Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why anyone would want to live in America?

285 replies

allergon842 · 07/06/2026 17:06

I follow a woman on Instagram who moved from England to the States and someone commented "America is only great if you're white, rich, and healthy".

Putting aside Trump/politics, I've always found it weird why anyone would want/would have wanted to live there. I understand if you're from a developing country, but I don't see the appeal for anyone who comes from Europe. The lower taxes and opportunities are enticing, but if you can't make it, you can fall very easy with the lack of a safety net. It seems to be only decent if you're a top earner ($100,000+).

OP posts:
Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 08/06/2026 15:31

Goldenbear · 08/06/2026 15:25

I was referring to low skilled workers comments made by you, you give off an air of superiority.

Erm, to be fair, so do you.

Verv · 08/06/2026 15:35

I'd move to America in a hearbeat if i could.
Its vast, with incvredible natural beauty, great infrastructure, a lot of space, and offers a good standard of living if you earn well.

Quine0nline · 08/06/2026 15:37

Is there any evidence that a person with few qualifications, in a low skilled job is better off in the US or here?
Talking into account opportunities and standard of living.

Goldenbear · 08/06/2026 15:38

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 08/06/2026 15:31

Erm, to be fair, so do you.

Well that is your opinion but you're wrong.

Waitingfordoggo · 08/06/2026 15:42

Rrnraf · 08/06/2026 15:21

Having a growth and can do mentality helps.

DNA affects how easy studying feels. Hard work affects what you actually do with your ability.

I don’t really understand your answer. I definitely don’t know what a ‘growth’ mentality is. I do have a ‘can do’ attitude, very much so, and I work hard, but sadly I’ve never managed to earn much money.

WheretheFishesareFrightening · 08/06/2026 15:43

I’d love to live there.

I’m pretty employable and well paid, I’d be able to afford a much bigger house there, much better weather, the ability to travel while working as I’d have the rights to work in any state and could WFH/holiday in the day and have evenings and weekends in a multitude of different locations - desert, mountains, forest, tropical beach, lakes and rivers, cliffside beaches, ski resorts all a relatively cheap flight or drive away. The roads are better and easier to navigate with much bigger and more comfortable vehicles.

If I was eligible for a visa I’d seriously consider it. Maybe not under this exact government, but I’d probably still go to a blue state.

Yuja · 08/06/2026 15:49

Politics aside, I would love to live in the US. It is ambitious and the opportunities are incredible

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 08/06/2026 15:49

Goldenbear · 08/06/2026 15:38

Well that is your opinion but you're wrong.

Ah Yes. No superiority complex at all

Quine0nline · 08/06/2026 15:51

No class system, no aristocracy. No nobility.

Sartre · 08/06/2026 16:11

It has pros and cons like anywhere. The UK is far from perfect…

I’d like to move there one day when it’s politically more stable. I research American literature, history and culture for a living so it makes sense. Lots more green space and bigger homes for less, you earn a lot more too.

Sartre · 08/06/2026 16:14

Quine0nline · 08/06/2026 15:51

No class system, no aristocracy. No nobility.

This is great too, agreed.

FrenchT0ast · 08/06/2026 16:16

Tshirtking · 08/06/2026 14:23

Are you 12 and from the 80s, I thought that when was was 12 in the 80s, I live in reality now not American movies

This!! People are living in fantasy land. You need a job that pays $$$$$ to live there comfortably, it’s expensive to live there and the average family is not living an Instagram fantasy.

What is really tragic is next to nobody can move there. They don’t want you,the same way immigrants aren’t welcome here. It’s nigh on impossible to get visas to live there and it’s hugely unstable as an immigrant. For the teeny tiny few that can emmigrate there, it’s so much easier there to get rid of people. What happens when you lose your $$$$ job and the visa and health insurance with it?

And for everybody else who have as much chance of living there as winning the lottery I really pity you if you spend your life unable to enjoy the many amazing things we have in this country whilst fantasising about a life that doesn’t exist and you’ll never have.

EasternStandard · 08/06/2026 16:33

There’s good things about it. I don’t have a desire to move there but did live there at college for a year and it was good. NE coast town.

TheatreMom · 08/06/2026 16:54

I grew up in England but moved to the US as a young adult and have since become a US citizen, married, and raised my children here. I'm heartened to see so many posts praising aspects of American life instead of the usual anti-American rhetoric you usually see here.

Obviously the US isn't perfect and there are things that are better about life in the UK, but some statements are just ridiculous. You can't get good cheese here? What? First of all, some of the best cheese in the world is made in Vermont and Wisconsin, but even if you don't want American cheese, we are easily able to buy cheese from other countries. This is just one example of the ignorance shown by some posters.

My perspective on some of the issues that have been raised:

Groceries in supermarkets are much more expensive here than in the UK, whereas eating out tends to be cheaper, even with tips. I think that's one reason why we tend to eat out a lot more regularly than in the UK. We do have crappy fast food here, but last time I was in London every other store seemed to be a low quality takeaway establishment. We also have lots of great high quality restaurants here, serving both American food and food from all over the world.

My house is bigger than anything I could afford in the UK. There's just more space here. Of course housing costs vary enormously in different regions.

I am fortunate to have good quality health insurance. I do have to pay a nominal amount when I see a doctor and for some medications, but preventative care is free. Speaking of which, annual primary care, dermatological, and gynecologic check ups are accepted as standard, as well as annual mammograms and regular colonoscopies once you're a little older. I can arrange to see any specialist without first having to go through my primary care clinician, and usually very quickly. If my annual out of pocket costs get too high (I think it's $5,000) the rest is covered completely, so I know that however sick I am, my costs will be limited. When I gave birth to my children - which was a while ago; they are now young adults - I paid $10 for my first appointment with my obstetrician. The rest of my pregnancy care, delivery, and hospital stay was covered by that $10 co-pay.

I am white, so although I'm an immigrant I can't really speak to the level of racism in the country, except to say that it's still too high. But among my acquaintances I have never witnessed any overt racism. Everyone I know is accepting of people of all races. In a similar vein I am straight, but I have gay family members, and friends with gay children, and all have been accepted by everyone they know. I have no doubt that there are racist, homophobic Americans, but they are far from the majority. In my pretty nice suburban neighborhood, I live next door to a Black family and across the street from a gay couple and also a mixed race white/Indian-American couple. To my knowledge none of them have experienced any negative interactions from fellow neighbors.

School shootings are of course terrifying for all parents, but thankfully they are relatively rare. I knew when sending my children to school every day they were much more likely to be killed in a traffic accident on the way to school than in a school shooting. Personally I'd be happy if the 2nd amendment didn't exist, but it does, and it doesn't affect my everyday life. I have never seen a gun except when carried by a police officer, and I have lived here over 30 years.

My daughter received a great education in the public (state) school system, with opportunities that I wouldn't expect her to be able to access in the UK. For example, she had harp lessons during the school day, for the whole 7 years of middle and high school (secondary school equivalent). She could have gotten a free ride to one of the top universities in the state with a harp scholarship, but decided to go another direction.

At the moment the worst thing about the country is who is in charge, but that will change and I believe that the US will come out of this period better than ever.

Goldenbear · 08/06/2026 17:03

TheatreMom · 08/06/2026 16:54

I grew up in England but moved to the US as a young adult and have since become a US citizen, married, and raised my children here. I'm heartened to see so many posts praising aspects of American life instead of the usual anti-American rhetoric you usually see here.

Obviously the US isn't perfect and there are things that are better about life in the UK, but some statements are just ridiculous. You can't get good cheese here? What? First of all, some of the best cheese in the world is made in Vermont and Wisconsin, but even if you don't want American cheese, we are easily able to buy cheese from other countries. This is just one example of the ignorance shown by some posters.

My perspective on some of the issues that have been raised:

Groceries in supermarkets are much more expensive here than in the UK, whereas eating out tends to be cheaper, even with tips. I think that's one reason why we tend to eat out a lot more regularly than in the UK. We do have crappy fast food here, but last time I was in London every other store seemed to be a low quality takeaway establishment. We also have lots of great high quality restaurants here, serving both American food and food from all over the world.

My house is bigger than anything I could afford in the UK. There's just more space here. Of course housing costs vary enormously in different regions.

I am fortunate to have good quality health insurance. I do have to pay a nominal amount when I see a doctor and for some medications, but preventative care is free. Speaking of which, annual primary care, dermatological, and gynecologic check ups are accepted as standard, as well as annual mammograms and regular colonoscopies once you're a little older. I can arrange to see any specialist without first having to go through my primary care clinician, and usually very quickly. If my annual out of pocket costs get too high (I think it's $5,000) the rest is covered completely, so I know that however sick I am, my costs will be limited. When I gave birth to my children - which was a while ago; they are now young adults - I paid $10 for my first appointment with my obstetrician. The rest of my pregnancy care, delivery, and hospital stay was covered by that $10 co-pay.

I am white, so although I'm an immigrant I can't really speak to the level of racism in the country, except to say that it's still too high. But among my acquaintances I have never witnessed any overt racism. Everyone I know is accepting of people of all races. In a similar vein I am straight, but I have gay family members, and friends with gay children, and all have been accepted by everyone they know. I have no doubt that there are racist, homophobic Americans, but they are far from the majority. In my pretty nice suburban neighborhood, I live next door to a Black family and across the street from a gay couple and also a mixed race white/Indian-American couple. To my knowledge none of them have experienced any negative interactions from fellow neighbors.

School shootings are of course terrifying for all parents, but thankfully they are relatively rare. I knew when sending my children to school every day they were much more likely to be killed in a traffic accident on the way to school than in a school shooting. Personally I'd be happy if the 2nd amendment didn't exist, but it does, and it doesn't affect my everyday life. I have never seen a gun except when carried by a police officer, and I have lived here over 30 years.

My daughter received a great education in the public (state) school system, with opportunities that I wouldn't expect her to be able to access in the UK. For example, she had harp lessons during the school day, for the whole 7 years of middle and high school (secondary school equivalent). She could have gotten a free ride to one of the top universities in the state with a harp scholarship, but decided to go another direction.

At the moment the worst thing about the country is who is in charge, but that will change and I believe that the US will come out of this period better than ever.

Of course you have fast food, the U.S. Invented it! They literally have roads of fast food outlets.

Eating out all the time doesn't help the obesity problem though does it? The UK has sadly imported some of those habits and that's probably why we have seen an increase in our obesity rate. I have family in Scandinavia and it's no coincidence that the culture just doesn't exist on the scale that you see in the U.S. and it is reflected in their healthier waistlines.

CheerfulYank · 08/06/2026 17:08

Bitzee · 07/06/2026 17:22

$100,000 isn’t close to a top owner there. Salaries are generally much higher than in Europe. And taxes also so much lower. Homes are bigger. As an expat with a professional job you can have a really, really good standard of living and if you’ve come from the UK/Europe and your company is transferring you (the easiest route to get a visa other than marrying an American) it’s not uncommon to negotiate to keep your European vacation allowance and to have health insurance included for the whole family. Everyone speaks English so it’s easy to settle. And who cares about a safety net? Lose your job and you move back to the UK, to house you own but are renting out (also a nice money maker) and free at the point of use healthcare is waiting for you. It’s also a great opportunity to travel and see that part of the world cheaply and easily in a way that would probably take you years to do from Europe.

Ultimately I couldn’t send my kids to school there and we moved back but it was a fantastic lifestyle that you just can’t replicate here. I totally get why that appeals and people stay.

$100,000 is more than you’d think to most people here. Only 30-35% of households in the US make that much. The rest of us poors don’t 🤣

Kirbert2 · 08/06/2026 17:16

My son had cancer in 2024 and I'm on a predominately American facebook group as it is the cancer my son had and it is full of frantic parents not only worrying about their child's health but if insurance will cover all of their treatment etc.

I'm very glad that I don't live there.

CheerfulYank · 08/06/2026 17:21

Well, personally I live here because I was born here and am too broke to move anywhere else 😉

As far as the comments about not being able to afford health insurance, it does vary by state, but in mine (Minnesota) the best coverage we ever had was when DH was out of work and we were absolutely, properly poverty stricken. We went on state health insurance and it was LOVELY. My prescription medications were around $2, there was no co-pay for doctor visits etc. So it does depend. Everything kind of depends on where you live, actually. I live in a small town and DH and I have managed to raise three children well enough for on less than $90k combined income. We have decent health insurance through his job that includes vision and dental and pay about $850 a month mortgage on the detached house we’ve had for 18 years. It’s small by US standards (3 bedrooms, I think it’s around 1300 square feet) but it’s okay. We always wanted something bigger but at this point I think we’ll probably stay put. Anyway, what is affordable in the rural Midwest definitely wouldn’t be in Los Angeles or NYC.

Trump is the worst part. I hate him, and I hate the way he’s normalized casual cruelty and nastiness. It’s disgusting. Sometimes I think I’d move if we could, but where? We’ve never lived anywhere else.

FrenchT0ast · 08/06/2026 17:44

TheatreMom · 08/06/2026 16:54

I grew up in England but moved to the US as a young adult and have since become a US citizen, married, and raised my children here. I'm heartened to see so many posts praising aspects of American life instead of the usual anti-American rhetoric you usually see here.

Obviously the US isn't perfect and there are things that are better about life in the UK, but some statements are just ridiculous. You can't get good cheese here? What? First of all, some of the best cheese in the world is made in Vermont and Wisconsin, but even if you don't want American cheese, we are easily able to buy cheese from other countries. This is just one example of the ignorance shown by some posters.

My perspective on some of the issues that have been raised:

Groceries in supermarkets are much more expensive here than in the UK, whereas eating out tends to be cheaper, even with tips. I think that's one reason why we tend to eat out a lot more regularly than in the UK. We do have crappy fast food here, but last time I was in London every other store seemed to be a low quality takeaway establishment. We also have lots of great high quality restaurants here, serving both American food and food from all over the world.

My house is bigger than anything I could afford in the UK. There's just more space here. Of course housing costs vary enormously in different regions.

I am fortunate to have good quality health insurance. I do have to pay a nominal amount when I see a doctor and for some medications, but preventative care is free. Speaking of which, annual primary care, dermatological, and gynecologic check ups are accepted as standard, as well as annual mammograms and regular colonoscopies once you're a little older. I can arrange to see any specialist without first having to go through my primary care clinician, and usually very quickly. If my annual out of pocket costs get too high (I think it's $5,000) the rest is covered completely, so I know that however sick I am, my costs will be limited. When I gave birth to my children - which was a while ago; they are now young adults - I paid $10 for my first appointment with my obstetrician. The rest of my pregnancy care, delivery, and hospital stay was covered by that $10 co-pay.

I am white, so although I'm an immigrant I can't really speak to the level of racism in the country, except to say that it's still too high. But among my acquaintances I have never witnessed any overt racism. Everyone I know is accepting of people of all races. In a similar vein I am straight, but I have gay family members, and friends with gay children, and all have been accepted by everyone they know. I have no doubt that there are racist, homophobic Americans, but they are far from the majority. In my pretty nice suburban neighborhood, I live next door to a Black family and across the street from a gay couple and also a mixed race white/Indian-American couple. To my knowledge none of them have experienced any negative interactions from fellow neighbors.

School shootings are of course terrifying for all parents, but thankfully they are relatively rare. I knew when sending my children to school every day they were much more likely to be killed in a traffic accident on the way to school than in a school shooting. Personally I'd be happy if the 2nd amendment didn't exist, but it does, and it doesn't affect my everyday life. I have never seen a gun except when carried by a police officer, and I have lived here over 30 years.

My daughter received a great education in the public (state) school system, with opportunities that I wouldn't expect her to be able to access in the UK. For example, she had harp lessons during the school day, for the whole 7 years of middle and high school (secondary school equivalent). She could have gotten a free ride to one of the top universities in the state with a harp scholarship, but decided to go another direction.

At the moment the worst thing about the country is who is in charge, but that will change and I believe that the US will come out of this period better than ever.

“At the moment the worst thing about the country is who is in charge, but that will change and I believe that the US will come out of this period better than ever.“

Wow you really are deluded!

President Donald Trump's has made lasting damage:-the structural reshaping of U.S. governance, the erosion of international alliances, and irreversible environmental consequences. While future administrations can pass new legislation or sign agreements, the permanent nature of these actions stems from lost time, irrecoverable capital, and institutional decay.

  1. Environmental Devastation and Lost Time
Irreplaceable Ecosystems: Rolling back environmental protections, opening up public lands—like the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge—for resource extraction, and easing restrictions on toxic emissions has accelerated habitat loss and degradation that cannot simply be "un-done" once the damage is enacted. The Carbon Clock: Time is a finite resource in climate science. By continually withdrawing from global climate pacts and aggressively prioritizing fossil fuels, years of critical momentum were lost in the global race to mitigate carbon emissions, guaranteeing higher peak global temperatures.
  1. Fractured International Alliances and U.S. Credibility
Eroded Trust: Trump's unpredictable and transactional approach to foreign policy fundamentally fractured relationships with core allies. Nations in Europe, Asia, and North America (such as the U.K., Canada, and Denmark) have re-evaluated their dependence on the United States, creating new, independent security and trade frameworks that the U.S. cannot easily reverse. Loss of Global Leadership: The repeated withdrawal from multilateral institutions and the weakening of NATO have ceded global influence to rival powers. Even if the U.S. attempts to reclaim its leadership position, its word and foundational commitments will long be viewed with skepticism by the international community.
  1. Institutional Decay and the Judiciary
The Judiciary: Trump reshaped the federal judiciary, appointing hundreds of conservative, lifetime-tenured judges to lower courts and the Supreme Court. The resulting legal rulings will shape American law, civil rights, and regulatory power for decades. Politicization of Government: The aggressive remaking of federal agencies—replacing experienced career civil servants with political loyalists—and the consistent challenging of non-partisan democratic institutions (like the Justice Department and intelligence communities) have eroded public trust in the state's structural integrity.
  1. Economic and Trade Disruptions
Global Supply Chain Shifts: The implementation of aggressive, sweeping tariffs against historic allies and competitors alike forced massive, structural shifts in global manufacturing and supply chains. Reversing tariffs does not magically bring these supply chains or historical trading positions back; companies permanently restructure to adapt to the new normal.

Hard to see how the US will come back better than before from all that. It will be lucky to get back to as good as it was. The trust from the rest of the world has completely gone.

FrenchT0ast · 08/06/2026 17:48

Oh and re school shootings. The fact children have to have school shooting drills is abhorrent. Firearms are the leading cause of death for children and teens (ages 1 to 19) in the United States. Terrifying for children and parents.

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 08/06/2026 18:21

FrenchT0ast · 08/06/2026 17:48

Oh and re school shootings. The fact children have to have school shooting drills is abhorrent. Firearms are the leading cause of death for children and teens (ages 1 to 19) in the United States. Terrifying for children and parents.

Ours is suicide.
I don’t think there is a palatable “leading cause of teen death”, surely?

KatiePricesKnickers · 08/06/2026 18:26

I’d love to move to the US. Have many friends there who have a great standard of living with very run of the mill jobs.
The country is vast and contains most types of geography anyone would care to live in. The people are friendly and they have real pride in America.
Who gives a shit if the current president is an arsehole, he will be gone soon enough.

Rrnraf · 08/06/2026 18:37

Waitingfordoggo · 08/06/2026 15:42

I don’t really understand your answer. I definitely don’t know what a ‘growth’ mentality is. I do have a ‘can do’ attitude, very much so, and I work hard, but sadly I’ve never managed to earn much money.

Believing you can improve yourself.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/grownups/help-your-child-try-new-things

It's even explained here.

CheerfulYank · 08/06/2026 18:58

FrenchT0ast · 08/06/2026 17:48

Oh and re school shootings. The fact children have to have school shooting drills is abhorrent. Firearms are the leading cause of death for children and teens (ages 1 to 19) in the United States. Terrifying for children and parents.

Yes, and it’s horrible and terrifying, and I am an American who is very much pro gun control.

However, I do think some people take that number to mean school shootings etc are the main cause of children dying, and that is not the case. About half of pediatric firearm deaths are suicides, and many of the rest are due to gang/drug violence. Not that it makes a difference in the end; a dead child is a dead child and it’s unspeakably tragic no matter how you look at it, and no child needs access to a firearm full stop.

Bignosenobum · 08/06/2026 19:00

Mu son moved to Americs and married an American. He loves it. Where he lives is nice and he had a great job