A man unlocked a changing room door whilst I was inside. Health club

[GymClassZero]

I went to my gym and used the disabled changing and shower room (it also has a toilet). I have mobility issues and need the aids provided here. The room is between the male and female changing rooms and can be accessed from both sides, so both doors need to be locked from inside.

I locked both doors and was getting ready to shower. While I was inside, I heard men talking on the other side of the door. One tried the handle, it was locked. He said to his friend he wanted to use the room. Another man said ‘there might already be someone in there because the door is locked’. The first man then said words to the effect of, ‘Nah, fuck the women, it’s been left locked. I’m going in there’.

Seconds later, I watched the lock unwind as it was being manipulated from the outside. He opened the door while I was inside in my swimwear. He was surprised to see me in there. I shouted at him to get out, got dressed and reported it immediately.

The gym has investigated. They’ve accepted the member accessed the disabled changing room inappropriately but they are not banning him. They say he has been spoken to and warned not to use that facility again.

They’ve also said they are replacing the locks to something more up to date than the current basic lock, and reviewing the signage on the doors.

I’m glad they’re changing the locks, but I’m angry that this is being partly framed around confusion, signage and lock issues

He was warned someone might be inside. The door was locked.

He could have knocked and waited. Instead, he chose to interfere with a locked private changing room door and enter.

I’m left feeling pretty upset and a bit traumatised by the whole incident. I really don’t want to bump into him again in the gym As he’s quite intimidating. I’ve seen him in the gym, he’s quite loud and has a certain vibe about him.

I also found out there have been previous issues with this changing room setup, which makes me even more concerned.

AIBU to expect stronger action from the gym, and to feel that a warning is not enough in these circumstances?

ideally I’d like to see him banned as it was an accident.

(The gym have confirmed he is not disabled and should not be using the disabled facilities).

No ofc not, a shower would be obviously in use. How long do you monitor?

You ARE defending a man.

vote with your feet. Change gyms.

I'd have just spoken up when I heard them discussing whether it was occupied.

I'm defending common sense! Whether it was a man or a woman
A changing area is a shared space, sometimes people will want to use it and not be sure of it's in use when it can be accessed by both sides. You use your WORDS. He didn't do.anythint once he came across her that would obviously be totally different.

I feel like I'm on an alternate universe where no posters have ever had anyone try a door on them? Or discuss it someone's in there? I've had this countless times and you simply signal you're in there and it's fine. I genuinely can't comprehend standing mutely inside for no reason, not even just making a noise?

OK so the deaf person needs to keep their eyes peeled on the lock whilst changing and toileting etc?

When I'm using a public facility I don't expect someone to come calling out every few minutes to check someone hasn't passed out in there - do you? Its ridiculous. People are just making up shit arguments to have a go at the OP who did nothing wrong.

I agree with this. The man was clearly in the wrong here. The gym need to fix this ridiculous lock situation Asap.

^ exactly this.
Everyone knows this.
If you can't get your head around the undressed woman - big angry man scenario, try remembering being a smaller school child and the known bully or strutting bigger kid arriving where you are. Do you pre-emptively warn them off? No, you hope they don't notice you and move along.

You're right. This is a bad design. That room should have a single door available to all. It's current design means routinely one or other door will be left locked meaning one or other sex can't access it.

The gym need to change the design not ban people. OP needs to shout out in such situations.

If they're about to enter the changing room you're in naked then you kinda want them to notice it's occupied. Ridiculous levels of drama in here lol.

This must be UK thing. I've tried doors many times when they've been occupied and the occupier says and does nothing because the locked door is the only signal required. Sure if a someone started calling out ' everything OK in there' or something they would answer if they could, but the standard etiquette is that if you try and the door is locked you quietly back away.

I mean in a small changing area this is usually not a conscious thing no? You see if someone jolts the door or whatever. I'm not sure, given OP isn't deaf, why it's relevant why she listened to a conversation explicitly about them thinking the room was empty and said nothing? It's not about calling out every few minutes either, simply obviously if someone tries the door thinking it's available or asks from the outside, which is common in shared spaces, sometimes the occupied signal is worn off or shows as halfway. There's nothing wrong with checking if a room is in use, as long as you don't force beyond knowing someone's in there? You say sorry and leave them to it. Listening to a conversation about thinking a room is empty and has been erroneously left locked from one side is bloody obvious to speak up..I'm not saying the OP.did something wrong, I just don't think the man who was surprised someone was actually in there should be banned when OP isn't a deaf person or anyone who couldn't justify using her words. And before you say "well he should have been banned in theory because of a made up alternative set of circumstances" the world doesn't work like that.

@Fancythatfancyhat
All the signs?
Except the most important one - the fact that the door was actually locked!!

That's odd to me, it's perfectly normal to call out a quick "sorry in here!". The only time I've ever tried a door and heard nothing and decided to leave it a few minutes eventually I try again and the door wasn't actually locked as I thought it was.

It’s a real incident that happened to me very recently. I take all comments on board, apart from the ones implying I am lying.

i

But if you hear them discussing whether it's empty then you need to tell them it's not. This really isn't a difficult situation.

Except she already said it opens form both sides and is often left erroneously locked at one side!! Different if it was the only door.

It was a mad set up with both sexes using one facility.

Radar keys were introduced because people misused the bigger, private space for sex or drugs. Could this be the case for the urge to use this space?

Single sex toilet cubicles with a 15cm floor to door gap overcome these problems as the small bit of visibility prevents misuse, enables to see if the toilet is occupied and how many people are in there and crucially enables quicker rescue if someone has a cardiac arrest (11% are in toilets), stroke, seizure, hypo and is on the floor. Ventilation and cleaning is improved and it is scientifically proven that there are less pathogens than a unisex toilet. However this design is only permitted by the Health and Safety Executive if it is in a single sex environment. Single sex design does save lives. In a gym, I think this is particularly important to note.

On the other side, it’s an essential information.
Because the power imbalance between strong abled man vs disabled woman ‘arguing’ about the use of a disabled changing room suddenly isn’t quite the same.

Also forcing your way in a changing room you’re not entitled to, something he clearly has done many times (as he knows people often forget to remove the lock on the men’s side) makes things worse again.

A man!

I mean, someone's else's disabilities aren't ever relevant to other members of my gym tbh. I haven't declared to my gym my own health disabilities didn't realise I had to, I thought I could just use the facilities I need?

I’m sorry some people feel it’s my fault somehow. I am grateful I’ve never been in this position before so I’ve never had to think about how I would react.

i do have a mild brain injury and so my speech is a little delayed. This, along with not being up for a fight, probably contributed to my lack of words.

it all happened in seconds, not minutes.

there is also a shower in this room. I was about to use it, and if I had, then I wouldn’t have heard any of this pre amble, and would’ve just be confronted with a man opening a locked door, whilst I was naked in the shower. Would that be my fault too?

I will concentrate on getting the gym to update this facility as quickly as possible.

@GymClassZero Is it an independent run gym? Or is it part of a chain? (David Lloyd, Bannatynes etc). If part of a chain immediately report it to HQ. Changing room/shower facilities should categorically not be able to be opened from the outside by members. (Should be key only by staff in emergency situations. E.g if emergency cord is pulle/there is cause for concern).

I would not let this drop.

Do you think it's acceptable to force a locked door because you can't hear anyone in there? Is this something you would do at a gym, cafe, shopping center?