used those words to me.

The absolute gall of these CFs.
next time they can pay £12-15 ph for a babysitter, cheeky bastards.

Nothing shocks me quite as much as the speed with which people accuse others of stealing. They see disgusting - they had no proof but went ahead with accusing you anyway. Never babysit for them again.

It’s 100% an accusation

Is it possible they were just checking with you before they asked the other parent. That they wouldn’t have cared if you’d used the cash but didn’t want to ask the other parent without checking it really was £20 short.

They’ll regret the false accusation when you’re no longer available to babysit for free 🙂

It is an accusation! “Did you take some to pay for your takeaway?” Is a direct accusation.

Are they accusing you or just asking you, as I think there’s a big difference

I agree. I had a very close relative staying and had left a tenner on the dresser in the hall, couldn't find it when I came to look. Asked my relative if they'd picked it up before investigating further. I wouldn't have minded if he'd needed it for something or other and would certainly have intended to give it back. He might just have forgotten to say anything. I certainly wasn't accusing him of theft.
He hadn't but my husband had. I didn't accuse him of thieving either.

For the sake of £20, I probably wouldn't have said anything, but if I was determined to get to the bottom of the mystery, I would have made it absolutely clear that I wasn't accusing my free babysitter, rather than wording my question in such a way that it could be interpreted as an accusation.

Considering it was for their child to attend an event, I doubt they would miscount £20.

It is an accusation! “Did you take some to pay for your takeaway?” Is a direct accusation

It's a question. Although I grant it could feel like an accusation even if not intended as such.

No that’s a question.

If they had said you must have taken some to pay for your takeaway - that would be an accusation.

If they're willing to alienate someone who babysat for free for a 2 year old and 5 year old fo 13 hours over £20 then they are absolute gold plated morons.

I presume that quite a bit of thought went into drafting the message and the 'for your takeaway' bit was probably (I would hope) added to soften the tone - an item everyone could agree was a reasonable expense.

If I had been the parents, pretty sure I could have come up with something a bit less accusatory. Maybe "did you count the money when Kath gave it back to you?"

I’d not be babysitting for them - ever again

Many takeaways only accept cash on delivery.

They are £20 down, you had takeaway and only you and the other parent handled the money.

So it’s reasonable to ask you first if you needed it for the takeaway before accusing the other person.

Cheapskates. At the very least they should be paying £10/hour for babysitting and leaving food for you. I used to pay £15/hour and leave biscuits and snacks just for an evening sit.
Don’t sit for them again. CFs

So true! This should have cost them at least £200 in babysitting fees and they didn’t even leave food or money for a takeaway for OP? And they are family? And then they accused you of stealing £20? Mumsnet just confirms to me over and over that people are awful. Humanity (including myself) is in need of redemption!! We can behave so terribly at times!

13 hours and they didn’t even provide you with food???

and then accused you of taking money?

This is cheeky fuckery to the n’th degree

was it your sister?

I’d be very hurt by this. Why are they blaming you for the loss of the £20 and not the child’s lift??

No good deed goes unpunished, it seems.

sounds a good excuse to say no to any further requests though

I do lots of childcare for my DGC . Wouldn’t dream of taking money but would be seriously pissed off if there was nothing for me to eat !!

exactly.

They just wanted to be sure before then asking their kids.

The Op appears to have taken this as a gross accusation.