Would you find this weird…

[GoldfishMemory99]

Woman in her 30s with 3 children (oldest being 11) dating a 18 year old?

This person is a friend and wondering if I should take a step back from the friendship as I am weirded out by it. Aibu?

Yes.
Although I’d say predatory and wrong in both cases.

My Dad was 7 years older than my mum. Thank god there was no mumsnet then. They would be baying for blood!!

I’m tempted to say fgs leave her to it and pick up the pieces when it inevitably goes wrong and he moves out. He is an adult at 18. If he were say 20 would that be better? He might be more mature than most 18 year old men. Some are. But it does sit wrong with me too, I wouldn’t like it happening with a friend of mine or if I had a son that age.

Say something to her.

Sarah, your relationship is bloody weird and I can't believe you have moved an 18 year old into your home with your kids. Are you okay? As your friend I have to say this: give your head a wobble.

Yep.

FFS, your response to a fully grown woman entering a relationship with a literal teenager is to ask if she is ok and accuse him of having an unhealthy interest in children?

OP, she sounds like she's taking advantage of someone much younger than her with very little life experience. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who would do that.

oh please

yes things happen

sadly a lot of things also happen despite social workers being told and choosing not to do anything about it. Maybe if you concentrate on actual cases of abuse instead of making stuff up?

Shes ridiculously stupid for many reasons but moving in an 18 year old bloke she barely knows where there are kids is the biggest thing. The other thing is that if social services had to be involved for any reason they would wonder about how old he was when they started sleeping together. Vile situation.

18 is an adult though. Old enough in the eyes of the law to make their own bad life choices.

Yes because only someone who has actually taken leave of their senses would enter into a relationship with someone half their age and move them in with their children after a month.
He is legally an adult, although if I was his parent I’d be heartbroken at his choice and try to extricate him.

Age gap aside, moving in any new partner in with your kids after a month is a shitty thing to do.
That would be bad at any age.

80 is an adult too, but if someone in their 30s got into a relationship with someone in their 80s then people would be concerned about the elderly person. Legally the 80 something year old is an adult but they are potentially vulnerable due to their age, and it's no different with very young adults.

Well no. You are infantilising the 80 year old in that case. Unless you are thinking of cases where the 80 year old is rich and their partner is a lot younger and just money grabbing.

As a women in her 30s with an 18 year old son, it's very fucking weird!

18 year olds are not adults 🙄 my son and his friends are mature and sensible boys. But boys they are. They still cry when they get frustrated, mood swings, make silly decisions, do not have a fully developed frontal lobe.

It's creepy and perverted

Oh that’s so gross. I’d be distancing myself too. I’m only a year different from your friend and currently have an 18 year old apprentice working for my business. He’s a cracking kid, funny and charming in his way, but he’s a KID. The idea of anything other than a friendly, honestly verging on motherly, relationship with him is disgusting.

Many would be concerned, and it's true that they are potentially vulnerable. It's not infantilizing to say that, and society recognises that many elderly are vulnerable due to their age so it's true.

I wasn't necessarily thinking of rich people, with many romance scams the person being scammed isn't rich.

I wasn't even necessarily thinking about money either, but if there was a 30 year old man and he got with an 80 year old woman for whatever reason many people would be concerned.

My car is older than her boyfriend.

The not long finished with a 24yr old
Now an 18yrold moved in,how many guys have these kids got fleeting in and out of their lives.

Oh that is gross, those poor kids with an idiot like that for a mother.

I'd step back from the friendships mainly because I can't believe she'd be normal in hoe she lives the rest of her life.

Ha, my grandad would have been furious to be classed as vulnerable in his 80s. Yes, his body was falling apart but his mind was not. He had a girlfriend 25 years younger than him when he was early 80s.

A 30 year old and an 80 year old are adults. There is no safeguarding concerns there.

Do you not understand the word potentially?

I said it in my second comment as well in case you missed the word the first time.

I would see it as concerning and a potential safeguarding issue, so would some others, you don't have to.

Yes it’s gross, and I’d think the same if it were a guy. I personally would step back from the friendship.

I would find it weird and creepy, as I do all age gap relationships when the younger one is so young. I couldn’t be friends with her.

My partner ended a friendship when his friend started dating a 19 year old when he was 40, after cheating on his wife with her. 🤢🤮

I'd find it difficult to be friends with her for several reasons, including moving a man into her home when they've only been dating for a few months. Moving a man in when she has children is even more of a lapse in judgement. Tbh his age is almost the least worry.

Yuck! Any 30 something with any 18 year old seems very wrong