What a dick move - am I right?

[TeutoburgForest]

Just got on busy train in London. On a table a man is sat with his bag on the seat next to him and his coat on the seat opposite him - basically making it difficult for people to sit on 2/3 of the remaining free seats. Is this common??

Because when they boarded the train there may have been loads of room, and they then get involved in their work & oblivious to the changing conditions, or dozing, or whatever. You just ask him to move his coat or whatever, ffs

I considered for a moment asking him to sit somewhere else but decided it wee pointless and managed to clamber over his bag and then moved to the next carriage, while he hurled abuse at me for not wanting to sit next to him.

Crikey @dizzydizzydizzy your instincts were on point. Good for you!

I always think it's very telling that when one has that instinct to get away, in what might seem to be an OK situation - the man's response (and it's pretty much always a man) to abuse you is VERY telling. It suggests you weren't overreacting, and you were absolutely right to move away. Men rely on our politeness and our being "nice."

I remember once walking through a park in the summer. I could feel a man was getting closer & closer behind me. I started to get a bit edgy, and I turned around suddenly and sort of half-growled half shouted at him. When I turned around I realised just how close he was behind me.

He veered off, shouting "Don't worry bitch, I wasn't going to attack you." Which suggested to me that that was exactly what he was actually thinking of doing.

Not uncommon. I find on my commute that it’s mainly women doing it with a handbag and tote bag that they don’t want to put on the floor, but yes, some men do it too.

I tend to sit on the aisle seat as the trains have the heating on high and it’s awful sitting next to it.

I’ve no issue letting someone past to sit there but am not sure why they’d be so keen to roast.

This is known in psychology as the fundamental attribution error. Well, it’s one aspect of it.

When we act on a preference it’s reasonable and sensible, if someone else does they are a selfish arsehole.

Very common. Just ask him to move one or the other and sit down. I’m guessing you don’t travel much…

If they refuse, I’d be arguing it all the way. Start with something like “would you like to try and justify why your bag deserves a seat more than a human being?”

But they don’t refuse. I’ve been a daily train commuter for over 20 years, I’ve witnessed countless requests for bags to be moved but have never seen a refusal.

I hate it when people do this on busy commuter services!

I used to ask people politely to move things, but often they pretend not to hear!

Sometimes people even try to reserve the seat next to them with a free newspaper or book!

In recent years I have decided that the only way to deal with this is just to sit on whatever debris they have left behind (if it’s not going to be uncomfortable like a coat) or if it’s a bag etc.. I just pass it them as I sit down!

Hopefully it makes them think twice about doing it again!

I am not standing after purchasing a ticket so a coat/ handbag/ newspaper can ride in their own unticketed seat!

i think if the train isn't busy and there are plenty of seats available i don't think this is a "dick move". If its packed and people are looking for seats it is.
Either way if you need to sit down in one of the seats he has used for his bag and coat. just say excuse me is this seat taken?
Hopefully he'd say no sorry and move his belongings.

Enjoy your happy naive thoughts. Yes many people, particularly regular commuters in this scenario, are extremely calculating and manipulative.

I don’t often go on trains and the one time I’ve ever asked to sit down on a busy train i ended up sat at a block of 3 seats facing each other, me and my two small kids were screeched at by the lady occupying one of the seats. She said her mum was in the loo and would need her seat back. That was fine, there were still two spare seats she could chose from. The lady then started crying, the mum came back from the loo and stared daggers at us for the next two stops until we got off. I think I’d rather stand than endure that ever again.

I prefer an aisle seat for much if the year when the heating is in. It’s not nice sitting against the heater, so I don’t.

It never occurred to me that some mutter might be looking at me thinking I was being calculating or manipulative.

I get what everyone is saying but otoh l hate people sitting next to me in a nearly empty carriage or cafe or park alongside in a near empty carpark.

On slightly longer journeys I like to be in the aisle seat so that I can come and go eg to toilet/ to get a coffee without inconveniencing the other person. I’d rather be inconvenienced by the window person wanting to get out, than be the one causing inconvenience, because I’m happier that way.

How funny that you have such a mean-spirited view of it that you would think you were causing me a problem by going for the window seat! Go for it,

Constant problem with this sort of thing on buses.When trying to get a Priority/Disabled Seat. I have a disabled bus pass.and mobility difficulties

You know when perfectly and very entitled, abled bodied people have set up camp with their shopping and possession, take up 2 orv3 seats and refuse to move

When get off the bus they can carry all their bags without difficulty
And are able to walk really well at quite a brisk pace.

Of course it’s a dick move. He should have noticed the train getting busier and moved his bloody stuff. I always say something in these situations.

This.

it IS a dick move and he's betting that nobody will challenge him. I always say excuse me please, i need to sit down. I recenlty travelled with my parents during rush hour in London. They both stood the entire journey becuase they didn't want to ask anyone to move their bags. Fools.

Oh train non etiquette! It's unbelievable how many people you see sat in the aisle seat with bag on window seat, ear pods in.

Personally I always try to book a window seat (because I like to look out) and expect someone to sit next to me, bonus if no one does.