to think older age is no excuse for sexism, racism and misogyny?

[taaay]

I have several older family members (75+) who frequently make comments that I find quite offensive.

Examples include saying that women do not cook these days, that children are badly behaved because mothers rush back to work, making negative comments about non white doctors, nurses and hospital staff, and suggesting that a husband leaving his wife is understandable if she gained weight after having children or did not give him enough attention.

Whenever these views are challenged, the response is usually along the lines of "it's their generation" or "they are old fashioned".

I understand that attitudes were different decades ago, but I struggle with the idea that age somehow excuses prejudice. Plenty of people from the same generation manage to treat women and people from different backgrounds with respect.

I am not expecting everyone to have the same opinions, but I do think there is a difference between having traditional views and making derogatory comments about women or other groups of people.

AIBU to think that being elderly explains where some of these attitudes came from, but does not excuse them?

there are racists in every age group

You are absolutely bang on. They certainly laugh at being called far right.

No one is denying that.

Well then, she should just have said "some people."

I was talking about my relatives. Try reading the OP.

For other people who struggle to read:

I DO NOT MEAN ALL OLDER PEOPLE.

So true!!

My Dad is getting on now, mid 80s. He worked in the community, would have dealt many newly arrived immigrants over the years. He also was very ambitious for his daughters. I have noticed he remains very open about different cultures and extremely intolerant of racism. However I've seen sexism creep in, the mask has slipped there. Little things like demeaning our jobs but talking up DH and BILs work. Assuming an upset woman is being irrational, saying when women talk they are having a gossip. That kind of thing.

What your cousin was actually saying is “I’m racist too”

It seems that you have missed the entire point of the thread. Never mind.

I have an aunt like that. You can’t change her.
My father would have been brought up close minded, making “jokes” non funny jokes, he grew out of it as we wouldn’t tolerate him being a twat once we became teenagers.
So many people have fell out with my aunt. I tell her she’s disgusting, she will knuckle down, it’s a badge of honour for her.
I usually tell her to zip it if she starts, debating with her will encourage her.

Depends how the poster ‘spoke up’.

The fact the cousin came ‘rushing in’ implies it wasn’t in a normal conversational tone. If anyone had a go at my mother even if she was in the wrong. I would have done the same

The whole point of the OP's thread was that some people use age to excuse racist/misogynist comments made by older people. As if they somehow can't help it because racism and misogyny are just the norm for their generation.

She stated that age should not be regarded as an excuse for offensive comments because many older people of the same age are NOT racist or misogynist.

There is nothing remotely ageist in saying that older people should be held to account for their racist and misogynist comments in exactly the same way that younger people should be held to account for the same. It IS ageist to suggest that being old automatically makes you racist or misogynist.

Maybe they are correct?

Okay so can they ‘hold you to account’ if you have views then don’t believe in?

In defending her mother, she was supporting racism. I agree.

It was a normal conversational tone. You weren't there.

Nice to know you would support your racist mother. Makes you racist too.

Well do you want them arrested for it? Do you want then to go sit in the corner with a dunce cap? Do you want the neighbours to come round and stage a sit in?

They are racist and sexist so now what?

Of course. Everyone should be willing to be held to account for their views.

Yes that is exactly what I want!

They have been racist to hospital staff but they are old, so forget the hospital staff. They should put up and shut up.

Age isn’t an excuse for racism/ misogyny/ homophobia, you’re either racist, misogynistic, homophobic or you're not.

People of any age can educate themselves on what’s acceptable and what’s not nowadays if they are willing. If they hold such awful views, I’m guessing they always have and don’t see anything wrong with it.

Good on you for calling it out OP.

My mum was 93 when she died 7 years ago. She did become a bit more outspoken as she aged but never said anything racist or homophobic, though she could be a bit sexist - didn’t approve of women vicars for example. She had dementia but even so no racism.

I agree. It’s not age. The Aunt who I mentioned above was always a snarky troublemaker who thought she was bold and brave, “say it like it is”type. Aka rude witch.
She’s a bit worse now but it’s definitely not her age. She is 1 of 9, the only one who acts like this.

What do you think ageist means?

Maybe consult a dictionary before jumping on to win holier than thou points and making yourself look silly. Just mentioning a protected characteristic when relevant doesn't mean you are discriminating against them.

OP is being literally the exact opposite of ageist by acknowledging a) that not all older people are the same and b) they have the exact same capacity to learn, change and grow as everyone else.

So not racist then, just using outdated language

Sorry, what’s your point to me? Are you just summarising my comment?

Exactly. Some people really do struggle with literacy and comprehension here. Nothing the OP has said is ageist, quite the opposite. When I am older, I would hate my behaviour being put down to my age!