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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to drive someone else’s car all week?

151 replies

BlueberryMummy · Yesterday 20:30

A friend borrowed my car on Friday because she needed to go and pick up something that wouldn’t fit in her car (it would fit in her car, the only reason it wouldn’t is because her car is full of stuff) and then I had to go out before she got back and her car keys were at mine so she told me to take her keys and her car and then since then our paths haven’t crossed to swap the cars back and I’ve messaged her and called her a few times to ask if we can swap the cars back and she just keeps saying she is busy at that moment but will find time soon to swap the cars back. She’s now asking if she can keep my car until Friday as she needs to go somewhere on Friday and what she is taking won’t fit in her car again because her car is full of stuff and in return I keep her car until Friday. But I just want my car back now. My car is a 2016 Volkswagen Tiguan and her car is a 2024 Range Rover. My husband says I’m overreacting and making a mountain out of a molehill. I feel she is being funny about just giving me my car back, she could have found time already to give me my car back and she certainly could find time before Friday to give me my car back. We both have fully comp insurance on our own cars and are insured to drive other cars but we are only covered for 3rd party damage on other cars. AIBU to not want to drive someone else’s car all week and AIBU to just want my car back now?

OP posts:
Bishbashbush · Today 14:41

I would wait until she’s home from work, then drive over and swap the cars there and then. Tell her you’re concerned that something will happen to her car while you’re driving it and you’d rather eliminate the risk asap. It is definitely weird that she’s stalling so much. Pardon the pun. If the only reason she doesn’t want her own car back is because it’s full and messy, then she’s being very selfish expecting you to drive it around.

Edenmum2 · Today 14:58

Op I keep checking this thread and remain in disbelief that you still haven’t driven to her house. Big girl pants, come on now.

NerrSnerr · Today 15:20

youalright · Today 13:51

A lot of people assume if they have fully comprehensive cover they automatically get 3rd party on other cars and that hasn't been the case for years. Thats why im saying it

The OP has literally said she’s got 3rd party.

RoseField1 · Today 15:23

BlueberryMummy · Today 09:24

She’s now asking to keep it for longer than Friday! I’ve said no but she’s replied saying she won’t have chance to swap back sooner!

Edited

Tell her she's taking the piss and she needs to bring your car back today.

BennyHenny · Today 15:27

My money is on her having damaged your car. Pinpoint where she is and go get your car, this is bonkers!

SandyHappy · Today 15:33

What a weird situation, just go to her work.

Locutus2000 · Today 16:24

This has to be a wind-up. Surely nobody would be driving a car worth 60 - 80k on third party insurance, that's insane.

Shinyandnew1 · Today 16:31

I have voted YABU as I can’t believe you actually let someone else borrow your car just because they couldn’t be arsed to tidy out their own one!

outdooryone · Today 16:33

As everyone is saying, this is crazy. Go get your car back now. Doorstep her at work or home, doesn't matter, just go do it.
If she won't, just go to the police.
I'm betting she's bumped it or something...

AnonyMumAuDHD · Today 16:40

@BlueberryMummy you need to go and get your car TONIGHT. That she is deferring suggests that she may actually have scraped/scratched it and is trying to get it fixed before returning. Either way, unless you are absolutely sure that both your insurances cover your car swap for all eventuality, you are being really foolish to allow this to continue (in fact, you were foolosh to agree in the first place.)

Get your car tonight. Take the kids. Tell her you will have to call the police if you do not have it back tonight.

BeeDavis · Today 18:04

Shedmistress · Today 09:30

Stop telling MN, drive to her work and swap the fucking cars over.

Literally 🤣🤣 wtf are we supposed to do about it! The amount of pushovers in the world 🫠

Thekichenisclosed · Today 18:06

Here’s your reply:

”Please return my car immediately. I agreed to let you use it for one errand, not an ongoing situation. I need it back by 9am tomorrow. Have it back here with the keys by 9am or I’ll have to choice but to report it as stolen. I’m not joking. You have absolutely taken advantage of a favour and I will not negotiate on this. See you at 9am or earlier.”

Pollqueen · Today 18:09

Absolutely ridiculous, surely nobody is this spineless? You can't pick the car up because you have the kids? I don't believe a word of any of this

MadisonMarieParksValetta · Today 18:10

Ffs go get it

HortiGal · Today 18:13

Jesus wept, stick the kids in the car and go get your car back!
Also, not all fully comp insurance allow you to drive other cars, a common assumption ppl make.

Dizzydrizzy · Today 18:13

Just say that you need it back and go get it.

Swissrailways · Today 18:25

Do you know that she's at work? I bet she's gone off on holiday in your car.
Give her a time that you want it back for eg by 8pm today and if she doesn't bring it you'll report it stolen

Jeschara · Today 18:31

You don't ask her you tell her you want your car back. She is piss taking. I don't care if she is busy you tell her you want it back by tommorow at the latest.
Ask someone to look after your children if need be.

Ilikewinter · Today 18:35

BlueberryMummy · Yesterday 20:39

I did during the day today and she wasn’t in at the time as she was at work. I can’t do it in an evening because I’m looking after the kids on my own at the moment because DH is working away.

I would be driving to her place of work then. Can you not take your kids with you in the evening, or ask a neighbour or friend to mind them for a short time?

JackGrealishsCalves · Today 18:39

I'd be tempted to message her saying you totalled her car in an accident, you can guarantee she'll be straight on the phone to you.
You can then insist you swop cars TONIGHT

youalright · Today 18:46

NerrSnerr · Today 15:20

The OP has literally said she’s got 3rd party.

Yes lots of people think that which is why i sad are you sure

Littlebitpsycho · Today 18:47

This can't be real, surely nobody is this much of a wet blanket 😳

Stop making excuses, go and get the car!

Bikenutz · Today 18:53

“I’ve been flexible to help you out, but I need my car back now. Please arrange to return it by (deadline). If I don’t hear from you, I’ll take further steps to get it back.”

TFImBackIn · Today 19:08

I wouldn't drive to hers - it's up to her to drive to you. I'd be so annoyed with her.

Beigepjs · Today 19:12

Unbelievable OP.
Could you be more of a doormat?

Get your car back.
Why are you tolerating this?

Drive over and get your car back.
Do you actually believe this shit is normal?🙄

It truly is terrifying to realise that so many people with such non existence boundaries have children.
Wtf?