AIBU to expect DH home before midnight

[ThatPithyZebra]

Objective opinions appreciated.

AIBU to expect DH home before midnight when he sees friends? Friend group meeting up and he will see them for at least 8 hours if he comes home earlier. I'm a SAHM and we have 2 kids under 2. He feels seeing friends for less than 3/4h is pointless. Once kids are asleep it's easy but it would be nice as it can disrupt our sleep as we are cosleeping too. I am self aware and realise part of my need is wanting to spend maybe 30 mins chatting to him before bed. Otherwise I won't see him until the next day, which is a work day.

Her husband is by not being able to manage to cope with his own little children.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. Going out for 8 hours once a week when you have a 3 month old is mad. Is your husband cosleeping too as that would be dangerous if he's drinking? If you're exclusively breastfeeding your husband should be stepping in and taking the kids in the short windows you're not feeding them to give you a much needed break. Really sorry you're in this position.

I don’t think the return time would bother me but once a week is a lot given your situation. I think that’s a bit of a pisstake.

He will never learn to cope if he never has them. No one is expecting the main carer to suddenly disappear for an entire weekend, but they start by going for 1 hour or 2 and build it.

What is it to "cope with" anyway? You just get on with it. Babies don't come with a manual and women don't know more than men. They just do because they have to. So do men when the mum is unavailable.

That's the thing She has 2 children. If she's not working how comes she doesn't have " mummy friends" from the first one

I see you didn’t read the thread. Her husband is stopping her.

8 hours with friends is excessive, 2 or at the most 3 hours should be enough- why is he so much keener to see friends than his wife and family?

She said the few friends she tried making weren't very reliable at meeting up, not sure if she want to 'mummy' groups but her baby wasn't that old when she got pregnant again and perhaps she was exhausted.

Either way, it's not uncommon for new mothers to be isolated, and some will isolate themselves by choice because they prefer the family bubble, she's not trying to talk to him 24/7 and it's perfectly reasonable to want to chat to your husband every night.

surely of you're cosleepingvyoure in bed long before midnight so any time is a disruption? od be more concerned with how drunk he is if you cosleep. if he's drinking, he needs to sleep on the sofa

is it too much because 3 months old needs breastfeeding lots or because his penis incapacitates him from doing what you do for hours on end every single day? does he have a disability that means it's particularly difficult? it's not meant to be easy, but it is his kids and his job to care for them!

because not every one finds it easy to make mommy friends!! I did NCT so had a built in friendship group for the first year or so, but general play groups can be hard to make friends at, those structures activity ones near impossible to make friends at, eldest isn't at nursery or school yet

Wow are we attacking a mum of 2 young dc for not having enough friends now?