AIBU to stop covering my job-share partner's time off?

[JobShareDrama]

I job share with a woman at work. We both work 2 days each. I’ve covered for her a few times when she had child care issues during school holidays, but never had her cover for me yet.

I asked her in Jan to cover my 2 week holiday in July and she agreed. A few days ago she sent me a list of all the days and weeks she needs me to cover. I agreed to them, even though it’s not convenient for me, as she’s covering for me.

I agreed to them all, and on doing so she immediately sent me a return message saying she can no longer cover my holiday, leaving me in the lurch.

So, I’ve covered for her multiple times, and she’s not once returned the favour.

I feel like saying I’m not doing her dates then, but then this will pretty much ring the death bell on a cordial working relationship. TBH I’m sick of being a peacekeeper and mug to people.

AIBU to from henceforth just say I’m not free to cover her days off?

I'd retract the agreement to cover her dates if you don't want to. Say you only agreed to make it work as she was covering for you. Since she's pulled a fast one, clearly deliberately, you're no longer available.

Stand up for yourself ffs

Fuck that for a game of soldiers. From what you’ve said she sees herself as the top dog, and you her lackey. You will feel so much better once you assert perfectly healthy boundaries.

I think I would message back and say fair enough but the arrangement doesn’t seem very reciprocal so you will be reviewing your availability in the future.

If you want the extra money then work the days. If you are 2 days for a reason and don't want to work extra don't do it.
Manager can sort cover for your holiday. No skin off your nose is it.

Castle Crasher has this covered, plus she can go f### herself.

You shouldn't have to organise your own holiday cover though.

Forwaed her message (or screenshot of it) to your manager. cc the Cheekyb*tch

”Dear manager, after CheekyB agreed to cover my vacation, and after I reciprocally agreed to cover her time off again, she has withdrawn from the arrangement. Having consulted my diary, unfortunately I also now find myself unable to cover any of the dates she asked me to cover! What a crazy coincidence. Anyway now it means there is no cover for my holidays, please could you arrange a temp? I will leave CheekyB to sort out her own holiday cover arrangements with you.
Kr”

Absolutely this. Since she has retracted her agreement to cover for you, do the same. Don't be such a pushover!

Leave it a couple of days then go back and say sorry checked and actually you can’t do it

Up the line to the boss with this one.

Gosh how very formal!

This. She has cancelled therefore you have no obligation.

I can understand why you'd be really annoyed about it, but you already don't have a cordial relationship. What you have is someone that is making you bend over backward to do cover for her by sending you those dates, and then she's had the cheek to pull out of your holiday over. In your shoes I'd pull out of every single date that is not convenient for you. You don't have to do it to all of them, but anything else goes. And don't provide an explanation. Just say they're no good for you anymore. Don't expect that to go down well though. A lot of managers won't back an employee like you in this type of situation because quite frankly, it's simple not important to them, and you may be seen as someone causing a fuss or being unreasonable, even though it's your colleague taking the piss here.

This speaks to a lack of proper structure in your workplace as well. In mine, once you agreed to cover someone, it was then your responsibility and it was really not a done thing to dump it back on the person you had agreed to cover, but I appreciate it's not that simple at yours given it's just the two of you.

@happygreenscissors Unless it's a zero hours kind of workplace with many employees doing loads of different hours, which would be quite intense and chaotic to handle, it's a manager's workplace to sort the rota, including cover. However, there are plenty that try to dump this responsibility (of which they get paid extra for) onto their employees to do it instead.

People talk like that in corporate workplaces. It's all very formal.

I don’t understand why you cover for each other you are a job share therefore ‘one ‘ person . I’ve jo shared fir 24 years on and off in the NHS and I’ve never done holiday cover

You’re not doing her a favour by covering her dates though are you?

She’d have the time off regardless but if you cover then you get paid extra.

You can still have your days off but she just won’t be paid extra.

What does your contact say, OP? I'd check that in case you're doing extra hours for no reason. I job shared and we were under no obligation to cover for each other. The only time we did was if we did a swap one week.

this.

I would email her that unfortunately you are unable to cover for her.
Any push back from her, list out how many times you have done it to date, at considerable inconvenience.
Copy your manager.

Going forward, "doesn't suit" every single time.

She doesn't respect you, thinks you're a mug, and is a cheeky fxxker.

Remain pleasant, but insist that constantly juggling to cover for her doesn't suit you.

But she also said she would do it and had no problem backing out so you should do the same. Is say this because with certain types of people you need to see when they are testing what they can get away with. If you stick to this, she will absolutely try this again. Unless she had an emergency situation, which sounds unlikely as surely she would have communicated this, then her move was calculated. “Next time I will say no” won’t come, sorry. Tell her that clearly this arrangement isn’t going to work so you henceforth withdraw from her days and that management will need to handle this going forward.

‘Cordial’?! She’s using you. That’s the relationship.

Many years ago (when I had applied for a full time academic job) they offered me a job share. I declined. Their reasoning was that they had an existing staff member returning from maternity leave who wanted to drop down to half time. They thought that offering a job share was good way to do it. I could see the existing employee getting first dibs of the good hours and tasks with the newcomer picking up the dregs. In fact I was quite blunt about the reason for my refusal. Returning from maternity leave - new baby - constantly off with me picking up her work. No thanks.

The core truth is that job shares only work when both halves are on equal footing. Op does not state whether she has children. However children often mean unpredictable absences. In practice, the “other half” of the job share becomes the default cover. This is framed as “teamwork”, but it’s actually gendered labour displacement the costs of motherhood are shifted onto whoever is nearby and the more so if they are childfree.

I’d be replying I can’t do any of the covers I said I could now. Talk about shooting her herself in the foot…..

It's only a "cordial working relationship" while she gets it all her own way! From now on I would just say a flat out "no".

Job shares can be really really difficult, especially when one of them does not do their job and is flaky with lots of time off. I speak from bitter experience.