What a dick move - am I right?

[TeutoburgForest]

Just got on busy train in London. On a table a man is sat with his bag on the seat next to him and his coat on the seat opposite him - basically making it difficult for people to sit on 2/3 of the remaining free seats. Is this common??

Quite the reverse in my case. In middle age I've become sick of making myself small for everyone else, scrunching up on the seat under my bags, and giving a pacifying smile to all passers-by on the aisle as they scan for a seat as I'm usually hyper aware of everyone else all the time to the detriment of myself. I've tried to be a bit more relaxed about the whole thing lately and try to just exist rather than adapt my whole self to everyone else but also give other people the benefit of the doubt that they're doing similar rather than getting annoyed about them being dicks. They don't care if I think they're a dick but I am the one with the raised blood pressure.

Old habits die hard though!!h

If people make a point of trying to sit next to me on a half empty train I just move to a different double seat and spread myself out again. Different if the train is filling up eg on morning commuter trains. But evening commuter trains gradually empty out.

Also if I am on the aisle seat it's for a reason. People can have the window seat but I was there first and I am keeping the aisle seat.

I am not at all worried about asking someone to move their bag/coat/case on a busy service though. My bottom wants the seat ;)

Agree, OP. I see it every day on the bus. Every day. And they let people stand rather than offer to move their stuff. When confronted, some appear surprised - as if the entire seat was for them.

Totally agree. Some people seem to be out for things to be annoyed about. Or to be a dick about. I travel by train and bus loads and it's really, really common for people to put their bag or coat on a seat. If I want to use that seat, a quick "excuse me please" or "is that seat free?" is all it takes for the bag to be moved. I sit down and everyone goes on with their day.

Oh absolutely agree.

It's normal.

I do it- well, put my coat or bag on ONE seat but I'll move them if the train fills up.

What is common is that people 'bag' a seat next to them or sit on the aisle seat, so you sometimes have to squash past them to sit at the window.

My tack is just to say 'Could I sit down, please?'

Usually they are hoping they won't be asked, but once they are, they are usually pleasant enough.

Yeah that is true. I have been known to 'manspread' slightly as I am indeed quite skinny and small, so I want to make myself look less appealing as a seat mate! I always stop doing it when it gets busy though.

I've always wondered why people behave like you -taking the aisle seat.
I've assumed it's because they think no one will ask to sit down- because you will have to stand up to let them into the window seat.

I prefer an aisle seat if it's busy simply because I am small and I tend to get very large people sitting next to me (taking up more than their fair share of space) and I'm squashed up to the window. In fact people sometimes make a beeline for a free seat next to me because there is plenty of space!

I don't like rubbing thighs with some fat bloke or their manspreading.

He might have just said' Yes it's my coat.'

What you need to say is 'I'd like to sit there please.'

If he said no you could ask him if he had bought a ticket for his bag and coat.

I sense a few people who can't use their actual voices. If a grown adult can't even get a seat on a train then I despair. Honestly.

I've had to ask people to move their things 100s of times. and honestly, I can count on one hand the times they've had a problem with it or done anything except rapidly move whatever it was that was on the seat.

Not on busy trains! We just prefer the aisle, more leg room and space. 😊

How dare he create a situation where someone wanting a seat might have to speak to him?

Honestly you're all as bad as each other. He's a bit of a git for spreading out like that and you're a bit of a git for feeling like it's a major imposition to have to ask him to move his coat.

Most people can be fine about a polite request, some can be real twats, but yet others can be positively feral. It's really come to something when you can look at another human and have to work out whether it's worth the risk of asking for a free seat versus standing for an hour on the train. A minority can be actively abusive, and with so few train crew present or (somewhat understandably) willing to get involved, it really can be terribly worrying.