To not want to drive someone else’s car all week?

[BlueberryMummy]

A friend borrowed my car on Friday because she needed to go and pick up something that wouldn’t fit in her car (it would fit in her car, the only reason it wouldn’t is because her car is full of stuff) and then I had to go out before she got back and her car keys were at mine so she told me to take her keys and her car and then since then our paths haven’t crossed to swap the cars back and I’ve messaged her and called her a few times to ask if we can swap the cars back and she just keeps saying she is busy at that moment but will find time soon to swap the cars back. She’s now asking if she can keep my car until Friday as she needs to go somewhere on Friday and what she is taking won’t fit in her car again because her car is full of stuff and in return I keep her car until Friday. But I just want my car back now. My car is a 2016 Volkswagen Tiguan and her car is a 2024 Range Rover. My husband says I’m overreacting and making a mountain out of a molehill. I feel she is being funny about just giving me my car back, she could have found time already to give me my car back and she certainly could find time before Friday to give me my car back. We both have fully comp insurance on our own cars and are insured to drive other cars but we are only covered for 3rd party damage on other cars. AIBU to not want to drive someone else’s car all week and AIBU to just want my car back now?

You’re driving a 2024 Range Rover around for a week on 3rd party only?! Are you made of money? What do you imagine is going to happen if her car gets damaged?

I wouldn’t swap cars with anyone anyway, but if I was going to do it then at minimum I’d have wanted to be named on each others insurance or to have proper temporary cover.

She sounds like the sort of ‘friend’ that will claim you’ve damaged her 2024 Range Rover and ask you for money.

Hopefully you are not replying to any of these messages because you are off taking your kids with you to get your car back.

How old are your kids that you’re worried about them being in bed…did you have to take your car seats out of the car as well?!

The third party insurance is only valid "with the owner's permission" and as it's only 3rd party it's really stupid to do much driving on it. If there's an accident, only the other car gets repaired and either you or your friend or both are out of pocket by THOUSANDS. I have allowed friends to drive my car on a 3rd party only basis in emergency but would never agree to it for ordinary driving rather than extreme emergency single-journey problem solving.

You should formally give her written notice that unless she makes a firm commitment to arrange a swap-back meet-up within the next 24 hours, you will rescind your permission for her to use your car, the 3rd party insurance wil therefore be invalid and she will be committing a criminal offence if she drives it at all.

She's a CF not a friend.

Take the kids on her car and swap the cars?

Does your insurance and hers definitely have 3rd party. A lot don't now its not automatic like it use to be with every comprehensive cover.

Put the kids in the car then.

What kind of insanity is this? No way would I lend someone my car with only third party insurance unless it was an actual emergency. Not being bothered to tidy her car is not an emergency.

Reply and say she no longer has permission to use your car and you will need to be swapping back immediately.

Can you go to her workplace tomorrow and swap the cars back? Or even take your DC with you in the evening? Absolutely you shouldn't have to run around like this but she's in no rush to give you your car back. She's a cf and don't lend her your car again (unless you want a Range Rover).

Are you always this much of a doormat? Take your car back! The situation is insane but you are enabling it. Grow a pair, come on.

YANBU for wanting your own car back

YABU for not being able to say no to her if you don’t agree

Take your kids with you to her house.
is she a really good friend of yours as she’s acting like a CF!!

Did you both put each other on insurance?

This sounds absurd, tell her you're gettting your car back NOW.

Of course you can, just take the kids with you

Or use your spare key to take your car back and post her key back through the letterbox.

There is something afoot here. Either she has crashed your car or she wants use of a car that she won't be recognised in. She is up to no good.

I don’t have a spare key.

Time to get a key cut perhaps? It will be more costly if you need one i an emergency.

Is there a reason your children aren’t able to go in the car with you?

Go take your car back, simple, no if's no but's. How do people manage every day life I don't understand, woth your property and let her get away with it?!!!! Where are your boundaries?

I agree with a previous poster and think she’s damaged your car in some way and it’ll be fixed by Friday.

So, you haven’t put your kids in the car to drive over and your husband doesn’t gone either then?

OMFG go and get your car back!

Then go to her place of work in her lunch hour.

Or just message: "You wanted my car for one trip, as a favour, I am not prepared to carry on this car swap any further with only 3rd party insurance. Please bring my car back on your way to or from work"

My first thought is that it's in the garage, but she'd probably want to claim on your insurance rather than her own.

You can tell her no, you need the car back as soon as possible and definitely before Friday. If she asks again then say no and suggest that she removes the items from her own car.

She doesn't sound like a real friend, and neither she nor your husband are behaving like they have much respect for you. Are you all in the habit of you giving and them letting you? If so you may find it useful to look into assertiveness training. Your friend certainly seems to have made it work for her.

I hope you get the car back in good condition. I'd suggest you check it for damage as soon as you get it back, and insist that she pays for any issues.

I'm with the others who think she's damaged your car and is hoping to get away with not telling you. Get it checked out by a mechanic.

O my god, do people really actually do this?

Why the fuck did you lend her your car? Stop being such a wet lettuce, go and get it back. Now. Tell her that you are withdrawing any perceived permission for her to drive it with immediate effect. Do it by messenger so that there is a paper trail.

It's your car. She is a cheeky fucker, not a friend.