AIBU to think school should allow reduced hours for my son?

[teenagerlegproblems]

Ds (year 9) is having a lot of leg problems, pain, fatigue. We have seen the GP and have a referral to physio. In the meantime we are just having to manage as best we can. DS is not sleeping well due to the pain so until the physio appt at the end of the month (on the Gp recommendation) we let the school know that DS will need a reduced timetable.

They’ve said no. That he has to attend or it won’t be authorised. I paid £60 for a GP letter to explain and they still said no. We had said that he can only manage each day up till 130 (so he will miss the last two lessons), we checked his timetable and these are the ones that are less important (all double lessons) PE, citizenship, French (he is already fluent) and RE (he can do this work at home).

I feel they are being very difficult. They’ve said they won’t ‘release’ him to us as he’s legally required to be there till 330. So far they have done but have said from Monday this will not be the case? Do I just keep him off then ?

contrariwise to a previous poster

I was in agony in secondary school through my GCSEs and my parents just sent me in and it left me with depression and anxiety and I tried to kill myself because I didn’t want to live with at much pain.

and then my grandma paid for an operation and it turned out I didn’t have to live a life with that much pain in it at all it could be fixed.

don’t force a kid into school with pain just so he learns life is tough.

My child is on a reduced timetable till 12. For a school to authorise it it has to be a last resort, formal meetings need to take place, the educational welfare officer involved.....it also has to be reviewed regularly, its a hard process.
I would ask what adjustments adjustments are being made in school to manage his pain first.

Is the school questioning whether your son is ill, or the extent of his illness?

I don't mean to imply this is true in your case at all, but one thing schools are trained to look out for is parents and carers who exaggerate or invent medical problems in their children - obviously this is a form of abuse.

It's also very, very difficult to prove.

If school do suspect this, they are not dealing with it the right way - they need to share their concerns with you and work out what evidence would satisfy them, so that you can provide that. They should also be in touch with your son's GP if they suspect this - do you know if they have been?

They’ve had a letter from the GP so they will know it’s genuine

My dc had a leg problem in year 8 and school was fabulous - they never questioned any time off (admittedly she didn’t take much) but they actually reorganised all her classes so they were on the ground floor for two whole terms while she was recovering. They said if ever it was too much for her pain/energy wise, she could go to student support and take a break. Additionally she was given leave to have a “queue pass” with a +1 so she and and a friend didn’t have to stand and queue. She was given a “form pass” so she could be inside at break. And a “corridor pass” so she could leave class five mins early and arrive five mins late when corridors were quiet so she wouldn’t be jostled.

Her school is the kind of place that hands out a mini detention if you forget your ruler so I was astonished by their kindness and jumping ahead of what might help her to be in school and recover. It genuinely made her happier to go, and she tried harder to attend and do her physio because she was getting a lot of support in school

I am just making the point because not all state schools find it necessary to be petty and unsupportive.

Problems that means he can't sleep at night is unlikely to be resolved with physio

What diagnosis does he gave. What tests have been done? I'd be much more concerned about sorting the health issues than dealing with the school.

Just take him out of school once he’s got his afternoon mark. They get their two attendance ticks per day and he’s home at 1:30pm

Remind the school of their legal duty to
make reasonable adjustments.

Ask that as they are saying a shorter day isn’t reasonable what else they are going to put in place. Suggest things like room changes so he doesn’t have to be walking around the building.

Agree with this.... What investigations are they doing?
What pain relief are they offering?

It does sound a bit passive to wait till the end of the month

Have you asked to do 'flexi schooling'? You would need to show that you're completing work at home whilst he's not in school. I would suggest asking to meet his Head of Year /SLT and see what they can offer going forward. A friend's daughter did this - school were brilliant- and she's now slowly returning to full timetable.

God I’m genuinely sickened by a lot of the advice on here. Is this really what society has become. School is so important that we have to fuel an exhausted child in chronic pain with painkillers so he can build resilience. And this is exactly why so many people commit suicide yearly, because everyone treats them as the problem if they’re “weak”. Maybe if we showed compassion and empathy more people would be ok to expose their weaknesses and people around them can build them up instead of putting sticking plasters over things and hoping things will be ok. Utterly disgusting.
fight for your child, discuss with IPSEA who will give you guidance. I really hope you can get your son some help and answers soon, it must be very worrying.

That's dreadful OP. My son had Epstein-Barr Virus whilst in Year 9, it's the same virus that causes Glandular Fever, so the symptoms were very similar. My son's school were fantastic, and allowed him to be on a reduced timetable. He left at lunchtime, but only missed 1 lesson and tutor time per day. Is there any way, you could compromise, so it's only 1 lesson he misses, rather than 2? You may have to go to the LEA.

Have you talked to the school nurse? (Nursing service) They may be able to help.

Seek another GP’s opinion. Physio won’t help sounds like the problem is deeper. Go back and see another opinion from a more experienced GP, your child needs paed referral.

This. Has he had blood tests and referral to a paediatrician? Adolescent leg pains can be a red flag symptom particularly if they are stopping him from sleeping. I hope the GP hasn’t fobbed you off with a physio appointment before further investigation?

You can contact your local authority and ask for Section 19 provision as it's a medical condition which is affecting his ability to access education. That normally enables the school to put these sorts of adjustments in place as it's not then 'just' the parent asking for a reduced timetable etc. I'm also thinking that the GP letter isn't precise enough and because you've paid for it school would perhaps try to say that you have then influenced how it's worded.
School can do reduced timetables etc but they then have to justify why they are doing it and it's normally a short term solution, which would also be difficult to ascertain how long it would continue for as the physio etc isn't happening yet.
Also worth asking GP to refer to pain management.

@teenagerlegproblemshas your son had any blood tests? X-rays? An MRI or CT of his leg? I would be pushing for more than just a physio appointment if the leg pain is also causing fatigue.

I don’t want to alarm you but when my best friend at school was 10, she had leg pain, she had developed osteosarcoma of the lower leg (a bone cancer which is common in young people) and needed surgery & chemo. Luckily she survived. So bloods & scans are what the doctors used for diagnosis.

Also one possibility is that your son may have developed a type of arthritis which could need a specific drug treatment. So definitely bloods would be helpful.

I really would take your son back to the gp, or if they’re not very proactive then a different gp, to get to the bottom of what is causing the leg pain & fatigue. Pain on its own is one thing but fatigue with it is really not normal.

That's not why I asked about pain relief. It's because if he is in too much pain to sleep even with pain relief then he needs investigations now not physio in a month

Look if he had cancer they wouldn’t be quibbling it. It all sounds a bit vague, there appears to be no precise diagnosis and he has only been referred for physio and not to a 2nd care specialist. The school would be justified in believing that a serious physical cause has been excluded on what you have said this far. How much of this is physical and how much is psychological? Unexplained abdominal pains are often anxiety related. A reduced timetable is not necessarily the way to go if this is an avoidance mechanism of some kind. Getting to the root of the problem is.

He has had x rays and full blood count they were both normal. The GP recommended paracetamol, ibuprofen, ibuprofen gel and hot or cold compresses. They said they can’t give anything stronger and that the physio can refer to the paediatrician if they think it’s necessary

I would not be waiting for a shit NHS physio appointment. Pay to take him to a private physio if it is causing him this many issues. A lot of injuries don’t show on an xray and the physio may support you in pushing for the right assessments/treatments

Funny how everyone on here saying he needs to just push through/develop resilience seem to know better than the medical professionals looking after him..

Agree with this too
Rather than faffing around paying for GP letters I would pay for a private physio assessment

Hardly anyone on this thread is suggesting he pushes through

Lots of people are saying (rightly) that a month is far too long to wait for physio/further investigation

I am all for children missing school if they need to. But this is clearly a situation where parents should be pushing for more and better medical support

Always be wary of "bloods are normal". My bloods were "normal" for nearly a decade before drs did the correct blood test! (Not pain related, but it's so important to not assume "bloods normal" is a clean bill of health)