You meet the one. They're perfect for you. Then youve got the ick so badly you eant to set fire to yourself. What petty thing did they do?? 👀

[mumofoneAloneandwell]

Eaten tuna 🤢

Monstrous food eaten by those with poor morals.

😃😃😆

Not as good as some of these but one guy turned up to take me out for dinner at a posh restaurant wearing shorts, a roadrunner t-shirt, sandals with socks 😮and a baseball cap.

I refused to go with him.

This was in the late 80's and I was living in a rented flat above where I worked. The bedroom had a bath and a basin in it, but the shared toilet was down one flight of stairs. He was staying over after we slept together and got up in the night and pee'd in the hand basin 😵‍💫 More recently, I was dating a man I'd met at work . He was obsessed with sex and watched porn every day to get himself off. I was very disappointed to find he had a small, thin penis and couldn't get an erection. He'd apparently asked the doctor for some viagra , but then decided not to use it 😒

I’ve been feeling a bit down recently about my single status and this thread is the first thing that’s made me laugh out loud for ages - some of these are hilarious.

The poo stained huge vibrator is winning so far!

Do you think many of these folk go on to find their soulmate in spite of their ‘shortcomings’ ?

Im far from perfect myself, but I thought that maybe I was too fussy but going by this thread it appears I’m not alone 🤣

During online dating one guy sent me a photo of the wooden (😬) dildo he had made himself and said he wanted to use on me. It looked like a giant honey stirrer.

Another asked if I ‘liked water sports’ and he didn’t mean the kind that involved things like canoes or swimming costumes….

There used to be a young man who lived across the street from me. One afternoon I was gardening and heard the sound of a powerful remote control car probably a few streets away getting closer and louder but never arriving. It went on for three and a half hours. It was the bloke over the road, in his bedroom, by himself and still not arriving.
(Apparently MCAT does that to men).
He took a break to get a can of pop from the shop, returned home and took up where he left off for another hour. Never came.
I can't hear a RCC now without having flashbacks

He was a young Tom Cruise look-alike.
Worst kisser ever. Very slobbery.
It was bad.

Showed off about his Dad’s sports car (we were early 20s)

Another one kept writing poetry and sending bits of sea glass and then when I ran out of things to say, he said it was obvious I hadn’t appreciated it.

One man played the piano at me for ages and stared at me the whole time, I think with the aim of being soulful. It was SO embarrassing.

Suggested cooking together. Awful.

Oh God, i’d have been gone, instantaneously. Literally i’d have said, sorry but I don’t think we cannot past this so let’s not waste each others time. Hate hate hate that man.

I really hope this wasn’t a soldier with ptsd

Ha! I know where you got that one from! 👀😂

I was thinking this I must admit

I was in a first date with a guy at a new bar opening. He asked me what I would like to drink and then took his purse out of his pocket to pay and counted out the coins. He was actually a nice guy but I couldn’t see beyond the purse.

Cocaine? He wouldn't need a long pinky nail for guitar, I think.

In any case, long finger or toe nails on a man are just 🤢. That'd be the end of it for me. 🙄

I always thought it was something to do with playing the guitar!

This is way too much for 1 woman to endure.

Can you get a friend to vet your next date please?

Literally got so drunk he couldn’t walk and shit himself. Paramedics came to my house with him and had to explain he’d been found at the end of the street in that state. When they went he tried to sit on the couch. I had to stop him tell him repeatedly to take his clothes off to clean himself 🤮
This was in my twenties and I stayed with him for about another month! Idiot me!

He’d lost part of his index finger in an accident and he pushed a CD into a CD player with his finger stub. A week later it was over - I just couldn’t get past it. 😁

This happened in Brazil. I had a habit of falling in love with deeply flawed men, so was making a real effort to raise my game. This guy was good-looking, upbeat, charming and rich. Invited me to his beautiful house overlooking a beach. While draping myself languidly around the living room, I picked up a magazine from the nicely-arranged stack on a coffee table.

The entire stack was of SEXO ANAL. It was a popular newsstand monthly at the time, but a whole stack? Trying to gauge how bad this was, I casually went to the bathroom so I could snoop at his other reading matter. There was a shelf of SEXO ANAL, chronologically ordered, in the hallway.

I made an excuse and went home.

A thread never to be forgotten😆

Asparagus cup of soup is green. Have you seen it?

She didn’t say it was the “normal male bodily function” that was the issue.

Green ejaculate would indicate illness to me. Hence the ick.

I feel like you are being contrary just for the sake of it.

We've been together almost 20 years and yes it's been there the whole time.

Maybe it had croutons 😃

20 years together.

Oh dear. My Australian husband has one. And an Akubra. Is this really a dumping offence?