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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why anyone would want to live in America?

285 replies

allergon842 · 07/06/2026 17:06

I follow a woman on Instagram who moved from England to the States and someone commented "America is only great if you're white, rich, and healthy".

Putting aside Trump/politics, I've always found it weird why anyone would want/would have wanted to live there. I understand if you're from a developing country, but I don't see the appeal for anyone who comes from Europe. The lower taxes and opportunities are enticing, but if you can't make it, you can fall very easy with the lack of a safety net. It seems to be only decent if you're a top earner ($100,000+).

OP posts:
Goldenbear · 08/06/2026 19:03

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 08/06/2026 18:21

Ours is suicide.
I don’t think there is a palatable “leading cause of teen death”, surely?

No it's not - for children and teens? Suicide is a leading cause of death of teens in the U.S.

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 08/06/2026 19:16

Goldenbear · 08/06/2026 19:03

No it's not - for children and teens? Suicide is a leading cause of death of teens in the U.S.

For teens.
You really are scraping the barrel now with this anti us narrative.
We can’t argue about which country has a better “leading cause of child and teen deaths”

Christ alive.

TheatreMom · 08/06/2026 20:05

Goldenbear · 08/06/2026 17:03

Of course you have fast food, the U.S. Invented it! They literally have roads of fast food outlets.

Eating out all the time doesn't help the obesity problem though does it? The UK has sadly imported some of those habits and that's probably why we have seen an increase in our obesity rate. I have family in Scandinavia and it's no coincidence that the culture just doesn't exist on the scale that you see in the U.S. and it is reflected in their healthier waistlines.

My point - because apparently I need to spell it out for you - was that the US is not unique in having lots of bad food options. This was in response to the people who claimed that all food in the US is terrible. There is terrible food, just like there is in the UK, but there is also plenty of good food.

Waitingfordoggo · 08/06/2026 20:08

@Rrnraf
I thought we were having a reasonable conversation but your last response to me is patronising and rude so I won’t be taking any advice from you.

I’d rather be skint and pleasant than loaded and rude. 🤷🏼‍♀️

TheatreMom · 08/06/2026 20:08

FrenchT0ast · 08/06/2026 17:44

“At the moment the worst thing about the country is who is in charge, but that will change and I believe that the US will come out of this period better than ever.“

Wow you really are deluded!

President Donald Trump's has made lasting damage:-the structural reshaping of U.S. governance, the erosion of international alliances, and irreversible environmental consequences. While future administrations can pass new legislation or sign agreements, the permanent nature of these actions stems from lost time, irrecoverable capital, and institutional decay.

  1. Environmental Devastation and Lost Time
Irreplaceable Ecosystems: Rolling back environmental protections, opening up public lands—like the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge—for resource extraction, and easing restrictions on toxic emissions has accelerated habitat loss and degradation that cannot simply be "un-done" once the damage is enacted. The Carbon Clock: Time is a finite resource in climate science. By continually withdrawing from global climate pacts and aggressively prioritizing fossil fuels, years of critical momentum were lost in the global race to mitigate carbon emissions, guaranteeing higher peak global temperatures.
  1. Fractured International Alliances and U.S. Credibility
Eroded Trust: Trump's unpredictable and transactional approach to foreign policy fundamentally fractured relationships with core allies. Nations in Europe, Asia, and North America (such as the U.K., Canada, and Denmark) have re-evaluated their dependence on the United States, creating new, independent security and trade frameworks that the U.S. cannot easily reverse. Loss of Global Leadership: The repeated withdrawal from multilateral institutions and the weakening of NATO have ceded global influence to rival powers. Even if the U.S. attempts to reclaim its leadership position, its word and foundational commitments will long be viewed with skepticism by the international community.
  1. Institutional Decay and the Judiciary
The Judiciary: Trump reshaped the federal judiciary, appointing hundreds of conservative, lifetime-tenured judges to lower courts and the Supreme Court. The resulting legal rulings will shape American law, civil rights, and regulatory power for decades. Politicization of Government: The aggressive remaking of federal agencies—replacing experienced career civil servants with political loyalists—and the consistent challenging of non-partisan democratic institutions (like the Justice Department and intelligence communities) have eroded public trust in the state's structural integrity.
  1. Economic and Trade Disruptions
Global Supply Chain Shifts: The implementation of aggressive, sweeping tariffs against historic allies and competitors alike forced massive, structural shifts in global manufacturing and supply chains. Reversing tariffs does not magically bring these supply chains or historical trading positions back; companies permanently restructure to adapt to the new normal.

Hard to see how the US will come back better than before from all that. It will be lucky to get back to as good as it was. The trust from the rest of the world has completely gone.

I don't disagree with any of your examples, and maybe I am deluded. I prefer to think that I'm optimistic. The most important thing I personally can do is vote, and I vote in every election however small. I have also attended numerous protests and I work as an elections officer to do my part to ensure that we have free and fair elections in my state.

TheatreMom · 08/06/2026 20:14

FrenchT0ast · 08/06/2026 17:48

Oh and re school shootings. The fact children have to have school shooting drills is abhorrent. Firearms are the leading cause of death for children and teens (ages 1 to 19) in the United States. Terrifying for children and parents.

I don't know if this was also in response to my comment. Yes, school shootings are terrifying. I said this in my original comment. (I have also heard that they now have these drills in the UK too.) I also said that I wished we didn't have the 2nd amendment. I think we're in agreement. The fact remains that school shootings are thankfully extremely rare.

Goldenbear · 08/06/2026 20:21

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 08/06/2026 19:16

For teens.
You really are scraping the barrel now with this anti us narrative.
We can’t argue about which country has a better “leading cause of child and teen deaths”

Christ alive.

But you were responding to the post about leading causing of death of children and teens. Suicide is not the leading cause of death in the UK, accidents are but yes, just like the U.S. a leading causing of death for teens is suicide.

It's not actually about who's better, these threads are ridiculous as there is a childish sense of delusion. I think Brits know that there is a quite a bit wrong with the UK, it is preferable to be a bit crap as it's more real. I visited Portobello market the other day and tbh it lacks soul, like Camden market it's a clinical paradoy of itself. I preferred life that was a bit crap in London in the 90s early 00s. I don't know what is wrong with being a realist about life.

FrenchT0ast · 08/06/2026 20:23

TheatreMom · 08/06/2026 20:14

I don't know if this was also in response to my comment. Yes, school shootings are terrifying. I said this in my original comment. (I have also heard that they now have these drills in the UK too.) I also said that I wished we didn't have the 2nd amendment. I think we're in agreement. The fact remains that school shootings are thankfully extremely rare.

No we don’t have shooting drills in the UK.

Since the shooting at Columbine in 1999, more than 390,000 students in the U.S. have experienced gun violence at school.

Each day 12 children die from gun violence in America. Another 32 are shot and injured.

Those figures are horrific.

TheatreMom · 08/06/2026 20:35

FrenchT0ast · 08/06/2026 20:23

No we don’t have shooting drills in the UK.

Since the shooting at Columbine in 1999, more than 390,000 students in the U.S. have experienced gun violence at school.

Each day 12 children die from gun violence in America. Another 32 are shot and injured.

Those figures are horrific.

Again, I'm not disagreeing with you.

Rrnraf · 08/06/2026 20:39

I did some reading and asked AI so it can be wrong but apparently over a lifetime an American has a 1% chance of being a victim of gum violence.

FrenchT0ast · 08/06/2026 20:41

Rrnraf · 08/06/2026 20:39

I did some reading and asked AI so it can be wrong but apparently over a lifetime an American has a 1% chance of being a victim of gum violence.

National Context: Americans are approximately 26 times more likely to be shot and killed than residents of peer high-income nations

Rrnraf · 08/06/2026 20:42

Oh well it might be 1 in 9. By all metrics and data there is more crime there. NYC has higher per capita knife crime than London

Northermcharn · 08/06/2026 20:42

FrenchT0ast · 08/06/2026 20:23

No we don’t have shooting drills in the UK.

Since the shooting at Columbine in 1999, more than 390,000 students in the U.S. have experienced gun violence at school.

Each day 12 children die from gun violence in America. Another 32 are shot and injured.

Those figures are horrific.

Yes. A country where the leading cause of death for Under 19's - is guns. Yes the leading cause of death for under 19s in the USA - is guns. Totally preventable, but... So no thank you, I def do not want to live there.

'Manner of Death:
Homicide: Assault accounts for the largest share (roughly 59–60%) of pediatric firearm fatalities.
Suicide: Firearm suicide makes up approximately 32–35% of these tragic deaths.
Unintentional: Accidental discharges and undetermined intents make up the remaining percentage. 1, 2]'

The Major Causes of Death in Children and Adolescents in the United States - PMC

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6637963/

Rrnraf · 08/06/2026 20:58

The per capita homicide rate is 4.0 homicides per 100,000 residents. Which is higher than us a lot. But it's 0.004%.

JasmineTea11 · 08/06/2026 21:03

It's an amazing country with problems, like most.
If you work in particular areas you can make serious money. I lived there for a few years decades ago and know lots Brits who stayed, love it etc, but it wasn't for me.

SquirrelGG · 08/06/2026 21:17

OneTealShaker · 08/06/2026 13:53

It’s usually people with closed minds and some kind of misplaced superiority complex about their small lives in this declining, increasingly poor country who look down upon people choosing to relocate to America.

Or indeed people choosing to relocate to any country other than the UK.

FrenchT0ast · 08/06/2026 21:20

SquirrelGG · 08/06/2026 21:17

Or indeed people choosing to relocate to any country other than the UK.

No it’s being realistic. Some of us have lived aboard and could have lived in a variety of places. The fact is the US has huge issues and even bigger issues for immigrants which us British seem to have a major problem in realising we are- the same as everybody else considering live in a country that isn’t their own.

Northermcharn · 08/06/2026 21:43

Rrnraf · 08/06/2026 20:58

The per capita homicide rate is 4.0 homicides per 100,000 residents. Which is higher than us a lot. But it's 0.004%.

5.8% for under 19s..

The homicide rate for youth under 19 in the U.S. remains elevated, with recent data showing over 1,800 pediatric homicides annually and thousands more among older teens, largely driven by firearm injuries. The Americas also report the highest youth homicide rates globally, averaging around 5.8 per 100,000 for under-18s.

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 08/06/2026 22:15

FrenchT0ast · 08/06/2026 20:23

No we don’t have shooting drills in the UK.

Since the shooting at Columbine in 1999, more than 390,000 students in the U.S. have experienced gun violence at school.

Each day 12 children die from gun violence in America. Another 32 are shot and injured.

Those figures are horrific.

We do have lockdown drills which would be put in place if there was a person/ persons posing a deadly threat (which includes a shooter).

Utterlyexhausted · 08/06/2026 22:19

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 08/06/2026 22:15

We do have lockdown drills which would be put in place if there was a person/ persons posing a deadly threat (which includes a shooter).

I agree. My children had them in the UK a few years ago. Why do people always say they don’t happen in the UK when they clearly do?

MostlyChickpeas · 08/06/2026 22:21

I have dual citizenship and have never been tempted to live in the US. I’ll go on vacation to see family, but that’s it.

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 08/06/2026 22:33

Most councils even have guidance on lockdowns

https://www.rotherham.gov.uk/downloads/file/1761/lockdown-procedures

https://www.rotherham.gov.uk/downloads/file/1761/lockdown-procedures

FrenchT0ast · Yesterday 06:35

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 08/06/2026 22:33

Most councils even have guidance on lockdowns

https://www.rotherham.gov.uk/downloads/file/1761/lockdown-procedures

They are entirely different and focus on any external threat

“A reported incident/civil disturbance in the local community (with the potential
to pose a risk to staff and pupils in the school).
• An intruder on the school site (with the potential to pose a risk to staff and
pupils).
• A warning being received regarding a risk locally of air pollution (smoke
plume, gas cloud etc.) or chemical, biological or radiological contaminants.
• A major fire in the vicinity of the school.
• The close proximity of a dangerous dog or other animal roaming loose.”

NOT active shooter drills anywhere like those seen in the USA.

Our external threat drills are do innocuous most often focus on a potential animal in the playground as that is what is the most likely scenario as we don’t have a gun or kids being shot in school problem. They are calm drills almost identical to fire drills except a reverse with any kids or staff returning to classrooms on a different bell.

EstoyRobandoSuCasa · Yesterday 08:07

Rrnraf · 08/06/2026 20:58

The per capita homicide rate is 4.0 homicides per 100,000 residents. Which is higher than us a lot. But it's 0.004%.

This is the chance of being murdered in any particular year.

It’s harder to find figures for the lifetime risk, but it appears that between 1 in 100 and 1 in 200 US residents will die by homicide. Of course some have much higher risk than others.

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · Yesterday 08:21

FrenchT0ast · Yesterday 06:35

They are entirely different and focus on any external threat

“A reported incident/civil disturbance in the local community (with the potential
to pose a risk to staff and pupils in the school).
• An intruder on the school site (with the potential to pose a risk to staff and
pupils).
• A warning being received regarding a risk locally of air pollution (smoke
plume, gas cloud etc.) or chemical, biological or radiological contaminants.
• A major fire in the vicinity of the school.
• The close proximity of a dangerous dog or other animal roaming loose.”

NOT active shooter drills anywhere like those seen in the USA.

Our external threat drills are do innocuous most often focus on a potential animal in the playground as that is what is the most likely scenario as we don’t have a gun or kids being shot in school problem. They are calm drills almost identical to fire drills except a reverse with any kids or staff returning to classrooms on a different bell.

I’m not sure if you meant to miss it but I’ll be charitable and say

Oh, you seem to have missed the preceding sentence from your quote

“Lockdown procedures may be activated in response to any number of situations, but some of
the more typical might be:”

The lockdown response would be the same if it was an external threat, I.e a member of the public getting into the school, as it would if a pupil posed the same threat.

What do you think a school would do if a pupil came in armed and posing a threat?

“Oh we are only trained for lockdowns with external threats. Let’s all just scream and run around aimlessly”

And the dog on the playground story is to keep children calm and not instil the idea that they might not be 100% safe at school.