To wonder why anyone would want to live in America?

[allergon842]

I follow a woman on Instagram who moved from England to the States and someone commented "America is only great if you're white, rich, and healthy".

Putting aside Trump/politics, I've always found it weird why anyone would want/would have wanted to live there. I understand if you're from a developing country, but I don't see the appeal for anyone who comes from Europe. The lower taxes and opportunities are enticing, but if you can't make it, you can fall very easy with the lack of a safety net. It seems to be only decent if you're a top earner ($100,000+).

Some fabulous posts from people enjoying the American Dream. Are any of the persons posting how fabulous it is, not white and wealthy or at the very least just wealthy/in a great paying profession?

Presumably most regular Americans do not enjoy extensive annual leave and the income to hop off to a ski resort etc...

I remember folks couldn't believe the amount of annual leave I get im the UK or the fact I had 13 months off work when I had a baby.

I remember being in the US with my 6 month old - she fell and hit her head against the bath... The first thing I was asked when I enquired about a doctor was the insurance question.
Meal out - tip.
Cab ride - tip.
Hello neighbour- tip...
Clothes purchase - $99 + tax (amount dependant on which state you're in).
Food purchase- $99 + tax (amount dependant on which state you're in).

I spend a lot of time there and really enjoy it, but it's not for the faint-hearted or pocket. And that's without getting into the social issues.

@cupofteaandabook Most of us expats do the 2/3/5 year plan. Secondments are for a set period of time and then it is up to the family or employer to negotiate a stay, a return to base or another move. So in the case of little ones, you might be living in the US but not raising your kids there, people usually move back home or elsewhere.

@Dweetfidilove , I am “not white” as you say. Not sure what “not white and wealthy / just wealthy” means? Can I be a not white and wealthy or not white or not wealthy / just wealthy and who decides whom is wealthy.

Have you not noticed it is already on the gutter.

Because they want to be free to say, “She looks like my lesbian nana” without being hauled away by police. 😜

My brother lives in Boca Raton Florida. He has his own business, designing and making super yachts for the mega rich . He loves it out there, he was married and had children before he left the UK. They followed him, a couple of months later, after tying up loose ends , the dog went to. They have a beautiful home, the children attended a British school, they went to university, both excelled and are both engineers. They have a great life, alot of it spent outdoors, they have made friends and say they would never move back to the UK. He has always asked me to go and live there too, but l just couldn't leave my parents. In a way glad l didn't as l gave both of them alot of help before they died. It's too late for me to go now, my three children are grown and are all doing well, two are doctors , and the youngest an engineer. I don't have grandchildren yet, one day l will and l would hate to miss out on that. Both myself and my husband worked hard to be in the position of having a lovely life here, in the UK. There is an eight year age gap between me and my brother, me being the oldest, there is just the two of us. Although we are many miles apart, l speak to him, daily. We are very close and l miss him alot. I am beyond proud of what he has achieved, he couldn't have done here what he has done in the USA. He is a multimillionaire, every penny he grafted for, l am not a millionaire, but happy with my lot. We visit him twice a year and he visits us, once a year. It's strange how things turned out really because my family lived in llinois for three years due to my husbands job, came back after the contract was finished. My brother never mentioning at the time he would like to live there. Everyone has their reasons for living where they like, the main thing is, whatever you have or haven't got , is your health. You have nothing if you haven't your health and many people in the usa lose their homes due to unpaid medical bills. Its a massive industry. The medical insurers dictate the hospital you are in, if they find a cheaper one for the same treatment & it can be 100's of miles away. Medical insurance doesn't come without excess payements, which can be in the thousands of dollars. My niece had a wisdom tooth extraction, there was a $ 2000, excess and the insurance covered the rest of $3000. ln the UK we take alot for granted...Each to their own

I worked for an audit firm which took me to the US and I’m still in the states almost 20 years later. My salary is at least 6 times what I’d get at home, and my specific industry doesn’t really exist outside of London in the uk, so that’s very limiting. I live in a place with year round beautiful weather, and some of the most wonderful national parks within driving distance. I work hard but often take a weekday afternoon and go hike with my dog. We have wonderful healthcare, which is almost completely employer covered. Local schools are fantastic. Gun rights and crazy politicians where I am are fairly limited and predictable outside of he who shall not be named. That said, to the OPs point, yes, I’m white, but I live in a diverse area and have friends, colleagues and my kids school friends of every religion and colour. Much more so than at home, where I was in my 20s before I met a single Jewish person. Being from the UK actually works in my favour as the companies here can’t compare my university vs theirs so just assume it’s good. I don’t want to come home, but I do miss decent chocolate and crisps.

Lots of Americans think cities like San Francisco are terrible too. Most of it is drugs and poor policing.

But not every place is like that. It's a huge country.

To add, there’s a huge focus here on preventative healthcare, so you are more likely to catch things early and aren’t on the back foot. Most insurance companies try to push you to get a medical, dental, dermatology (skin cancer check), obgyn and optical exam every year. At over 40 this then adds to mammograms, colonoscopies and other things. I know someone with the ovarian cancer risk who gets blood testing which supposedly alerts early for elevated markers. If you’re on Medicare, the waits can be extensive though. It’s not perfect, idk Canada and Oz seem to be an inbetween to the uk and USA and I’m curious how well they run.

Mumsnet is very anti- American.

However if you're young, healthy and have some gumption, it is often a far better place to build a life than the UK. People get on with things and work pays if you show some grit. My salary would be 3x as much in the US for example.

Overall people are more positive (even with Trump!) and there is much less navel gazing, moping and depression - which seems to permeate the UK atm.

There are a lot of things that affect where doctors and especially specialists go. A huge one is the cost of the doctors insurance which varies by state.

I understand that but we are a central hub with DC, Virginia & Maryland - one of the wealthiest counties in the whole of the US - it’s super bizarre that there’s such a long wait for certain specialists - especially as most other health/hospital services are almost instant and impressive.

I think my point was you can have an amazing private system and sometimes the waits are as long as the NHS.

You get a better service at the point of appointment (as long as you have good insurance of course)

We lived in the States for 2 years My husband’s company paid our rent, schooling and health insurance. The weather was amazing, people were friendly and upbeat, the children loved their school and the outdoors lifestyle. We paid less tax and had a much higher standard of living.
We had a big house, lots of holidays in the US and embraced the lifestyle. Everyone had a van do attitude.
My husband was offered a great job when we were out there, but he turned it down. We have regretted this ever since.

We moved to Arizona in 2022 after nearly a decade of living in England. I am American, and my husband English. We had previously lived in America together and knew what to expect.

If you have a mid-level professional job, you are likely to be significantly better off between salary and benefits. My salary for the same job more than doubled. Annual leave is the same, and my excellent medical insurance gets us incredible medical and dental care at a low cost. Our American house was the same price as our English one but much larger and more luxurious. Summers are brutal in Arizona, but the rest of the year is glorious, and we spend so much time outdoors having grand adventures.

One of the main reasons we left was because our experience of the NHS was that we could no longer get care that covered our basic medical needs. My experience of giving birth in the NHS was so awful that I resolved to never have another baby there. I had many lingering issues afterwards, and I was treated like a time waster and refused any help. Thank goodness we came back here! I was immediately taken seriously and got everything I needed: imaging to determine the problem, a reconstructive procedure, and a year of truly excellent rehabilitave physical therapy. I also had a doctor flag up a high colon cancer risk due to family history, and I was given a colonoscopy. It found some very large precancerous lesions that may well have progressed to cancer if we had remained in the UK without that kind of access to preventative care. I felt so much better that I wanted to have another baby here, and the experience was the polar opposite, could not have been better.

There are some downsides of course. Politics can be awful, and I would not want to live in a state any more conservative than the one we are in already. I didn't get as much maternity leave, but my job did give me 6 months fully paid. The food is also better in the UK, and I do miss that!

Same here. In fact, I would be like those poor Americans who have to live in a trailer park. The lowest of the low with hardly a dime to ny name. Sounds a right barrel of laughs.

It means exactly as you say - wealthy.

Of course it's okay for you to be wealthy. And you can decide if you are or not.

I just want to know if the people who posted that it's fantastic are in fact white and wealthy or non-white and wealthy - pretty much along the lines of the OP...

I have family members without means who have complex health needs and they have excellent access to care in the us- arguably much better than the uk if you factor in things like time to see a doctor/referral, which have meaningful impact on health.

the healthcare landscape is much more nuanced than the reductive picture you want to paint.

My son emigrated there 15 years ago, after marrying an American woman. He loves it over there.

Lovely house, good job, and excellent health insurance and care . Far better lifestyle than he would have here.

If it matters, and I don’t know if it does, he’s White/English. 🤷‍♀️

It might be a longer wait than you are used to, but I dare say it will be a longer wait 90% of the time in the uk. Within our family we are on a couple of referral waitlists and it is over a year in each case.

My mom lives in a healthcare desert - regularly written up in NYTimes for it - and her wait times are a third of what I would expect in the uk.

I feel like there is probably a mix of good and places to live given the sheer size of it. I wouldn’t want to live in the Bible Belt for example, New York maybe.

Healthcare is good but only if you have money (a lot of money). It’s not universally accessible.

Moving to America is like saying you are moving to Europe. Each state has its own laws, taxes, health, weather and education systems. Some are appalling, most are ok, some are great. They have a common federal government, but can be wildly different.

Parts of the US have barely left the Middle Ages.

At least 30 states allow minors under 16 to marry.

California, Mississippi, New Mexico have NO age floor!
Several States allow 14 and 15 year olds to marry (usually with parental consent and Court approval). eg Hawai min age 15, Kansas Min age 15.

This is not civilisation as most people in the UK would recognise it. Exploitation/abuse of girls (of course it's almost exclusively girls not boys, who suffer this ) rife.

I'd love to hear some examples of appalling vs great states @Seagulldancing?

I like your comment about "living in the US" being akin to saying "living in Europe".

The ones with the worst maternal death rates of any developed country? But I doubt few dreaming of a new life in America are really dreaming of Alabama or Louisiana. Californias rate is better than the UKs though.

Healthy Moms Healthy Babies America https://share.google/DT4SljMpuOoasBHX3

I think it depends what you're moving from and what you're going to.

I lived there as part of a multi racial family and as a teacher and hated it. I found it horrifically racist and with very poor educational standards.

Whereas I have a friend who moved there with her husband (both white), who has moved to a highly paid job in tech. They were average income in the UK and are now reasonably wealthy with a huge home. She's a SAHM. Kids in private school. She'll never return to the UK. I think she lives in her little white, middle class bubble and ignores politics and social discord.