Feel sick with stress about social services, how likely is this?

[Mum2019mum]

Long story short, last Wednesday DC age 2.5 was off nursery to see GP. Routine thing and not unwell. It was too late to go back to nursery so I took them for ice cream as it was hot and to the park. When I stopped to post a parcel on the way back, they went absolutely crazy in the post office. Said they wanted sweets and I said no as had ice cream already etc etc. Screaming on the floor, refusing to get up. I was so stressed and embarrassed. Each time I tried to hold their hand they screamed that it hurt. After around 10 mins I lifted them to the car and they were kicking me. When I got then
into car seat they whacked my neck with their shoe (as in took it off and hit me), I took the shoes off them and they started pulling my hair, it was just awful.

Anyway, getting to the point… I was trying to
strap them in and they picked up the shoe next to them to which I thought they were going to hit me again so I whacked their arm back, I wasn’t even really thinking, it was just a horrendous moment. DC screamed and this women next to getting in her car muttered about it being disgraceful. She then stopped as she drove off and I am pretty sure she was taking a photo of the car. What will I do if she reports me? I feel sick with stress. I know I shouldn’t have reacted but it was instinctive. No mark or anything on dc so I hadn’t harmed them but obviously none of it was great. I feel sick with stress wondering if they will turn up to the house and force entry.

It sounds like you reacted in the moment - and given her awful behaviour I don't think anyone with a modicum of compassion would berate you!

Certainly I can't see SS being overly concerned if that woman reported what actually happened.

I honestly wouldn't think any more of it - easier said than done I know.

@BMW58 thanks for being so understanding. I’m just mortified it happened. What will happen if they are called? Will they want to search the house etc. I have general anxiety anyway and I do everything by the book so this fuck up I’ve made has really got to me.

Honestly don't worry! Social services wouldn't be getting your address from the DVLA. Also, whilst not great, a one-off mild incident is really not likely to reach social services threshold. If they did get a report for something like this, and were concerned, they would phone you first anyway, not just force entry.

What you are describing (getting your address from DVLA, forcing entry to your home) is how the police would respond to a serious crime, which this isn't.

I know how hard this is, when you go over it in your mind, but try to forget about this.

OP - IF SS are involved, they are unlikely to do anything. You were clearly in a high stress situation, and were keeping your child safe. This is not a situation where SS would intervene and escalate.

Social services won’t give a fuck about this. It was a momentary loss of composure and there are no injuries to your kids.
IF and that’s a big IF you are reported they will likely call you to talk over what happened and give words of advice around how to prevent this situation escalating again.
Atvthe worst they will ask school/nursery to check in with your kids and if there are any unusual bruises, or come and see them themselves. This is extremely unlikely though.
Nobody is coming to take your kids, search your house or do anything of the sort, don’t worry

@BendingSpoons would they just ask about the incident? I’ve read they can get the details from DVLA. I would obviously be honest with them just feel so anxious about it. I’m a lone parent so feel sick that my child would be taken to strangers

How can she report you with no name and address?

SS aren't going to be bothered enough about this to get a search done involving the police.

@Grapewrath i didn’t think they could ignore a report though I thought they had to follow it up. Would I have to disclose this to work too? Is it like a criminal record

@INX apparently SS can get details from DVLA

Something similar in my family - I won't go into details but it was along the same lines and someone did call SS.

SS called the parent who had the opportunity to explain the incident. SS were satisfied and said no further action.

Please don't stress yourself OP it was an isolated incident and you will be forever more aware of your own reaction when children are playing up.

X

No they don't have to follow up every report.

They'd be so busy they'd grind to a complete halt.

Calm Down respectfully.
They won’t ignore it, they will call you to ensure you are all ok and to see if you need any extra support.
There is no crime, so no criminal record. No need to report it to work

No SS cannot.

They'd have to get the police to do that and they're not going to take up officer's time and resources over this very minor incident, that has absolutely no proof it ever even happened.

@Shelleyblueeyes was this a report via a car registration then? I will be completely honest if they call, I really didn’t know what to do in that moment and thought they were going to hit me again. Urgh so stressful.

@INX oh I thought they could get it directly from DVLA I didn’t know it had to go through police. I feel a bit better in that case as I definitely don’t think the interaction was police worthy..!

No and unless this woman videoed it (which is extremely unlikely) there are no witnesses either.

Sorry to be that person- curious why you refer to your child constantly with they/ them pronouns? Makes for a strange read...

Why did you hit her though? That's not ok.

If you cannot control your temper around her then you do need some serious help.

OP you sound like you're spiralling really badly. Do you have anyone calming you can chat to in real life? 90% of people of people on here will tell you this is an utter non event and to move on but you'll get some nonsense responses too which will make you feel worse. Your anxiety is jumping off the screen. Are you having treatment for it? X

@AutumnAllTheWay i was trying to protect privacy but that ship has probably sailed anyway with the detail!

@Evaka yes I am in therapy for it x

@WallaceinAnderland i thought they were about to whack me again so I think I was pre empting it and pushed their arm back with more force than I would usually

Glad, hope you've some good tools and tricks to try and get this situation in perspective. Hugs x

I'm a social worker op the most that would happen I would have thought would be a triage phone call and that is unlikely also SS can't force entry we would have to call the police which would not happen with this kind of report

Well you haven’t left a mark, so in England you did nothing illegal for SS to be concerned about