AIBU to dress up to match my son for his prom?

[MissRaspberryRipples]

Hi there. My son has his high school prom coming up next month as he's 16 and doing his GCSEs at the moment. He's chosen his outfit choices and I've purchased both suits that he liked so he has a choice. He's gone for purple suits which are lovely. I've also purchased myself a lovely purple dress and some nice shoes so that he can have some lovely mum and son photos taken on his special night. I showed them to my partner and all he has said is that they're nice and will look great but why am I making such an effort when it's not even my night? He says it's silly and isn't necessary. He thinks I'm overdoing it on the effort for a night that isn't for me. Is it really unreasonable to want to make the effort or is he just being unnecessarily mean

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OP, you came here to ask a question.

Your question has been answered.

The overwhelming majority of people here agree with your DH.

It was a lovely thought but even those need a bit of consideration.

There is absolutely no need to be defensive. If people are being, in your opinion, a bit rude in their responses that is their problem but maybe you need to have a think about why they are shocked enough by your behaviour to come at you so strongly?

It is VERY unusual for parents to buy outfits for a couple of photos before their child's prom.

There's probably a reason for that!

You came for feedback. You got it.

No harm in it but seems a bit silly, you aren't going to the prom.

If you’ve read all the posts and you still can’t see how ridiculous your idea is and how it’s just not helpful to your son, whatever he says. Then I’m very sorry, but I do hope you’ll change your mind.

No

OP, you have a clear case of uncut apron strings.
Any future girlfriends will see that photograph and know you will never let him go.
Get saving for his wedding day, where you can upstage the bride to make it clear you won't ever let him go.
...I feel embarrassed for you!

Thankyou, I'm definitely not out to follow my kid to his prom nor am I plastering photos all over social media. I don't really post a fat lot on Facebook as it is cos quite honestly I don't need to. If I want to share photos with family I have WhatsApp for that so that people who aren't bothered don't have to see stuff all over Facebook. I get people have a difference of opinion but is it really necessary for them to be so nasty and cruel about it. His prom isn't fancy dress he chose to wear purple and he picked out his own suits. He chose two as one of the jackets he chose came in a different material to what he thought it was(it's like a velvet type material which in the middle of July may be a bit warm for it so has a suit jacket also if he wants something cooler to wear than the velvet one).

If I'd done that, my ds would have died of embarrassment.

At my ds' prom, parents were allowed to drop off their teen, have one drink and to stay until 8pm, then were required to GO AWAY and not return until 1am or when called

Oh behave. Another mother that just can't let her child be. It screams of being sad and desperate. You are his mother not his girlfriend or his bride.

Another one whose midwife forgot to cut the umbilical cord...

It’s his prom not yours, do not do this!

I can just see the OP wearing a white bridal gown to his wedding too and elbowing the actual bride out of the way for the romantic pictures 😂

Fine to have photos together but not in matching clothes. Just wear a nice summer dress or trousers and top

That’s really weird. It’s his night. Leave him alone. My son would be mortified if I did that to him.

Very weird.

This.
Please, please don't.

I’ve got an amazing photo of my dd2 just before she left for prom with her older sister in her tracksuit bottoms and dinosaur slippers. They are both laughing as it was quite funny. Dd1 didn’t even get a prom because of Covid but it didn’t cross my mind that we should dress up for photos with her. The photo we have is great because it was so natural.

It’s the child’s night, not anyone else’s. It’s a time for them to be with their friends.

I think it could be nice to have family photos in the garden or something but once he leaves the house I wouldn’t want to be matching. Most prom photos family are in normal clothes that I have seen.

We (dh & I) took a selfie with my son when we dropped him off for his prom but we were just wearing ordinary 'nice' clothes. If the dress is something you would wear for a summer night out (not weddingy) then it's not that weird to want to look nice, and I think it's fine to have a photo with your son. Maybe take a photo before going and then see what his friends and other parents are doing at the event. I seem to remember lots of photos with family as well as with friend groups.

It’s cringe. You take some snaps, see him off at tea time then you go home and put your slippers on. What on earth are you thinking? Stop embarrassing your boy.

We had lovely parents and son photos taken with us simply wearing what we happened to be wearing that day. We'd both come home from work so were moderately smart, but it never once occurred to us to go and get specifically dressed up for the photos.

I do fear your photo is going to look a bit odd, because it will look as if you were going to the prom as your son's partner. If only to save yourself the embarrassment of people misunderstanding and having to correct them, do have a rethink.

The point OP isn’t that you’ve done something terrible or only for social media. It’s that it isn’t YOUR event. It’s not even a family event. If you want nice pictures, get the family dressed up and go to a photo place.

People are trying to gently tell you that shoe-horning yourself in just isn’t ok. You obviously didn’t mean it to come across that way but that is how it looks. Any person viewing that picture in years to come will ask why you are dressed up.

its exactly this “but I just wanted to…” “all I did was…” behaviour that people find exhausting in their family/in-laws. You can’t quite pinpoint what they did wrong but their behaviour is just..weird. Certain people just manage to make stuff about them and it’s incredibly tiresome. Don’t become that Mum.

I think you came on here expecting everyone to agree with you so you could then show this thread to your DH to justify going ahead with it. You don’t want to hear opposing views, you only want to sift out tiny bits that back your view up.

Your DS saying he’s fine with it might be true or, if you generally act in real life as you have on this thread, then he is probably just going along with for an easy life or to save offending / upsetting you.

My friend posted a prom picture from last year with her DS in the garden. He was dressed to the nines and she was as casual as can be (they live in Australia and she had been working on her house that day). The picture was delightful as it captured a proper moment in time of a proud mum with her DS who was off to have a great night, not a formal ‘on for show’ photo op.

I would definitely wear the dress for a night out so it's not going to be used only once. The dress is nice but it definitely isn't something that a teen would wear to a prom or a wedding. I'm 43 years old not a wannabe teenager, I'm not trying to look like my own son's date that would just be weird. I'm not taking him to his prom he's going with his friends and none of their parents are going either. Any photos of myself and my son will be taken at home not at his prom venue.

I'm sure she will wear a wedding dress to her son's wedding!