AIBU to think school should allow reduced hours for my son?

[teenagerlegproblems]

Ds (year 9) is having a lot of leg problems, pain, fatigue. We have seen the GP and have a referral to physio. In the meantime we are just having to manage as best we can. DS is not sleeping well due to the pain so until the physio appt at the end of the month (on the Gp recommendation) we let the school know that DS will need a reduced timetable.

They’ve said no. That he has to attend or it won’t be authorised. I paid £60 for a GP letter to explain and they still said no. We had said that he can only manage each day up till 130 (so he will miss the last two lessons), we checked his timetable and these are the ones that are less important (all double lessons) PE, citizenship, French (he is already fluent) and RE (he can do this work at home).

I feel they are being very difficult. They’ve said they won’t ‘release’ him to us as he’s legally required to be there till 330. So far they have done but have said from Monday this will not be the case? Do I just keep him off then ?

I agree with both these previous posters. Is the pain localised in one leg? Extreme pain and fatigue needs further investigation. Have you had a second opinion?

Get him referred immediately my son had these symptoms when he was six. After the GP fobbing him off a number of times we brought him to AE and they admitted him, he had cancer, non-Hodgkin lymphoma. He made a full recovery by insist on further tests.

I'm so so glad dd leaves school next week they are getting more ridiculous by the year regarding genuinely sick children. They refused to let dd leave after her GCSE yesterday, despite being on study leave and despite having bled through her tights and skirt during the exam. They eventually rang me and released her after confirming she was allowed to walk home alone. She's almost 17 and has walked home from school since year 7.

Sorry going off on a tangent… what happened to him?

Has he had any blood tests to rule out the likes of Leukaemia etc?

If there is evidence that his condition would meet evidence of disability under the equality act (sounds like it would depending on length of time he has had these difficulties) I would go in with very clear plans backed by legislation. If possible get gp to say that it would meet criteria (if this is the case).

My daughter had leg pain that woke her up for a few years, she used to wake crying. It was both legs which is less of a red flag for things like cancer or serious bone infection. The doctor said 'growing pains', but it turned out to be a symptom of inflammatory bowel disease. Apparently it (IBD) can cause pain in legs, especially at night, due to iron deficiency.

This was before she had obvious bowel symptoms.

Since the IBD has been treated she's never had the pains at night.

Fwiw you can request an IHCP. I personally think half days for undiagnosed leg pain is a bit much - most secondary schools are finished by 3 anyway. A compromise might be to request half days on PE and French afternoons, and a reduction in homework expectations until they get to the bottom of what's going on.

My daughter was so ill that she wasn't able to walk more than 100 yards without getting a stitch and breathlessness by the time she was diagnosed, she was only in year 7 at the time. She always attended school but I took her there and back, and she was allowed to stay in and rest over lunch break.

The process to get a reduced timetable agreed (and the limits on it) is very convoluted and is likely to be shot down by the LA for everything but the most serious illnesses - and they'll still try to argue that 'of course she'll be able to come in for the PM session straight from chemo', for example.

For example, it can only be for a short, set period of time (no more than six weeks is the usual maximum), there have to be multiple panel meetings fully minuted before it starts, a whole bundle of lengthy forms to complete including a full risk assessment of the family home and persons within - and if a kid is still ill at the end of the 4th week when they have to hold a formal review meeting with reports and separate assessments to evidence educational progress in that period, tough, the school has to have them back fulltime in ten days if they want to avoid the LA accusing them of illegal exclusion.

Having sore legs and tiredness with no indication of inflammation on bloods - so unlikely to be an inflammatory condition, assuming a full test was done - is not likely to be accepted by the LA, even if the school were very keen for it.

As his symptoms do correlate with autoimmune diseases, did the GP add CRP to his bloods? The standard tests only have ESR. Rheumatoid Factor tends to be ignored even if it's positive and assorted antigen tests can show negative even when there is autoimmune disease. Another possibility is whether he is hypermobile, as it's tiring and painful to stand/walk/just exist with connective tissue diseases, particularly if it's never been considered as a possibility and he needs orthotics and joint stabilising exercises.

What is the plan for when he gets home? Is he going to sleep or sit watching TV / computer game? Likely best off staying in school for the afternoon … they’re home by 3.30 anyway.

Agree with pp if your sons in so much pain he can't sleep and go to school for a full day you need to go private and get more tests done. My nephew was told he was fine and bloods were fine but he had lodgekins lymphoma.

Good grief, I have no advice OP except to say I can’t believe the school are saying that. How utterly ridiculous to force a sick and in pain 13yo to stay for lessons he wouldn’t be able to partake in fully anyway due to fatigue. Makes me so angry!

That was an urgent referral apparently physio is usually at least 3-4 months wait so we were lucky

I don't understand he will be sitting at school during those lessons or sitting at home. It makes no difference where he is. If it was PE yes 100% sit it out

I think what you are asking for is called “flexi school”. Schools aren’t required to give consent to flexi school. It’s up to them to decide whether to agree.

How does he manage at the weekend or during school holidays?

It’s quite clear, if the GP hasn’t any idea what’s wrong because bloods and X-ray was normal, then they’ve just referred to physio to get you off their back.

I’d put money on it that when the physio appointment finally comes through, they won’t have any idea either.

What happens when you’ve tried paracetamol and cold pack etc?

He sleeps at home he needs an afternoon nap due to such poor sleep at night. We told the GP this

As a disabled person who experiences bouts of severe pain, the main focus should be getting it under control so he can sleep properly.
I used to go back to school three weeks after having an eight hour operation and my arm or leg broken in three places. Granted in a chair but trust me I was knackered and in pain, but school took my mind off it a bit.

Go to your MP. You can argue with the governors, and maybe they’ll give in, but ultimately we need national policy to change. We need MPs to raise questions and make a difference. Don’t let it go.

Ask the school to show you the Act of Parliament that says your child can’t be released to you. There are protocols like safeguarding or a court order.

they can refuse if it violates their statutory duty to provide educational hours.

maybe the afternoon nap is preventing your child from sleeping at night time.

just because your child doesn’t need those lessons, doesn’t mean they don’t need to attend.

they can put their head down on the table and have a nap in school and then the school can call you as he is unwell.

definitely push for more tests and repeat tests as it is not normal and GP can send to consultants in hospital

You can't seriously expect school to be happy for him to miss 10 lessons a week for the foreseeable future?

I had similar my local MP helped and school eventually approved

This is a good shout.

Further to Cioccoholic‘s comment, when DD1 was struggling after an epilepsy diagnosis in year 9 her school encouraged a reduced day. They suggested leaving partway through the final lesson (after the teaching element of the lesson) and going home to sleep and doing the self study part of the lesson later at home. Some schools are very supportive,

Your DS is not getting the appropriate medical care he needs. That is the issue and where you should be focusing your energy. Ask the school to help (hence school nurse being such a great shout).

I'm a bit confused, op. Is it that he just can't bear the pain anymore by 1.30 or is it to facilitate a needed nap?
If it's the exhaustion, I get your concern but life throws these things at us (you're a mother so you know) and sometimes you just have to get on with crippling tiredness. The workplace, in future, won't make allowances for it, unfortunately, so helicoptering now won't help.
If it's about not being able to deal with the pain any longer, I'd be looking at better pain medication as he'll be in just as much pain at home.
It must be so hard to watch your child in pain. If only rules could be tailor-made.