What a dick move - am I right?

[TeutoburgForest]

Just got on busy train in London. On a table a man is sat with his bag on the seat next to him and his coat on the seat opposite him - basically making it difficult for people to sit on 2/3 of the remaining free seats. Is this common??

I was recently on a very crowded train and a woman sat in the aisle of a two person seat, studiously avoiding eye contact. Eventually someone asked her to allow him in and did she eye roll 🙄

On the same train, the conductor made an announcement that the train was very busy and not to take up seats with bags. He added “If anybody particularly wants their bag to have a seat, I’ll happily come along and sell it a ticket!”

Oh, I can very easily do some man bashing in relation to travelling on trains.... but in this particular isntance, whether or not he's a prat, it's a completely normal thing and people just need to able to use some normal polite words!

Common, yes.

I always just say "excuse me could I sit down please" and they move their stuff, problem solved.

I commute every day and usually put my bag on the seat next to me as it's the most convenient place. However I do fully expect to move it if the train gets crowded and someone asks to sit there.

On the upstairs of a packed bus in Edinburgh last summer a lad about 20 gave up his seat and I was very grateful (recently healed fractured foot).
His mate was trying to give ds his seat but I said there was no need. He was very puzzled and kept checking he didn't need a seat. I'm not THAT old (54) but manners told me the adult should have a seat! Ds10 happily perched on my knee! Came off that bus like I'd completed a ride at Alton Towers....
A reminder why I stuck at driving!.

I'd ask him to move them. If he didn't, I'd move them myself. It's rude, but it's not a dick move to use empty seats until they're needed.

So interesting. I just don’t get why the onus should be on people wanting to sit down to ‘use their words’ rather than people seat hogging to be aware and move their stuff?

Incorrect in some cases. I do this because I like the aisle. And like being able to get to the loo easily. Couldn't give a toss if someone wants the window seat next to me or not!!!

Haha I specifically sit in these seats even if others are free. I ask them to move their stuff and promptly sit down.

Went to Antibes last year and had two people push past me in a supermarket queue - the tiller noticed but served them anyway!

On the other hand people also waved me in front of them when they saw I had fewer items than they did so maybe this is normal?

You would be my dream seat sharer! I hate sitting in the window seat so I always sit in the aisle and leave the window seat free so if someone wants it they can have that one and I can keep the aisle 🙌

id never thought before that someone might think i was spitefully hogging two seats :(

It is so disgustingly selfish! Went to London at the weekend and boarding the train home it was packed, lots of us walking down the carriages trying to find a seat. Quite a few people had bags on seats next to them, you shouldn’t have to ask when they can see people are looking for seats just move your fucking bag! I did ask in the end, but then I had to sit next to them the whole journey knowing full well they didn’t want me next to them and internally raging at what a selfish prick they were 🤣 It was all young men/women doing it on my train.

I used to commute by train. I was near the start of the line so there were plenty of seats. As we approached London, the train got busier and busier and it would always end up with several people having to stand. Despite this, a man who got on at my stop used to always put his bag on the seat next
to him. Even when several people were standing, he just wouldn’t move it. He gave off boss vibes and I suppose people were nervous about asking as virtually no one ever did ask him. So I think this is a behavior that people do. They just hog space and hope nobody is brave enough to say anything so they can keep hogging it even if it’s busy

Because you're the one who wants to sit down? It's just basic communication isn't it. Sure he should've moved his stuff but he didn't. So you tell him you want to sit there.

I'll happily sit on a coat if it's taking up.a seat. They can then ask me for it back

I think it is unusual to put his coat on the seat opposite him. More common to have bag & coat on the seat next to him. I'd still have asked him to move whatever was necessary for me to sit down. What an arsehole, taking 3 seats.

What does this mean though? There is no “onus” on anyone. You might want people to do something but that’s totally meaningless as it doesn’t make them do anything

@TeutoburgForest next time say 'Oh no, someone has gone without their coat.
I'll tell the conductor when he comes.

When the male miscreant says it's his coat give him a hard stare and ask ' have you paid for 3 seats.'

That's very much a you problem.

It doesn't take an extreme amount of bravery to ask and in decades of commuting I've never seen anyone refuse to move their things.

I sat on a guys bag one night. I asked him twice politely to move it and he ignored me so I sat on his poncy satchel.

A lot of people do this in the hope that nobody will challenge them. I got on my train once with my disabled mum and a 6yo and nobody moved their stuff to free up a seat. I asked 3 people if they could please move their bags so we could sit down. A lot of people are just so selfish or thoughtless. (Yes a lot of us put our bags next to us, but always move them when people are boarding).

I agree. Most ppl know that its good manners to buy a round of drinks, or to bring a bottle/ some kind of offering to a party. The onus should be on the person sitting to move their bags if ppl are standing.

That's brilliant. What did he do? Was it uncomfortable?

The onus should absolutely be on them to be aware and move their stuff. However, the people like the man you encountered aren't unaware, they are entitled and rude. They are more bothered about their own comfort levels being high, than taking up a little less space to help others. If no-one says something to them, as probably happens a reasonable amount of the time, they get away with it and are more likely to keep doing it.

Same thing happened to me but it was a woman! So anyone can do it not just men.

lol what happened next?