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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to stop covering my job-share partner's time off?

192 replies

JobShareDrama · 12/06/2026 12:34

I job share with a woman at work. We both work 2 days each. I’ve covered for her a few times when she had child care issues during school holidays, but never had her cover for me yet.

I asked her in Jan to cover my 2 week holiday in July and she agreed. A few days ago she sent me a list of all the days and weeks she needs me to cover. I agreed to them, even though it’s not convenient for me, as she’s covering for me.

I agreed to them all, and on doing so she immediately sent me a return message saying she can no longer cover my holiday, leaving me in the lurch.

So, I’ve covered for her multiple times, and she’s not once returned the favour.

I feel like saying I’m not doing her dates then, but then this will pretty much ring the death bell on a cordial working relationship. TBH I’m sick of being a peacekeeper and mug to people.

AIBU to from henceforth just say I’m not free to cover her days off?

OP posts:
GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 12/06/2026 13:59

You need a proper conversation with your manager and HR about this, you/your manager could be getting the company in hot water doing things this way. I'd be very surprised if this is the 'official' way of managing leave in a job share.

If you work extra hours to cover each other's leave, then your holiday entitlements should be increasing to reflect that. Then presumably you'd cover each other's extra leave, and earn more time off, and on and on and on!

Youhadrambledonfor18pages · 12/06/2026 14:09

I’d be saying “I’m going to have to withdraw my offer of covering those days for you. It was really inconvenient for me but I decided to put myself out because you were covering for me. Now that is no longer the case then I cannot continue to inconvenience myself when the arrangement is not reciprocated.”

Tryagain26 · 12/06/2026 14:10

I don't think either of you is obliged to cover for the other.

If you are on leave then you are on leave. If you weren't in a job share and on leave there would be no one to cover.
I don't think it should be reciprocal either. Whoever covers gets extra salary if they don't want to or can't cover then say no, if you can cover and want the extra cash say yes.
It's your employer's job to manage cover neither you or your job share partner should feel you have to cover. People who work in job shares do it because they don't want to work full time.

Pessismistic · 12/06/2026 14:10

Hi op this is shitty behaviour from her but like others said she’s letting down her employer not you. She thinks she’s got one over you but she has basically just shot her self in the foot because next time she asks you can just say no speak to manager about it, It’s not convenient for me. Op she thinks she’s clever but she’s pretty stupid tbh. Fuck her as long as you get your leave when you want it that is what matters most also them dates you have said yes to if you can cover do them but nearer the time if you fancy staying off don’t cover she’s been a bitch but your employer will notice her not cooperating.

ACIGC · 12/06/2026 14:22

What would they do if this wasn't a job share and was one person, who can't cover themselves? That's what needs to be done here. Either stuff gets paused or delegated out.

CordeliaNaismithVorkosigan · 12/06/2026 14:26

Are you the colleague, @Longbrightriver? It's perfectly obvious why OP is annoyed.

Longbrightriver · 12/06/2026 14:30

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Whattodo127845 · 12/06/2026 14:32

Youhadrambledonfor18pages · 12/06/2026 14:09

I’d be saying “I’m going to have to withdraw my offer of covering those days for you. It was really inconvenient for me but I decided to put myself out because you were covering for me. Now that is no longer the case then I cannot continue to inconvenience myself when the arrangement is not reciprocated.”

100% THIS!!

Sunloungerhogger · 12/06/2026 14:33

I might be missing something but how does it negatively impact you if she doesn’t ‘cover’ your days? - as presumably you’re still entitled to take the annual leave whether or not she wants to/is able to work the extra days (and get paid extra). And surely by the same token there’s no onus on you to ‘cover’ her days, you just choose if you want to work those extra days for extra pay, or she’s just off anyway? As presumably it’s otherwise the same if it weren’t a job share - if you’re taking annual leave the business has to absorb the absence from elsewhere?

Isitevensummer · 12/06/2026 14:37

what you do really depends on your managers attitude. If the agreement is that you cannot bother being off at the same time, I would send her the following.

Hi job share partner. Thanks for updating me about your availability. Given that you have now had to rescind your cover of my time off, I think wll have to put all cover days on hold until we can discuss a fair and equitable approach with manager.

JoshLymanSwagger · 12/06/2026 14:41

I asked her in Jan to cover my 2 week holiday in July and she agreed
@JobShareDrama This^
From your first post SHE agreed. If she's gone back on that then that's on her.
Cancel all her cover dates that don't fit in with your life outside work. (childcare, birthdays, medical apts, long weekends etc).
Email your manager and say from now on, as she will no longer cover your days, your reciprocal agreement ends and you won't cover hers.

Isitevensummer · 12/06/2026 14:45

should read "both be off"

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 12/06/2026 14:49

Id explain that you can only (and will) cover on a reciprocal basis only. If she can't cover you, you will not cover her.

poetryandwine · 12/06/2026 14:49

You need a private conversation with your manager, OP. Whilst hugely annoying, if you have been free to turn down this woman’s requests and if she isn’t preventing your AL with this sudden change of heart, on the face of it she isn’t obviously hurting you.

And her timings make me wonder about that. Is there an unwritten rule you could be unaware of? Could something else be going on? I mean, we all dislike her intensely at this point but if you get paid for the extra hours and if you are free to turn them down, the only real issue is if she knows something you don’t.

If she needs to request cover so frequently that she’ll look bad if you don’t step in, all the better.

RVectensian · 12/06/2026 14:50

JobShareDrama · 12/06/2026 13:42

If we work each others days we get paid for the extra hours. If I take it off, I get paid holiday.

You are right that the manager needs to sort it out. TBH I’m getting annoyed with her attitude toward me in general (she seems to think we are in a competition of who’s better at the job) and it’s tiresome. It seems a bit “ha ha, I’ve got one over you”.

She has left me in the lurch, but I now no longer care. The manager can sort it.

I’m definitely not going to cover at short notice for her anymore, or for her days off, the manager can sort it. I’m not sure about the dates I’ve agreed to. On one hand I know I’m being taken for a mug, on the other I’ll earn more, and I’ve said I’ll do it.

Whilst I am a mug, she’s also stupid. You’d think she’d want me on side, since I’ve done her so many favours. She seems to go to great lengths to get other people at work on her side, but the person she works closest with - me, she seems to view me as a threat and now she’s pissed me off.

Edited

I would have replied with "oh sorry, I thought these were the dates you wanted covering in exchange for my holiday. If you can't do my holiday any more you won't be expecting me to cover you now anyway."

sheisforrealatiger · 12/06/2026 14:54

CastleCrasher · 12/06/2026 12:39

"Disappointed to hear this, CheekyBitch, especially as you had already agreed. I'll discuss with management as my holiday is already booked and arrangements made on the basis of your agreement to cover. As you've changed the arrangement, I may need to make other arrangements for (days you said you'd cover) so would suggest you make alternative arrangements for cover"

This and I especially think you should include “CheekyBitch” in place of her name 😂

I just read your update. Cover the dates if you want the extra money and they’re all planned ahead, but definitely never cover for her again last minute!

Itsseweasy · 12/06/2026 14:56

JobShareDrama · 12/06/2026 13:42

If we work each others days we get paid for the extra hours. If I take it off, I get paid holiday.

You are right that the manager needs to sort it out. TBH I’m getting annoyed with her attitude toward me in general (she seems to think we are in a competition of who’s better at the job) and it’s tiresome. It seems a bit “ha ha, I’ve got one over you”.

She has left me in the lurch, but I now no longer care. The manager can sort it.

I’m definitely not going to cover at short notice for her anymore, or for her days off, the manager can sort it. I’m not sure about the dates I’ve agreed to. On one hand I know I’m being taken for a mug, on the other I’ll earn more, and I’ve said I’ll do it.

Whilst I am a mug, she’s also stupid. You’d think she’d want me on side, since I’ve done her so many favours. She seems to go to great lengths to get other people at work on her side, but the person she works closest with - me, she seems to view me as a threat and now she’s pissed me off.

Edited

I don’t think it sounds like she sees you as a threat, it sounds like she sees you as a pushover. Hence treating you like shit whilst sucking up to everyone else?

Woodfiresareamazing2 · 12/06/2026 14:59

JobShareDrama · 12/06/2026 13:42

If we work each others days we get paid for the extra hours. If I take it off, I get paid holiday.

You are right that the manager needs to sort it out. TBH I’m getting annoyed with her attitude toward me in general (she seems to think we are in a competition of who’s better at the job) and it’s tiresome. It seems a bit “ha ha, I’ve got one over you”.

She has left me in the lurch, but I now no longer care. The manager can sort it.

I’m definitely not going to cover at short notice for her anymore, or for her days off, the manager can sort it. I’m not sure about the dates I’ve agreed to. On one hand I know I’m being taken for a mug, on the other I’ll earn more, and I’ve said I’ll do it.

Whilst I am a mug, she’s also stupid. You’d think she’d want me on side, since I’ve done her so many favours. She seems to go to great lengths to get other people at work on her side, but the person she works closest with - me, she seems to view me as a threat and now she’s pissed me off.

Edited

If you'd like to earn the extra money, then cover her on the dates you've already agreed to. Because it works for YOU.

If you're just really pissed off with how she's treated you (as I would be), and the money's not that important, then message her and tell her you are no longer able to cover the dates she sent you.

And then let your manager know she's now saying she can't cover your holiday, and that the manager will need to arrange cover for each of you going forward.

Fidbdfb · 12/06/2026 15:08

You are being a mug. Id tell her I wouldn't be covering any of her days going forward.

honeylulu · 12/06/2026 15:09

She sounds annoying and cheeky but ...

If you get paid extra for providing cover but not if you don't, I'm not really sure what the problem is.

Providing cover helps your employer out but what difference does it make to either of you? Or is it that no cover means your work piles up and is a nightmare in your return? So she gets a nice easy return to work after a holiday but you don't?

I think what I'd do (though may depend on your answers to the above) is tell her that agreeing cover between you isn't working so you won't make any further agreements with her. I expect your employer will then ask you about cover and you can make a decision based on whether you want the extra money rather than not wanting to be annoyed by her unreciprocated requests.

Bridesmaidorexfriend · 12/06/2026 15:13

I would reply and say ‘Hey, that’s a shame, thanks for letting me know. Unfortunately I will have to recind my offer to cover your dates, the dates were difficult for me to cover but I had wanted to help as you were covering for me and I was grateful, but as I now have to sort alternative cover I need to prioritise that, thanks anyway.’

theemmadilemma · 12/06/2026 15:17

BeardySchnauzer · 12/06/2026 12:42

Yep I’d respond and say ‘on the basis it doesn’t appear to be a mutual agreement anymore then I won’t be able to cover your dates and we will need to speak to management to agree what to do regarding cover in future’

it shouldn’t be up to the two of you to do favours for each other. Your management should have a plan for covering holidays

This.

bigboykitty · 12/06/2026 15:22

I'd just say 'no problem, I can no longer cover your dates either'. And then just decline any future requests.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 12/06/2026 15:24

Loulou4022 · 12/06/2026 12:36

I don’t think there’s much you can do now that you’ve agreed to her dates however any future days I would be refusing to cover! Ever!

Why on earth not? The CF did exactly this to the OP!

Mary28 · 12/06/2026 15:26

Sorry after this:

I agreed to them all, and on doing so she immediately sent me a return message saying she can no longer cover my holiday, leaving me in the lurch.

I would immediately reply and say I can no longer cover for your dates as I now have to completely change my plans since I no longer have cover for my time off. Good luck to her.

Why in the name of god would you put yourself out for her if she can't cover for you. It's a two way street. Unless the reason is someone is dying and she needs to be there. I'd need an explanation. It also sounds manipulative of her no?