I know you will say I am but here goes.......

[Kimi]

I am the one with the DH1 and the new DP
DH1 and I together 23 years 2 lovely kids then drifted apart.... Still love the the man to bits, just can't be a couple right now, we are however still a family and do a lot together see each other every day and get on so much better now.

I have a new DP who was a friend for a long time to DH1 and I, and who loves me and looks after me and my children and gets on well with DH1 (to whom I am still married)

Any way we did not shout our break up from the roof tops, friends and family know but a lot of people don't.

So DS2 is a beaver and as far as everyone at beavers knows Mr and Mrs Kimi are just that, there is one woman leader who has no concept of personal space and every time she speaks to DH1 she is about half and inch away and has to touch his arm, if you knew my DH1 you would know he does not like this.
So we have seen this woman a few times out side of beavers and she has been all DH1 this and DH1 that and has totally blanked me (I find this rude because as far as she knows I am his wife and we are happy).
She is also married so really should not be so um.... "friendly" with other men.
DH1 finds it uncomforitable and I find it bugs me.
A friend of mine who knows about the split says she is just like that, but I see her like that with DH1 more then any of the other dads.

I am not trying to have my cake and eat it, and I am not throwing my toys out of the pram but to put it bluntly she pisses me off by being so bloody rude, If I see anyone I know when I am out who is with their partner I will always acknowlage the partner too.

Talk some reason in to me please ladies.

Lol at 'Imaprattoo' so you think that you're all prats on here bablefish?

And now I'm sniggering at the double meaning of plumping the pillows.

I'm a 34 yr old mother of 2. It's sad really.

LOL hecate.

Shall I tell him to bring the camcorder...youtube here I come [smirk]

No sweetheart, Most real mumsnetters are lovely people..
You on the other hand well.... I thought it would be too much to say you should change it to
IMARUDECUNT

Ormirian - it's unacceptable to leave someone you claim to 'love to bits' What I am getting at is she is lying when she says she loves her ex - if she did she would not be in a sexual relationship with her husbands 'mate' whilst still married. (She would get divorced and admit the love had gone). She cannot even admit to everyone that she has split from her husband! Why? because she must be ashamed and with good reason!

IMA can I just ask you what it is about my life that offends you so....

The fact that after 20 years my marriage failed
The fact I left
The fact I have someone else now
The fact that this persom was a friend of the family
The fact I don't hate my childrens father

What, I really don't get why you are so offended by my life

When I sleep around, don't know who the father of my children is, drink/smoke/gamble/shoot up the family allowence, beat my children, abuse my children,mug old ladies, abuse muslims/people of other colour/races/gays
then I could see you haveing a problem, all I did was leave a marriage, meet someone new and object to someone being rude...

I don't get why you are so mad at me

Kimi - how would you feel if your ex began sleeping with one of your friends? (assuming you have some in rl)

I love my mum, my sister, my kids to bits but I have no desire to sleep with them

I am not ashamed that we split, or that I have a new DP I just don't see why I would need to tell everyone...

Hello, DH and I have split up....nice day today, have you seen the price of eggs?

lol at you lumping people who sleep around with racists,homophobes and child abusers!

LOL I have real life friends thank you.
DH can sleep with whom ever he likes, most of my girlfriends are married already though....I have a single male friend...should I fix him up with DH1

Kimi - so why do you need to keep banging on about the sad sorry little mess on here?

Ever considered she may know everything and think you're a horrid user who's keeping her DH hanging on waiting for when she's 'ready to come home'...........
haven't read thread.

My GOD, what is WRONG with you? you are being really VILE to Kimi. "assuming you have some in rl" where the fuck do you get off being so hateful?

Kimi's done nothing to you, has she? It's no skin off your nose if she shags her local football team (and the cheerleaders - hell, and the big furry mascot too!) in the town square! How does it hurt you in any way? Why does the life of a stranger bring out such venom from you? Something very wrong with you, imo.

And in answer to your original post - if your 'husband' is bothered by this woman he should deal with it, not his adulterous wife! As you pointed out 'in the eyes of the law you are still married'.

I took the too in that sentence to mean as well as anything else you might be (parent, idiot, silly little woman etc).

Kimi, you've done nothing to be ashamed of and neither has your DP or ex. The only people having anything to be ashamed of is the Beaver lady and imaprattoo.

My partner is still married even though they've been separated for 5 1/2 years because his ex won't give him a divorce (new man, second child by him on the way), although this time she has no choice. We could have put our lives on hold until he was a single man but they way we see it he is single. His marriage is over and he (and the ex) don't need a piece of paper from a judge to tell them that. They've moved on with their lives and don't want to be together anymore. I have been shocked though by the attitude of some people about it. I even had an anonymous email through our daughters memorial site telling me what a terrible person I am to be with a married man and that he will never leave his wife for me!

Anyway, I'm not trying to hijack, just offer some back up and to tell some people to BUTT OUT!

No, you are not being unreasonable. As far as this woman is concerned your ex is off limits and should not be pursuing him in this way. If it is just her way then she is still being inappropriate, but maybe no one has ever told her - not that I'm excusing her.

BTW, two partners in that time is pretty good, I don't think you have a morals issue at all! I'd like to know how many people who bash you have had.

I can think of plenty of men who I'm not related to who I love to bits. In fact three off the top of my head who looked out for me when my partner was on secondment for three months until recently. I really don't want to get any of them into bed! One's married, one is known as a dwarf (because he does RPG etc and looks like one) which is not really my type and they're all a little old for me!

Tinkerbelle - number of sexual partners has nothing to do with morals, being unfaithful when children are involved has. If roles were reversed and Kimi was a man who had left his wife for a mate of hers and complained that another man was sniffing round the woman he had left he would get slated on here! Double standards? I think so!

I don't think you can ask me about double standards on this issue as I'm with a married man. She was separated, the marriage finished long before she got with her new partner, so she is not cheating on anyone. There are plenty of reasons why people choose to not get divorced, it doesn't mean they are still tied to their spouse and any other relationship is adulterous.

Sorry had to go put the dinner in.
I know in the eyes of the law and our church I am an adulterous wife.
IMA I have not said anything to beaver woman about pawing my childrens father, my issue is she is rude.

I don't think my life is a sad little mess in the least, and I am so so sorry if my use of a open forum is upsetting you... I shall make a note only to ever post about fruit shoots and parking ever again.

I am guessing that someone is or has hurt you badly and that is why you are so angry with the world, or that you are bored and lonley and this is how you get your kicks...who knows you might even have a box of tissues and a big smile...carry on pet

Are you deaf or just stupid, I did not leave DH1 for new DP, I left because we became other people and it is sad but it is done.

There was no OH I want to shag your mate/wife about it, maybe new DP is gay and we dont sleep together.

So how have I hurt my children please do tell me, they have a great life, are happy see both parents every day.....oh god how bad is that, I bet they are writing a book about their terrible childhood as we speak,,,, the abuse the hardship

You either need to have a drink or stop the drinking

HedgeWitch - factually incorrect the marriage has not ended.