School lateness punishments, neurodiversity and the law

[VividDenimTiger]

Posting here for traffic really. DD 14 has had issues in secondary school- we suspect ADHD to be honest. I am unravelling my own mid life ADHD traits at the moment too.

For DD, one of the things that manifests in school is persistent lateness. She just can’t organise herself to get to lessons on time. The school has now brought in a punishment for lateness where anyone late more than 5 mins gets sent to a punishment room for the lesson. Needless to say DD is now missing loads of lessons because of her lateness.

I know that it’s annoying for teachers when kids are late for lessons but it feels like this policy unfairly targets kids, like my DD, who might or do have some issues with timekeeping because of other things going on.

Aibu? I am trying to unravel some of this for DD (and myself) but I am really angry about how punitive this policy is- it feels like it disadvantages kids who genuinely have issues with organising their time and themselves. The corridors are really busy in school and she gets upset and overwhelmed and that doesn’t help all of this.

@VividDenimTiger you might want to re-post on the SEN board. The replies will be more helpful and less judgmental. 🩷
People do like to kick a struggling parent on AIBU. 😵‍💫

That's a stupid example..a child in a wheelchair will either be able to self propel or not depending on many factors.

School have refused ear defender type adjustments.

So this would be the same as expecting a child to self propel in a wheelchair without self propelled wheels and then punishing them for being unable to self propel and banning them using a different chair which they could self propel

The school does have to agree to the strategies, though - OP can’t unilaterally implement them. And it sounds like everything she’s suggested has been rejected by the school, but they aren’t suggesting what might be acceptable to them as an alternative.

I don’t think anyone is saying that all ND kids can’t learn new skills (not all people can learn every skill, of course). But they may need to do things a different way from other people, and this should be facilitated by the school.

I have dyslexia, among other things, and part of my job is producing briefings. I use speech to text software to do that most of the time. Colleagues without dyslexia don’t have access to this software - they type their briefings. But the end result is the same - why does it matter that the production method is different?

Gosh this sounds like it could be my DD in a couple years… she is already experiencing overwhelm, anxiety, lateness and school refusal in Y6.
It is so awful as a parent to try to help someone who simply seems to be stuck , their brains just get stuck in a loop and they can’t escape.

Ignore the bitchy posters who have no clue.

I’m just really sorry that the school are so unsupportive - you either need to leave or report them to the Board of Governers, they must have some sort of SEN Policy…?

Also research your local council for help as there may be parental courses etc for help

Bit it’s still the case that in some businesses and some jobs that you cannot accommodate people being late; it’s no a reasonable adjustment that the business can provide.

Then you find a job that can accommodate it if you know timekeeping is difficult for whatever reason.

It’s a lot easier to do that as an adult than it is for schoolchildren.

Do you mean strategies like the suggested Loops? a perfectly acceptable strategy to cope with the noise yet OP has been told her dd can't use them. A strategy like leaving a minute early, a perfectly acceptable strategy that's implemented by schools all over the country as a RA for SEND children to move to their next class before the corridors get too crowded, but has been told no? What strategies do you suggest practising at home that will magic away the overwhelm of noisy, crowded corridors in school?