AIBU to worry that bringing chocolates to an interview was inappropriate?

[Thebigwideworld]

I think I’ve messed up the biggest opportunity I’ve ever had and cannot stop overthinking it and worrying about it😢

im in the process of getting a trainee/graduate position sorted for after graduation. Some firms are really popular and sought after and notoriously difficult to get a position in. I’ve got to the final interview stage at my absolute number 1 choice. I already interviewed online and passed the initial stages (including a group session which wasn’t hosted at the firm itself) and the last stage was an in person interview at the firm and also for them to show you round and meet different people for the day.

I don’t know why I thought it was the done-thing to do, but I brought chocolates for them to say thank you for having me for the afternoon. It was a large box of Belgian chocolates from m&s. I just sort of thought there was a lot of people giving up their time to show me round, chat to me and interview and I just thought it was the sort of thing you did in this situation to say thank you! Sort of like last day of work experience when you bring gifts to thank people for giving up their time

I briefly mentioned it to my friends who were a bit like wtf, why would you do that, and a bit flabbergasted that I thought I should do it. They said I’m going to look like I’m trying to win them over and that it makes me look immature and really unaware for doing it for not realising it’s all just an interview and they’re not showing me round out the good of their heart

I think it just sort of left me that it was all a big giant interview process and I just thought hey, they’re giving up their time to meet me and show me stuff, I’ll get them a little thing to say thank you because that’s what you’re supposed to do?! But I sort of lost sight that them showing me round and all the people meeting me were all just part of the interview process, and now I’ve made myself look like a complete idiot

just so as to not drop feed, I didn’t grow up with parents and had to teach myself a lot of stuff like this, especially social situations and formal work stuff. It’s all completely new to me and I don’t have anyone to go back to and ask for advice unfortunately.

i really wanted this position, and now im worried sick I’ve blown it and made myself look stupid, or that I didn’t appreciate that it was all part of the interview process (which in turn makes me look stupid too). Does anyone work at a firm and could advise me if I’ve made myself look like a complete idiot?

thanks😢

Box of chocolates, not biscuits lol

It’s a bit strange but not enough to put them off if they were going to decide on you anyway.
I’m sure they know that you’d be aware that it would take more than a box of M&S chocs to bribe them.

Its unusual but there are worse things than someone being human.

I can understand the bribe perspective i principal but not actually reality. Its a small box of chocolates, hardly a corporate box at a stadium.

If it was a bribe, I think you'd need to follow up and make it clear 😆 "hey, er, just checking you, er...liked the chocolates? If you know what I mean? Nudge nudge 😉"

Honestly, it's fine, it's charming. Your friends are mean.

Hmm yes you’re right, no idea where I got biscuits from 🤔

I think you'll get the job! You sound lovely, personable and very enthusiastic

Hopefully you get it. Keep us posted 💐

The way you presented it for all the staff was nice, unusual but kind, I hope you get it, good luck!

You sound absolutely lovely and I so hope you get the job!

You should be incredibly proud of yourself OP. Please keep us updated. 🤞

Please do not worry. As others have said, this gesture shows only good intentions.

I think when you behave in a way that is slightly outside strict societal norms - provided it can only be interpreted as having positive intentions and does not risk making anyone feel uncomfortable- it can create a lasting impression. It shows authenticity, which is something that is rarer in today’s derivative and AI dampened world.

It's not the done thing, but I honestly wouldn't worry about it. It's not valuable enough to be considered a bribe. You've made clear that it's a gift to thank them all for their time which is really thoughtful, and I like that you acknowledge the receptionist as well as the people actually interviewing you. If anything I think it will make you stand out as someone who would be good to share a workplace with. I hope the actual interview went well too and you are successful.

I wouldn’t worry about it at all, the way you framed it especially was quite thoughtful, it wouldn’t have come across as a bribe.

You’ve done something nice and genuine. No harm in that. This wouldn’t sway me either way so don’t kick yourself or blame it on the chocolates if you don’t get the job.

They will not 'not' give you the job because of the chocolates so do not worry. Fingers crossed O.P x

I can’t believe you did that. 😬 I would be cringing right now if I were you.
Oh well, good luck OP. I hope they give you the job.

I agree with this. So much AI use is making everything so generic and you did something that was authentic which is exactly what we need in today’s world. So please don’t change. My first teaching placement I was nervously discussing impressing the head teacher with my very wise Gramps. He pointed out it was the janitor, the school secretary and the cleaners I should be trying to impress and if I always kept that in mind I would do well. He wasn’t wrong. Whatever job you get good luck for the future. All of MN are now routing for you.

Utter crap.no one is going to think a box of chocolates is a bribe FGS.

@Thebigwideworld it's a little unusual, but it sounds like you gave them to them in a sweet way. it will NOT affect whether you get the job ir nit. Interview processes are far more robust than that!

I'm sorry you grew up without parents. It sounds like you have done really well for yourself despite that. 🤗

please come back & let us know whether you got the job or not. If you don't get it, try not to take it too hard. Stay positive!!

…to say thanks to all the staff who spent time with me today

I think this is really thoughtful and would make you stand out to me in a positive way. I was a manager / recruiter in a big private firm for years and I’d have loved to have someone thoightful and considerate on my team. You’ve demonstrated positive personal qualities as well as showing you can do the job

Please don’t worry about this, and don’t change who you are

Massive well done on getting to the final stage!!

The top employers will usually state their values and the behaviours they are looking for from their employees. You've shown you are thoughtful and the fact you intended the chocs for cleaners and kitchen staff means youre thinking about the whole team, not just sucking up to the boss. There's a good chance you actually get a higher assessment score from demonstrating your values.

If you don't get the job, it will not be because of the gift. Keep being you!

You are over thinking this because you want the job. All these multi stage interviews are very stressful. I remember being totally crushed after reaching the final stage in a multinational graduate program when I didn’t get it. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions getting through to each round.

Just draw a line under your worry now. You have done what you can, you’ve done great so far and it’s out of your hands. The chocolates won’t be making a difference.

I rather like the fact you did that.

Its not an issue. I interview grads and run grad programs. It may actually go in your favour as you will be memorable. Some people just sink into the background despite being technically good, and so a little extra like this can actually make a little difference. Not because of the chocolates but because there is now something to remember you by. 'Sally, oh the one with the chocolates' not 'Sally, which one was she again'.

I’m glad you feel better now. 💐

Congratulations on getting to the final stage, that is a huge achievement! Don’t overthink the chocolates, as people have said it is unusual but won’t be held against you negatively! It sounds as though the interaction was very natural and you will have come across as personable and prepared. They can’t encourage applicants to bring chocolates but I’m sure they would have enjoyed them.
I’m guessing this is for a law firm training contract. I’m a lawyer (trained at a city firm, now in-house). It sounds like you are doing fantastically on your own but it you ever want to check through anything then feel free to message me. Really hope you get the job!

Well I would hire you purely on the basis you brought chocolates!!

It’s a graduate position and you weren’t going for the CEO, so it’s quite a nice gesture.

I actually think it’s quite a clever move, they’ll remember you. It certainly wouldn’t do you any harm.

I think your friends are shit stirring a bit. It’s just chocolates.

Honestly, if this sense of ambiguity gives you anxiety, you’re going to struggle in corporate roles