to think older age is no excuse for sexism, racism and misogyny?

[taaay]

I have several older family members (75+) who frequently make comments that I find quite offensive.

Examples include saying that women do not cook these days, that children are badly behaved because mothers rush back to work, making negative comments about non white doctors, nurses and hospital staff, and suggesting that a husband leaving his wife is understandable if she gained weight after having children or did not give him enough attention.

Whenever these views are challenged, the response is usually along the lines of "it's their generation" or "they are old fashioned".

I understand that attitudes were different decades ago, but I struggle with the idea that age somehow excuses prejudice. Plenty of people from the same generation manage to treat women and people from different backgrounds with respect.

I am not expecting everyone to have the same opinions, but I do think there is a difference between having traditional views and making derogatory comments about women or other groups of people.

AIBU to think that being elderly explains where some of these attitudes came from, but does not excuse them?

I’m pointing out to you why people are assuming you are talking about a generation rather than just your family. You seemed to be confused.

The answer is in your own title to your own thread ¯\(ツ)/¯

Well I understood perfectly what the OP is saying. I am surprised you don't.

Is it maybe attention seeking - no excuse when everyone has corrected them

Yep, me too.

The OP explicitly stated that "plenty of people from the same generation manage to treat women and people from different backgrounds with respect" and used this to argue that age should not be seen as an excuse.

Some posters should perhaps just acknowledge that they failed to read the OP properly?

Depends on what someone is saying is 'racist'.

Ism and ists are overused these days - even back in the days of John Lennon - he complained about it, too.

Everybody's talking about / Bagism, Shagism, Dragism, Madism, Ragism, Tagism / This-ism, that-ism, ism ism ism

Try reading the OP. ¯\(ツ)/¯

I haven’t met anyone old who speaks this way OP.
I am sorry your relatives do.

Assuming all people with the same skin colour or ethnicity share the sane negative characteristics is racist. Of course, there are many in MN who defend that point of view and you may be one of them, who knows.

I have no interest in what John Lennon said and I am of that era.

Then why do people use it as an excuse, even on here?

Goodness me, I think many people have misinterpreted OPs post! It’s the opposite of ageism.

I think broadly speaking the generation who could possibly “excuse” racist comments as being outdated language etc are mostly no longer with us!

my grandparents would all be well over 100 now if they were still alive and they definitely used some offensive words - stuff that was socially accepted in their lives but no longer ok. But my parents generation are in their 80s now and are very aware of what is acceptable or what’s racist. I don’t think it can be dismissed as a generational thing anymore.

I honestly have no idea, I have never understood it.

That's kind of the whole point of the thread, I guess.

I have no interest in what you're saying so all the best!

Lol. I guess that's one way of saying "I don't know how to answer that point".

My dad would have been 87 this year and he wasn’t sexist or racist. He was a white man married to an Indian women with mixed race children. He was a stay-at-home dad whose wife was the main breadwinner. He looked after the household and did the lions share of the cooking and childcare. I did all science and maths A levels and went on to study Biochemistry with his full support. There’s no excuse for older people to be prejudiced. YANBU.

No, it's my way of saying I don't care about your opinion if you don't care about mine. I don't try to pursue intellectual discourse with people who want an echo chamber or a mirror.

I don’t think they do.
Often what happens is someone has described a situation and tried to explain why the older person has responded or would behave in a certain way. Not excused. Explained.
I would add perhaps these labels are wafted around a bit too readily.
I have met a racist once in my life. A real one. It has stayed with me all my life. Yet people often say ‘that is racist and this and that’. The attitude behind the words is what matters.
I have long been subjected to prejudice myself. From family, school, work. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But I have learnt over the years that there are people who say all the right things but I can tell their attitude doesn’t match their words. They just know the right words to say.
And sometimes people say the wrong words, but their attitude is right. And they mean no harm.

OK love.

With age comes a life of experience some of those are negative experiences. Those experiences add up and form their opinion based on their life.
Others have very little influence, what you can do is listen and IF you choose ask why.

There's quite a few members of society who are also expected to just put up and shut up. Women being the top of the list. I will save my faux shock horror for my fellow sisters, when every insulting reference to women is combated the same. The dated "ok boomer: and "karen" comments from kids.Anything to say there?

As regards ageism, I think it is MORE ageist to explain and excuse unpleasant attitudes and comments on the grounds that 'they're older' than to call out such attitudes.

Unless someone is not only old, but has been living under a rock for the last 60 years or so, you cannot explain some of these views as 'just their age', ans it is patronizing to do so.

If people are actually suffering from a degree of dementia, then this may indeed be an excuse at least for a lack of filter. But not just age as such.

I think that was the OP's point.

Yes.

My dad is worse with age, he’s 76 and I’ve tried numerous times to correct that he doesn’t say coloured but…
my uncle is awful. I am set to inherit a shit load of money from him so I avoid much contact and plan to donate some of the money to a charity he would hate

Yeah of course you will. Instead of telling him not to leave any money to you - on principle of course - you are going to donate it 😂

of course I will. It’s a life changing amount of money and I don’t know many people that live alone earning just above minimum wage that would turn it down on principle
i could have lied and said I’m not going to accept being in his will, why would I lie about donating?
I can take 100k out the money easily and find a relevant charity

or I can turn it down on principle, never be able to pay my mortgage off and not be able to give to charity
my morals are perfectly happy with the first option

His attitude is no worse than people I see posting on FB