to think older age is no excuse for sexism, racism and misogyny?

[taaay]

I have several older family members (75+) who frequently make comments that I find quite offensive.

Examples include saying that women do not cook these days, that children are badly behaved because mothers rush back to work, making negative comments about non white doctors, nurses and hospital staff, and suggesting that a husband leaving his wife is understandable if she gained weight after having children or did not give him enough attention.

Whenever these views are challenged, the response is usually along the lines of "it's their generation" or "they are old fashioned".

I understand that attitudes were different decades ago, but I struggle with the idea that age somehow excuses prejudice. Plenty of people from the same generation manage to treat women and people from different backgrounds with respect.

I am not expecting everyone to have the same opinions, but I do think there is a difference between having traditional views and making derogatory comments about women or other groups of people.

AIBU to think that being elderly explains where some of these attitudes came from, but does not excuse them?

Reading comprehension levels on MN are disturbingly low . Or it’s wilful ignorance. Not sure which is worse.

Ok so how does it actually work then? Who decides what is acceptable or not to start with? And would you accept being told off like you were 2 for something someone else thinks you have done wrong yourself?

I challenged my 76y mum who said things like mothers playing in women’s football teams is why boys get into knife crime.

What? 😂I’m genuinely intrigued how she came to that conclusion. Did she elaborate why?

Yay! Dunces caps for racist and sexist people!

Because they aren’t behaving like proper mothers and looking after their sons at home. They are trying to be like men and so are neglecting their sons who then turn to crime. Even thinking about it now, makes my blood boil! It was when the women’s football was on TV.

Just to add that thread went on for 13 pages 😳

Ignore them OP. They knew what you meant, no one is that stupid to believe you meant every single elderly person walking this planet. They choose to nit pick at your wording to waste their own time and argue for the sake of it.

To answer your original OP- while I don’t agree with some of the views I’ve witnessed from the elderly generational, and I would challenge where nessessary, I do believe a bit of leeway should be granted to some degree.

The western world has drastically changed in the past 15 years, there was once a time all that long ago when tolerance and acceptance was not engrained into society. People are products and molded by their environmental upbringing. Just because the world is how it is today, you can’t always expect an elderly person to keep up with the modern etiquette and terminologies. Are they always right? No. But they are all they know.

Additionally as a Russian woman, I can confirm that some of the views you’ve quoted from your elderly relative still hold weight in Russia today (and most of the world) The women are expected to cook, raise their children at home. Food isn’t indulged as much there so being slim is also expected. With that in mind, would you argue that the majority population of a country 70 times the size of UK are wrong? Or, would you accept they have cultural differences or grew up with different values?

I mean, while I agree that a woman’s presence at home is important I did find the huge leap from women’s football to knife crime in your previous post rather amusing 😂 your mother has an active imagination! Sometimes you have to see the ridiculousness and humour aspect behind it to spare your rage.

Yes, you are being unreasonable to hold people to standards that weren't around in their day, or your interpretation of what was in their day etc.

Since it's your FIL, it's still only an hour on a Sunday, and you're unreasonable about that, too.

Your kids and grandkids won't agree with you, when you're older, so maybe they should exclude you? Be prepared!

I agree with you and find it very disrespectful and offensive to the elderly.

The title of your thread is to think older age is no excuse for sexism, racism and misogyny?

That is a generalisation, the examples you give to support it are from your own family but the whole thread title generalises the problems of sexism, racism and misogyny to an age group. (What is the distinction between sexism in misogyny in your view?).

BTW, in every generation judgementalism and binary attitudes based on characteristics is a feature of younger people. We are at our most judgemental as teens and gradually grow up to see the shades of grey.

why haven’t they been brought up to speed by you and DGCs - I think it’s partly that they need informed of stuff - teach them to look stuff up on AI

And who cares what they say about women’s roles - ridiculous in this day and age

Search Assist
As of 2023, 42% of doctors in the UK were trained abroad, according to the General Medical Council. So they can forget about always wanting a white doctor

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OP, your elderly relatives were in their 40s in the 90s. Believe it or not, racism and sexism weren’t ok then either. If they’re being racist and sexist now, that’s because they are racist and sexist.

I think sometimes people post on here as if old people were all born in 1820 and ideas like sex and race equality are some sort novelty for them. If you’re 75 now you were in your early teens at the start of second wave feminism, 30 when the Brixton riots happened, 42 when Stephen Lawrence was murdered. For your entire adult life it’s been normal for women to have careers. Old people aren’t that old.

They have been brought upto speed. It has been pointed out time and time again. I can't force people to change.

They don't want to use the internet so that is not an option either.

You even quoted where I said this:

I DO NOT MEAN ALL OLDER PEOPLE.

I seriously worry about the lack of reading comprehension exhibited on this thread.

Not really. I am over 70 but it often comes up on MN - people excusing racism etc because of someone's age. There was no excuse in the 1970s and no excuse now.

Yes. She's saying quite the opposite.

Just let them get on with it OP. The views they're expressing are all the rage these days...

But being racist wasn't universal 'in their day'. I was born in the 1950s and I wasn't brought up that way. Besides which they have had decades to change.

Exactly.

Exactly. My father is pushing 90, and he has been speaking out against racism and misogyny since before I was even born!