To say I don't have time for work this week ?

[Fluffiest9087]

This week inbetween my 50 hour working week i have:
dentist appt for me
Oncology telephone appt
Water plants for sister who is away. I'll need to go to hers every other day. She's a 15 minute drive each way
Have roots done - the only appt I could get for 8 weeks
Take DC1 to an appt in the day - 1 hour drive each way
PT every day (5am)
DC2 has dentist appt
DC2 has hospital

... how the hell am I going to fit in work ?!

With all that running around, do you really need daily PT sessions?

Why are people saying you are entitled to time off for medical appointment? You are not. Unless your employer has chosen to write that into your contract which is unlikely. There is no entitlement for that

You’re going to burn yourself out with all this madness. I say this as someone diagnosed with cancer after a very stressful time in my life (I do believe stress is a factor). Since my treatment I’ve changed my life to lower stress.

So, PT at 5am every day is too much even if you enjoy it. You need rest days and more sleep if you work 50 hours a week.

Keep the hair appointment. It’s unfortunate that all the other appointments have come through on the same week. I think you need to look at booking a few days off to cover them all. Your DH needs to find ways to help too. This is unsustainable going forward.

I hope to balance out the votes - YANBU @Fluffiest9087 and I hope you managed to sleep with this week ahead of you!

I read it this way: You are probably trying to rebuild your career/evidence you have still got what it takes after your cancer treatment - I hope you have private medical cover with the job and your manager can make some allowances.

Appointments like Oncology and Dentist are take what you’re given due to NHS and even private availability.

DC appointments are rarely negotiable.

I realise you want to look and feel your best self = PT and roots are important (I pay a deposit to secure a hair appointment so I know you can’t just cancel that and buy a box of hair dye!) - these might also be the things that get you through this week.

You are doing your sister the favour of watering her plants because you promised and so you can ask favours in return.

I wish you luck and the strength to get there - I hope you can do things like water the plants on your way out/back from somewhere else so you have fewer trips.

Prioritise early nights and sleep. Give yourself a big reward at the end of the week.

PTs are around £40-£50 per hour. Are you really spending £200 plus a week on PT? Maybe if you cut some of those sessions down you wouldn’t need to work 50 hours a week (which is unhealthy).

There are some really weird and nasty posts on this thread.

Some of you don’t seem to get it that people with senior professional jobs can work 50 hours a week (all our contracts have an opt out of the WTD).

These jobs are often highly paid which means the OP is entitled to spend her hard earned salary on PT and hair if she wants.

At the same time these jobs can feel overwhelming when you have loads of personal stuff and appointments in a week which is completely valid. I’ve felt similar to the OP many times. But do you know what - we manage. The OP despite having had cancer is likely extremely smart and capable, and capable of holding down a demanding career (unlike many of those on this thread who have been snarky about her hours etc).

I see one of your appts is oncology; hope you are ok, OP

Thank goodness for WFH! I assume that’s the only way you can fit that all in?

Many people I know are the same. I have opticians, 2x coffee dates, weekend away to pack for and a major charity event to plan this week as well as work a full week 🤣

Sorry it was more sympathy than snarky. You do have to really look after yourself after going through cancer treatment. I jumped straight back in to a stressful job and juggling everything and it just wasn’t healthy for me.

The people pleasing (watering the sisters plants), the doing everything (DH is incompetent), working all the hours, then trying to squeeze in the exercise for your sanity on top of it all.

I’m coming from a place of sympathy rather than criticism. The body does often end up saying no in the end though…that is why I advise just trying to take a few days annual leave and looking after yourself.

Sorry but your husband needs to also help out, don’t make excuses for him, it shouldn’t be all on you.

“Oncology.”

I will be in the very small minority here. Do NOT tell your job you don’t have time for them unless you are aiming to be jobless. Seriously. They DO NOT CARE. They are a business. Business don’t even give a half a damn about your private life. If you believe you need to take a week off, take it. Unpaid if necessary. You don’t need to say why. It would be great if you could find someone to pitch in and help you. Otherwise, do what you need to do with the understanding that there will be consequences.

Yeah I missed that!

You're not entitled to paid time off for medical appointments - you either take leave or you make the time up.

Admittedly you don't always have a lot of control about medical/ dental appointments but you do have to wonder if op could have avoided scheduling so many appointments in the same week.

As for having her roots done - well words fail me. Surely she expected to book time off for that?

5am PT every single day is an unnecessary lifestyle choice you’re making which you could easily elect to ditch if you say you feel overwhelmed 🤷‍♀️

Electing to do that + working 50hr weeks whilst with cancer is pure MADNESS.

You care about your roots, but you’re being irresponsible in other aspects of health & self-care.

I knew it wouldn’t take long before the ‘work is the priority’ and ‘get a box dye’ brigade were out. Work isn’t the priority, living life is. No matter how much you love your job. Unfortunately, many of us have to suffer the inconvenience of work in order to pay for the living! I hear you, OP. I do use flexi for my hair sometimes but I never take AL for medical appointments. I admire your dedication to your PT and send solidarity (but no helpful advice!)

It always falls at one time.

Can you work over the weekend to make up for it?

Your DH can do half of those things - he can water the plants and take DC to their appointments at least.

That only leaves your appointments - hair, PT and doctors which will hopefully all be positive experiences.

I hear you, but there's no point giving yourself TLC in that way if you're knackered from
everything else.

Reschedule the hair, and tbh if the dentists appts are just check ups I'd reschedule those too. Alternate PT days with plant watering days.

So could DH handle the plants? The telephone apt will only be 10mins.

Im not understanding why DCs dental appt isnt same day, next appt to yours?

You could take some leave.

I'd only water the plants every 2 days. So I'd water Monday and then again Thursday. Its not meant to be a hot week - if you drench them they will be fine!

Move the hair and dentist appointments to another week.

Fuck off the PT for half the week.

Oncology - cancer leave??

What are you trying to prove here? You sound like every other human on the planet, we all have priorities and things we need to do.
doesn’t SIL have a neighbour who doesn’t need to drive 30 mins to water plants? Also plants do not need to be watered every other day but weekly is fine.
Daily PT is ridiculous, stop trying to show off about your life. We are all in the same boat and have to prioritise our lives around work.

Can you reschedule your dentist appointment unless it’s urgent it probably is ok to be pushed back a few days. If you call in advance, it’s normally fine. With the plants I would just do this once in the week. If your sister does a water just before she goes it would be more than fine to have just one watering session. If she wants more she should hire a gardener or ask her neighbour.

Telephone appointment hopefully will be fast. Just step away from work and I reckon I’d just not make a huge deal. Keep your phone on you.

Keep the other appointments including the hair.

If your husband won’t step up then maybe it’s time to think about all that too. Maybe the following week.

Your week sounds really busy. Good luck!

PT at 5am everyday? That’s crazy! Prioritise your sleep. Sleep is as critical to your health as breathing, eating, and drinking.
https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about/index.html

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/publications/sleep-matters-impact-sleep-health-and-wellbeing

You’re at risk of burnout getting up at god knows what time to get ready for your PT session 5 days a week. Do you go to the gym? How long is the drive / walk there? You work 50 hours a week and have kids to look after. Getting my roots done would be the last thing I would care about. Grow it out and go natural.

Would it help if the thread awarded you a medal for "mum of the year"? 🙄