Would you find this weird…

[GoldfishMemory99]

Woman in her 30s with 3 children (oldest being 11) dating a 18 year old?

This person is a friend and wondering if I should take a step back from the friendship as I am weirded out by it. Aibu?

Very weird 🤢

Of course it’s weird, he’s closer in age to her children than her

Yes I'd find it weird, from both sides tbh.

Massive ick, very weird. Is she ok? Having some sort of crisis? I’d also be concerned he’s more interested in access to the children than her…

Would you find it weird if the woman was 18 and the man was in his 30s with 3 children?

I would find that very uncomfortable too.

Weird but the 18 year old is an adult. But I could not see them being happy being a step dad to 3 kids at that young an age.

Highly unusual for sure but perhaps there is a context. I have no idea what that might be!

I did sleep with a few women in their 30s when I was 18 but never dated.

Yep.

It’s very weird. Not at all healthy. And in response to the question about if the roles were reversed. Absolutely yes that would also be totally weird.

Depending on the closeness of the friendship I’d try to talk to her, see if she is ok. Or distance myself.

Is your friend Sam Taylor-Johnson? 🤢

I would feel uncomfortable mainly because of the children involved.

I do know that there are a certain section of young men interested in relationships with older women because the women can provide them with a home . So I wouldn't necessarily go down the route that any exploitation is necessarily the older women exploiting the younger man.

If you aren't comfortable with the situation you have every right to step back fron the friendship. It's your call.

I wouldn't necessarily go down the route that any exploitation is necessarily the older women exploiting the younger man. Me neither but the age gap is too big.

If the roles were reversed I'd be thinking 'nanny with a fanny', but in OP's case, I'd be thinking the 18 yr-old was likely to be a potential 'cocklodger' or just after a fling.

yes
wouldn't you?

It's less the age difference than the life gap that I would find very weird.

Age is nothing but a number....

Jokes, that is seriously grim.

Absolutely!

Yeah I would.

@GoldfishMemory99 , will your friend probably find herself pregnant?

I think it depends on what's meant by 'dating'.

If they're just having the occasional shag, rather than an actual relationship, that's very different from, eg, planning to set up home and play happy families with him. The latter would be a lot weirder.

Yes it's weird. Age gaps aren't a problem per se, but age gaps initiated when someone is a teenager is wrong. I wouldn't end a friendship over it though as he's technically an adult.

I would be worried either way-yes it is legal, but icky to me. Though the 18 year old bloke with an older woman is more likely to be accused of having bad motives, than an 18 year old woman dating a 30 year old dad.
And lots of people will say an 18 year old woman is far more mentally mature than an 18 year old man.

Weird, no question.

No she’s moved him in after a month of “dating”.

Yes, I agree it's more the life gap that's the issue here.

When I was 19 I had a relationship with a man in his early 30s and it was honestly great - we had plenty in common and it was a lot of fun. We stayed friends for years after we split. But when we were together we were both just single independent adults. I was a full-time student and working part-time, he was working full-time and was a student part-time. Our lives were not that different. Neither of us had any real ties or responsibilities.

If he'd been the father of three kids, however, it would definitely have been weird.

Probably, she only just got out a relationship a few months ago with a 24 year old.