AIBU to worry that bringing chocolates to an interview was inappropriate?

[Thebigwideworld]

I think I’ve messed up the biggest opportunity I’ve ever had and cannot stop overthinking it and worrying about it😢

im in the process of getting a trainee/graduate position sorted for after graduation. Some firms are really popular and sought after and notoriously difficult to get a position in. I’ve got to the final interview stage at my absolute number 1 choice. I already interviewed online and passed the initial stages (including a group session which wasn’t hosted at the firm itself) and the last stage was an in person interview at the firm and also for them to show you round and meet different people for the day.

I don’t know why I thought it was the done-thing to do, but I brought chocolates for them to say thank you for having me for the afternoon. It was a large box of Belgian chocolates from m&s. I just sort of thought there was a lot of people giving up their time to show me round, chat to me and interview and I just thought it was the sort of thing you did in this situation to say thank you! Sort of like last day of work experience when you bring gifts to thank people for giving up their time

I briefly mentioned it to my friends who were a bit like wtf, why would you do that, and a bit flabbergasted that I thought I should do it. They said I’m going to look like I’m trying to win them over and that it makes me look immature and really unaware for doing it for not realising it’s all just an interview and they’re not showing me round out the good of their heart

I think it just sort of left me that it was all a big giant interview process and I just thought hey, they’re giving up their time to meet me and show me stuff, I’ll get them a little thing to say thank you because that’s what you’re supposed to do?! But I sort of lost sight that them showing me round and all the people meeting me were all just part of the interview process, and now I’ve made myself look like a complete idiot

just so as to not drop feed, I didn’t grow up with parents and had to teach myself a lot of stuff like this, especially social situations and formal work stuff. It’s all completely new to me and I don’t have anyone to go back to and ask for advice unfortunately.

i really wanted this position, and now im worried sick I’ve blown it and made myself look stupid, or that I didn’t appreciate that it was all part of the interview process (which in turn makes me look stupid too). Does anyone work at a firm and could advise me if I’ve made myself look like a complete idiot?

thanks😢

I think it’s sweet and I’d think you had excellent manners but little experience which is exactly the situation. Good luck !

This isn’t a thing, but as an interviewer, it totally should be! It’s shouldn’t harm your chances, OP, so don’t worry about it. At most they’ll think it was a kind thing to do.

It was a nice thing to do, though perhaps not the usual thing to do at an interview. But please try not to worry - if they think you're right for the position I don't think it would put them off. Good luck, I hope you get it!

It was a box of chocolates, not a wad of cash

I wouldn’t worry about this, it won’t affect the outcome

I just said this is for the staffroom/kitchen to say thanks to all the staff that spent time with me today

That tips it into “nice” rather than “weird” for me. It’s definitely not common interview practice to do that, though.

Dont beat yourself up about it. I bet they all really enjoyed the chocolates and thought that was a kind gesture. End of.

Good luck - hope you get the job. Xx

It’s very sweet!! You’ve done AMAZING to get this far, I don’t think anyone will think badly of you. Good luck!!! 🩵💙❤️

I think it's quite sweet actually. And at least they'll remember you.

Sounds like you’re interviewing in professional services of some sort? We’ve definitely had candidates buy chocolates at the end of their two week vac scheme to say thank you for the time people have given - our vac schemes are basically two week interviews so vaguely similar scenario. Honestly I don’t register if they do or don’t and it certainly doesn’t impact how we score and moderate them. Don’t stress about it, if you get the job (and I hope you do) make sure you ask for a mentor once you’re settled in, who can help you navigate some of the etiquette - I’d nothing else it will provide you with a bit of support and help boost your confidence. Sounds like you’ve done brilliantly getting to where you are, you should be proud of yourself.

I don't think it will affect the outcome but be prepared to be ribbed mercilessly for it if you get the job 😁 - which I hope you do!

That was very kind of you and I can't imagine they will hold it against you/count it as an attempted bribe as mentioned above (not sure if PP was joking). It sounds like you are young and it's all a learning curve. If you don't get the role please don't beat yourself up, it won't be because of the chocolates. And I really hope you get it!! It's so hard to learn these things and to be honest times change so quickly parents might well not be the best to advise anyway as even when I started work 15ish years ago it was so different to now. If you have any other questions about life just post them in places like Chat and I'm sure people are happy to help! 🙂

Not the done thing. Don’t be surprised if you don’t get it, it comes across like bribery.

I interview lots of people for trainee positions in a professional services firm. I would have thought it was a nice, kind gesture and then judged you on your merit. I’m sure it won’t have impacted your interview either way. Good luck and hope you get good news!

I work in occupational psychology and over the years have run hundreds of these types of grad assessment centres for a lot of prestigious firms across different sectors. I feel for you in not having anyone to support you / give advice on the move into professional work because it is easier if you 'know the rules'. I recommend spending a bit of time online researching it because there is a tonne of information out there. Look at employers' own websites and formal recruitment agency websites and steer away from too many chat rooms like fish bowl, which can just be alarmist.

In this instance, I'll give you an honest answer because it will help you most for the future. It is not the done thing, so no need to do it again. But I don't think it's too much of a misstep: at best, it will be taken as intended but yes, might make you seem a little 'green'. At worst, you could seem as though you are trying too hard to swing things your way, but I doubt anyone would take it that seriously, especially not at grad level. Just forget about it and move on, it's honestly not that big a deal and there will be many more opportunities to come.

You are right to show gratitude for the opportunity; I think that respect on your part will have showed up in plenty of other ways on the day and will serve you well in future. Taking a moment to say thank you (vs taking a gift) can go a very long way and is not overdoing it.

However, companies spend their time on these events because they are looking for the talent that will create value for them in the future. Just remember it is a two way street and the right company will value you as much as you value them :)

Good luck OP - you'll be grand.

I wouldn't recommend for anyone to do this- as it makes you look quite green and inexperienced with social norms. But at the same time I would think it showed a sweet character underneath if someone did- it is hugely important to a harmonious workplace that people show that respect and consideration for each other. The workplace norms are much easier to teach than a decent character.

Our interviews are rigidly scored against set criteria to determine those we hire- they have to be to ensure we aren't unconsciously biased towards certain genders or skin tones.

Please don't worry- you won't have hurt your chances here with this.

As others have said, please don’t give this anymore thought. You definitely won’t be thought of as inappropriate or immature - it was a nice gesture and I’m sure it was appreciated, albeit not usual.

And also check out the 93% club - it was set up by a young woman who got a training contract at a big law firm coming from an underperforming state school without having role models etc and she tells lots of stories about how she turned up in inappropriate attire etc because she didn’t have help/know what the right etiquette was. She is very inspirational and helps provides resources for others in the same position on their career journey too. www.93percent.club

Please don't worry about this. I'd think it was a bit unusual but quite sweet and a lovely thing to do, especially if you said the bit about people giving up their time. The receptionist, current trainee, and other people may have nothing to do with the decision so they are giving up their time to show you how things work. Just because it's part of the interview process, doesn't mean that it's a scored part. It may just be something they do because it makes sure that you think you would like to work there. Interviews can be about whether you want to work for them as well as if they want you.
I think it shows kindness and manners, and is a lovely gesture. It shouldn't be taken into account for the job as that should be on suitability and performance during interview and assessments.

If you don't get the job, please don't beat yourself up about the chocolates. I am 99% sure that they would have been taken in a positive way but will have nothing to do with the final decision.

Oh and well done for getting this far!

I actually think that what you said was nice and didn’t look as a bribe it looked more like you liked the place and how they approached the process. Because in some places the hiring process could be really really quick and time limited so you wouldn’t have chance to look around.

I’ve never been given chocolates in any of the interviews I’ve done but it will make you memorable

I’ve interviewed a lot of people. That absolutely wouldn’t have put me off you, I’d have remembered you, if you don’t get it, the chocks weren’t the problem. I’d hire you.

If you are right for the job it wouldn’t put me off hiring you - I can’t think anyone would think it a bribe or naff, perhaps a bit unusual.
Hope you get the job!

Hiring manager here. Never seen it done before but would certainly think it was a kind and considerate thing to do. Wouldn’t swing my decision but would leave a positive impression.

It's hardly bribery. I don't do interviews. But I'd think hmm that's a bit strange, but yay, chocolate 🤷

Thank you! Definitely taking this as a learning curve so not to look so green in the future. If I am lucky enough to get it, I’ll take the roasting from collegues for it!🙈 I deserve it to be fair haha. To be fair the cleaners were coming in just as I was leaving (that’s when I gave it) and they were joking about how that was their teabreak sorted and how can students be affording m&s nowadays and then we had a laugh about it and the director was joking about the funny cost saving meals he used to make as a student and how memorable/nostalgic the student days are (except from the student food haha). It was actually just a normal conversation at this point and just felt natural/banter so I’m hoping that’s some kind of saving grace for me🙈