to think older age is no excuse for sexism, racism and misogyny?

[taaay]

I have several older family members (75+) who frequently make comments that I find quite offensive.

Examples include saying that women do not cook these days, that children are badly behaved because mothers rush back to work, making negative comments about non white doctors, nurses and hospital staff, and suggesting that a husband leaving his wife is understandable if she gained weight after having children or did not give him enough attention.

Whenever these views are challenged, the response is usually along the lines of "it's their generation" or "they are old fashioned".

I understand that attitudes were different decades ago, but I struggle with the idea that age somehow excuses prejudice. Plenty of people from the same generation manage to treat women and people from different backgrounds with respect.

I am not expecting everyone to have the same opinions, but I do think there is a difference between having traditional views and making derogatory comments about women or other groups of people.

AIBU to think that being elderly explains where some of these attitudes came from, but does not excuse them?

Right, so you're not putting all of his hard earned money into a charity you know he wouldn't agree with. You are keeping the lion's share and making a passive aggressive donation. Just to stick your two fingers up at him.

Yes you do. You’re backpedaling.

It does explain their views. If it doesn’t excuse them, what is the result of that? They’re ’cancelled’? What do you want to happen?

Your ageism is worse than their inexcusable views, as you should know better.

Unless people make a conscious effort to rethink the attitudes and beliefs they have held for a sizable chunk of their lives, it stands to reason they may be out of step with contemporary norms.
We think these attitudes are appalling because they are no longer the accepted ones. However we in our turn accept things now that future generations may end up being horrified by.
When that time comes, some of us will be open minded and listen to younger people and agree we have been wrong all our lives.
Others of us will double down and mutter what's the world coming to..? when our grandchildren tell us off for eating animals, opposing immigration or whatever.

It’s family money so not exactly hard earned (he was lucky, worked briefly, retired early and has a ridiculous pension)
it amuses me that he also doesn’t know I’m not 100% white British

he has views I don’t agree with, he’s not openly racist but if you open FB and look at some of the comments like “usual suspects” and “boat people” he’s a bit below that. Mostly that “x wouldn’t happen if they were white”

people inherit money from others who might be racist but they don’t know they are. I know what he is and I’ve made a decision I can live with and a few charity places will be much richer for it

Selective principles, as I thought. Your inheritance, your choice.

Doesn’t everyone? Who researches the lottery to make sure nothing is funded wrongly before they grab a ticket? Or checks they don’t buy nestle? Or uses cosmetics they aren’t sure are tested on animals?
or eats none free range eggs?

everyone has things they can live with and things they can’t

if you’re at the point of needing a food bank, counting every penny, how many people would say no thank you to several million pounds because they didn’t agree with the relative giving it them (who will be dead)? Not many I don’t think

She’s not backpedaling. In fact that’s her whole point. She knows that not all older people are like that so why is it being used as an excuse?

No she's not the first post was absolutely clear. She is not lumping all older people together she is complaining about her relatives doing that.

No I am not. Read @CaptainMyCaptain and @ChalkOutlines replies.

Why are their replies worthy of note? You've shared your discontentment about family members. Your family are no more or less representative of any other family with political views, regardless of their composition of age, race, religion and whatever other obligatory variant you want to throw in.

If they're nice people apart from having some ancient views, cut them some slack with a bit of light-hearted "people don't think that way nowadays".

How is it possible to be both "nice" and "racist"?

@MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack

I think people are composed of many contradictory things and generally would rather give people the benefit of the doubt as I haven't walked in their shoes.

Well, you do you. Personally, I think people who choose to turn a blind eye to racism are part of the problem.