AIBU to worry that bringing chocolates to an interview was inappropriate?

[Thebigwideworld]

I think I’ve messed up the biggest opportunity I’ve ever had and cannot stop overthinking it and worrying about it😢

im in the process of getting a trainee/graduate position sorted for after graduation. Some firms are really popular and sought after and notoriously difficult to get a position in. I’ve got to the final interview stage at my absolute number 1 choice. I already interviewed online and passed the initial stages (including a group session which wasn’t hosted at the firm itself) and the last stage was an in person interview at the firm and also for them to show you round and meet different people for the day.

I don’t know why I thought it was the done-thing to do, but I brought chocolates for them to say thank you for having me for the afternoon. It was a large box of Belgian chocolates from m&s. I just sort of thought there was a lot of people giving up their time to show me round, chat to me and interview and I just thought it was the sort of thing you did in this situation to say thank you! Sort of like last day of work experience when you bring gifts to thank people for giving up their time

I briefly mentioned it to my friends who were a bit like wtf, why would you do that, and a bit flabbergasted that I thought I should do it. They said I’m going to look like I’m trying to win them over and that it makes me look immature and really unaware for doing it for not realising it’s all just an interview and they’re not showing me round out the good of their heart

I think it just sort of left me that it was all a big giant interview process and I just thought hey, they’re giving up their time to meet me and show me stuff, I’ll get them a little thing to say thank you because that’s what you’re supposed to do?! But I sort of lost sight that them showing me round and all the people meeting me were all just part of the interview process, and now I’ve made myself look like a complete idiot

just so as to not drop feed, I didn’t grow up with parents and had to teach myself a lot of stuff like this, especially social situations and formal work stuff. It’s all completely new to me and I don’t have anyone to go back to and ask for advice unfortunately.

i really wanted this position, and now im worried sick I’ve blown it and made myself look stupid, or that I didn’t appreciate that it was all part of the interview process (which in turn makes me look stupid too). Does anyone work at a firm and could advise me if I’ve made myself look like a complete idiot?

thanks😢

It was a box of M&S chocolates, not an envelope stuffed with used banknotes! As others have said, it's a nice, sweet gesture, if a little unusual, and is more likely to count in your favour than against you. Don't worry about it at all.

The 93 percent club sounds like exactly what I’ve been needing!!! Thanks so much!

Definitely unusual, but not weird or offensive.

In the past, I've sent a thank-you card, brief note: thank you for the opportunity to interview for X position today. Yours truly ..."

Don't give it another thought @Thebigwideworld
You sound thoughtful amd genuine.

They were happy and I think what you said was very nice and appreciated. In the years gone by I’ve worked where we had the odd sweet token of thanks and appreciated the thought, definitely not seen as bribery. Wish you all the best in fact really hope you get it. (Also if there is any ribbing as one poster said, do take it as friendly people, often don’t have time or much to say when chatting that’s all)

If it's any help to you, I interview graduates eveey year and this would have absolutely no impact on the outcome, positively or negatively.

It's not the done thing but so what. You did it with the best of intentions and any decent interviewer will understand that you aew new to interviewing.

Forget about it. In the last 10 years, it wouldn't even rank in the top 10 of strange things that happened in an interview. I've had a candidate text me afterwards with a message meant for someone else about their interview, someone who missed the chair when invited to sit down, people knocking over their glass of water, a person who got my name wrong several times even though they were corrected the first time, phones not on silent and a person who actually answered the call and a candidate with an inpromptu nose bleed.

I hired some of them!

Shit happens and this isn't an issue that will have any impact on the outcome.

If you want to the the interviewers you can simply say "Thank you for the time and the opportunity" at the end.

Don't over think this.

Best of luck with your job search.

I have worked in corporate offices for years and have interviewed candidates.

At the very worst I would just think you were naive (but in an endearing way) and were young / inexperienced in the job world. I would not think you were trying to bride me.

While the box of biscuits would not drive my decision to hire you it would indicate to me that you had a strong desire to work for the company, which would be a small bonus.

However don’t do it again! You sound sweet.

Now that you explain the subsequent chat, it sounds fine and and the manager guy took it ok.

Having said this, I think you have learned not to repeat which is good.

The other good thing is that it’s reminded you of the fact that no one is around to guide you. This sounds negative but actually it’s a really useful thing to remember in your circs. I was in a vaguely parallel boat when I started out, but got no help whatsoever. Accept a mentor as soon as one is offered to you. There are professional behaviours you need to learn and then display automatically.

Fingers crossed for a job offer coming through.

After your update it does sound more acceptable than just sitting in an interview room and whipping out a box of chocolates, which would be more unusual. It sounds like a thoughtful gesture from your description.

Sounds like you clicked well with them and I hope it translates into being offered a job. Try not to stress about it anyway.

You will come off as a bit naive but thoughtful. Which, I think is a fair assessment.

You seem lovely and they’d be lucky to have you. If you don’t get the job because of this, it’ll be their loss. Who doesn’t give someone a job because they brought chocolate?

Come on now

i had someone bring a box of chocolates once, as i recall they incorporated it in to the presentation. it was a sweet gesture and it was a good interview, we thoguht it was lovely - it didn't influence our judgement either way.

I used to be an assessor involved in grad recruitment for my department in a large corporate for several years. Our process was similar multi-stage process. In all honesty, not only are human beings always human beings in their wildest diversity, so any process with humans involved throws up curveballs!, graduates clearly are by definition usually 'green' so there's more than average random stuff comes out in the process.

If you're the right person for the role, the chocolates won't put anyone off hiring you - or they shouldn't. If your gesture DOES put them off, it's not the role for you.

But yes, it is basically 'not the done thing' and it is a bit odd, but in and of itself it won't mark you out as an utter weirdo! What I would say is if you do get the job, I'll be fascinated to see how long it is before somebody cracks a joke about it! possibly at your first Christmas party! A few of our grads had minor things we wouldn't let them live down! (some might say this is inappropriate and all I can say is... humans are gonna human...! and we could take it as well as give it. And it was gentle ribbing rather than ritual humiliation!)

You sound lovely and I really hope you get the job.

I think it’s fine, OP! It was after spending a lot of time there, not bringing it to a 20-min panel interview, and getting shown around so I think it’s totally fine and wouldn’t worry!

It’s not a big deal. Yes it’s weird and not really a thing - they’re not doing you a favour by interviewing or hiring you. Employment goes two ways. But it also won’t make them not hire you if you’re the right candidate.

In future just ask AI or a friend or Mumsnet if it’s a normal thing to do.

It won't mess up your chances. A box of chocolates is hardly a bribe. It was kind and thoughtful of you.

It sounds to me like it went down really well and you did it in a way that made sense in the context.

It would be weird if you got to a formal panel interview, sat down across the table from the panel, pulled out a box of chocs and slid them across the table while staring them all down.

But a nice gesture to acknowledge all the different staff at different levels who’ve spent time with you, why not?

If an undergrad interviewing for their first ever job did this at my workplace, I’d find it adorable and not weird at all.

Ha! I see somebody else has said the same as I did! (I posted later than you but hadn't read all the other replies at the time!)

If it makes you feel any better, I think the fact that it’s a bit ‘green’ would make me more likely to hire you for a grad/trainee position. I recently did the final interviews for our highly competitive internship scheme. I had three to choose from who had all got through multiple stages and were very strong. My interview was about who I wanted to work for me. Two candidates had done internships in the last, were very polished but clearly weren’t that interested in the subject matter of our team. One had less experience but far more enthusiasm for the topic and I happily picked her even though she had much less experience and was a bit less polished because how else is she going to get a chance?

I hadn't read this when I replied (I really should RTFT!) and this tells me that they have taken it exactly as most have said - a little naive but well mannered and well intentioned. If you're going to make any mistake, make it this one! That bit of chat makes them all sound like Good Humans. Good luck to you and I hope you get the job, OP.

Ahh op. Dont overthink it. A bit naive sure but I really hope they see your genuinely lovely intentions behind it. Good luck! X

I think you will stand out as being kind and thoughtful and a people person - you made more effort than any other candidate to show your gratitude.

So while it was unusual, I think it would be a plus point in your favour!

While belgian M&S chocs are nice, they aren't high enough value to be considered a bribe, just a token gift.

Try not to worry now, but do let us know if you get the job!

As others have said, it won't change the outcome, but will be memorable.

My work is keen on social mobility and something like this might flag to me that you've not been coached by professional parents ushering you into their world. But that wouldn't be a bad thing, it would make me think twice to make sure I'm not overlooking someone with a different background and bringing in unconscious bias.

If I did employ you, I'd probably be telling my team how lovely you were to have brought in chocolates and share them with the team. That would be a great impression for the rest of my team to have before you start.

I think you’re cool and thoughtful and I would hire you in a heartbeat. Don’t worry about it at all. And good luck 🙂

You sound kind and appreciative.

@Thebigwideworld I gave chocolates to the interview panel at the last interview I had! I got the job 🙂