AIBU to stop covering my job-share partner's time off?

[JobShareDrama]

I job share with a woman at work. We both work 2 days each. I’ve covered for her a few times when she had child care issues during school holidays, but never had her cover for me yet.

I asked her in Jan to cover my 2 week holiday in July and she agreed. A few days ago she sent me a list of all the days and weeks she needs me to cover. I agreed to them, even though it’s not convenient for me, as she’s covering for me.

I agreed to them all, and on doing so she immediately sent me a return message saying she can no longer cover my holiday, leaving me in the lurch.

So, I’ve covered for her multiple times, and she’s not once returned the favour.

I feel like saying I’m not doing her dates then, but then this will pretty much ring the death bell on a cordial working relationship. TBH I’m sick of being a peacekeeper and mug to people.

AIBU to from henceforth just say I’m not free to cover her days off?

Yes, send this 👏🏼

I would send her a message straight back.

What? Why can you no longer do my dates? Not sure I would have agreed to all of yours to be honest had I known that before. I try and accommodate all your requests Jo, but you don’t reciprocate which is a shame. I think we should have a sit down with Sarah and work out this predicament as you have plenty of cover and I have…well…none.

I don’t understand why you need to cover each other? In my job where people job share, yes they share a FT role over the week but if 1 takes annual leave, the job share doesn’t have work those days to cover. They just work their 2 days? I mean sometimes people do cover so they can accrue toil but it’s never expected.

This does seem a bit cynical. She has waited for you to confirm you can/will put yourself out to cover her and only then she leaves you in the lurch. I do not think it is petty to say one in one out, i.e. you will cover the same number of days as she does for you.

She sounds like a complete idiot and jerk, and I hope you won't cover for her in the future. My response would have been, "What a coincidence! I just found out I won't be able to cover for any of your dates either." It's not a cordial relationship when one side is all give and the other side is all take. (I say this as a people pleaser who's been building up my spine in the past handful of years: It is possible, especially once you get that initial ball rolling.) I'm glad you see this as your manager's problem now, and I wish you luck! If you haven't already dug up her agreement from back in Jan, I'd get that handy just in case.

I don't see why not - she agreed to cover OP's and changed her mind so why should OP feel any guilt about doing the same?

If you don't want to I'd just reply 'Actually thinking about it you're probably right, it's too complicated to cover each other's shifts, it's probably easier if we both just take leave when we need to.' Or just tell her 'haha no, if you can't do mine I can't do yours.' Unless you want the extra money, but if that's the case only do it when it works for you, no feeling obliged to do her a favour!

I would say something like this!

Don’t feel guilty, you are not the person damaging the cordial working relationship here, she is. Keep the response polite as the quoted poster has said and leave it with management to resolve.

Because that's what happens when you job share and it's just the two of you.

This is the key point. Each of you are covering for the company rather than covering for each other.

Not really understanding how this affects you or leaves you in the lurch in any way? You are entitled to take your annual leave, and it should be no odds to you whatsoever if the job is covered in your absence (that’s a management issue).

What you both appear to have, which most people don’t, is the opportunity to occasionally work some extra days as hoc for extra income, something either of you can say yes or no to at your own decision, depending on whether it is personally convenient. That sounds like a bonus, not a problem.

The only thing I can think of, is that if there are certain tasks, that for example are always scheduled for a Monday and Tuesday, and so if neither of you work on those days…they pile up for the person when they return…then it does assist you to have those days covered…however what you should remember is that if this was just one post-holder, they would be taking 2 week’s leave at times, without this type of cover option…so getting behind would happen anyway.

If it’s essential that the role is covered during annual leave, management can offer both of you extra hours, but if either of you decline that…it’s the manager’s responsibility to find a way to cover by stretching the rest of the workforce a bit thinner to get the essentials in place.

As for her trying to ‘one-up’ you, she may have that attitude about her…but it’s likely that your manager has noticed that it’s just attitude and not real…the fact that you have been really amenable by agreeing to working extra days, and she agrees then pulls out…shows the type of employee she is. This stuff gets noticed, even if not explicitly said.

i think what you should do is ask that cover is arranged via the manager, what this would involve is that when someone submits and has their leave request approved by the manager, the manager then decides whether to offer another employee extra hours, or cover using staff already on the rota for that day. Doing that would also stop this person from messing other people around, as
they would not be able to say yes, then just pull out without proper reason when dealing with a manager.

Well if she agreed to cover you’re dates and now isn’t

why can’t you not cover her dates anymore

Tho if you cover for her you get paid more ?

if no one covers for you what happens

I'd send her a message- if you can't cover my holiday I will have a problem getting it covered. Covering your holiday is not convenient for me, so I don't feel inclined to cover it.

Definitely say you can no longer cover her holiday. Let your manager deal with it.

Yep!

Still go on your holidays and work will have to manage without you. I'd be having a word with your manager and supply a list of dates you have covered for colleague. Tell colleague and manager you won't be covering for colleague again because she is clearly using you.

It’s not . It’s one job

I don’t get why you’re covering each other’s holidays anyway. If you’re off, you just catch up after your leave…surely? No-one covers for me when I’m off? I’m not job share.

I used to job share an had a fab relationship with the lady I used to share with, we wud cover each other.

Tbh she is being rather selfish. People saying u shud cover because u agreed to it .. dont forget, she also agreed to do yours for u. I wud wait a day or two for things to settle then text her n say ... oh im sorry summits come up an I cant cover for u on those dates. Exactly what she did to u x

In a day or two I’d email her back and tell her you’ve double checked and now can’t cover. Sod the cordial relationship, although you may look petty, but sod that

She got you to agree to cover hers knowing she was going to send you that message.

Either ask her why you should cover her when she has cancelled on you or message her in a week with a reason you can’t cover her dates anymore. If she gets annoyed you can act shocked and remind her that she has done the same.

she is relying on you wanting to keep the peace, she has realised your nice and is taking the piss. Obviously doesn’t care too much about others.

Won’t look petty, this looks like an escalating issue where she thinks she can use and abuse the relationship, some people are just wired like that unfortunately

You’d be an absolute mug to cover all her inconvenient shifts when she can’t extend the same courtesy for you. She pulled out of your agreed cover leaving you in the lurch, so do the same. Who cares if it’s tit for tat. She’s taking the piss out of you.

I think you should say you are no longer able to do the dates 'due to an oversight'. If she complains just say its not your problem and why it's always you give and she takes. Also mske sure your superior is clear what days you are doing beforehand in case she pulls a stunt.

This.

About the dates you've already agreed, simply choose the ones you want to work and refuse the rest. Let your manager deal with it