American Influencers who terminated for T21.

[ScaredButUnavoidable]

Has everyone else seen all the hatred online for the social media influencers who have decided to terminate a pregnancy due to a diagnosis of T21?

I have no idea who the couple are but today my social media feed is full of really abhorrent articles, videos and posts aimed at them (and about termination in general) and I’m just horrified.

Unsurprisingly they are in America, but even so.

I’m assuming the couple have been streaming videos about the pregnancy since the start and this announcement seems to have sparked absolute outrage.

Ok, the Influencers must have realised that some people would be upset by their decision, but at the same time, those same people must understand that although couples choose to have terminations based on medical conditions it’s still usually a very difficult and upsetting decision for them to make.

Has anyone else seen it?
I’m deleting as much of it as I can from my timeline but it’s constant.
They are even getting death threats.

It’s like a witch-hunt, it’s disgusting 😢

Yes, in certain severely restricted circumstances.
I also support the decriminalisation of abortion.

I was in a similar situation nearly 30 years ago, but we didn’t have the tests then that we have now. Had a late blood test which showed a problem, knew at that point that I couldn’t have a child with problems. Asked for an amino and while waiting for the results felt my baby move. In that moment I knew I couldn’t terminate. Luckily the amino came back clear, but your decision can change in a heartbeat and it’s you that has to live with the decision.

If they had said they had a test done and found out their child has autism or adhd or another condition what would people think? Because they are also a spectrum where some people can lead “normal lives and some can’t.

Anyone could end up with a child that needs more support.

If you restrict circumstances then you’re not ‘as early as possible as late as necessary’ are you?

I still support her decision to terminate though.
If you can’t even have the ultimate decision to say what goes on in your own body, and that the ‘baby’ has more rights to your body than you do, then Christ almighty…

I think I might have terminated a pregnancy under those circumstances, as well.

And i’m guessing they would have terminated that pregnancy as well.

Abortion is not legal for any reason up to that time in the Uk. Has to be approved by 2 doctors and only under specific grounds (legally, but in reality yes a woman can get one very easily)

It feels like the narrative of women having the right to choose a termination for any reason, and having the over her own body was really advocated….. until it comes to DS. If you have a termination because of a DS diagnosis suddenly you’re a bad person and all the ‘rights’ you supposedly have go out the window 🙄

But will you be choosing to share your decision on social media?

The baby doesn’t have more rights, it has equal rights, and didn’t ask to be conceived. This isn’t the same as enslaving somebody, or forcing them to donate a kidney. The majority of pregnancies come from ttc or being careless with regards to contraception.

I know it’s frowned upon to expect anyone to exercise a bit of care for their own life and be accountable for it, but here we are.

Autism is hard. I wouldn't blame them.

The woman is definitely in control of both destinies, so the fetus has far fewer rights.

You obviously don’t approve of abortions, so, I will say to you: don’t have one, then.

Everyone has discussed "parenting/raising a disabled child" through the thread

But more than that, it's about parenting a disabled adult

It's not like their need for you is going to magically disappear when they reach 18 - they're going to need you every day for the rest of your life (or their life)

And it's parenting a child or adult with disabilities in America where the cost of even a small operation can bankrupt people. Having a child who might need recurrent heart or other surgeries throughout their life just might not be financially possible for many people.

Have you reported the death threats and the really offensive posts to Instagram?

How can you "exercise a bit of care" or "be accountable" to prevent conceiving a severely disabled child?

So you're just misogynistic and anti-choice then. Well, that's good to know; the reasonable people can just ignore your opinion from here on out.

That’s a bloody great point.

That’s a bloody great point.

I’m in a support group for adults whose siblings have medical problems. The term is glass child. We are the ignored children who are expected to look after our siblings when our parents die. Most our childhoods were ruined by multiple stays with relatives when the siblings were in hospital, they were constantly prioritised over us and we learned to squash our feelings and needs down. As adults we give up our careers, lose relationships or choose not to have children of our own. Often we have been attacked, one of my friends had her arm repeatedly broken by her brother.
We know we will never be free

Yes, I would. In the vanishingly unlikely circumstance that happened for any reason other than incompatibility with life, and the mother couldn't be convinced to opt for live birth and adoption instead, then abortion is probably preferable than a vulnerable child being given into the care of someone who is so deeply mentally disturbed.

Although I would of course rather see encouragement of the uptake of long-term contraceptives, early abortions, or adoption.

Sally Phillips was married to someone very wealthy, I’m sure she doesn’t encounter half the issues most parents do.

my mum worked in respite care in the 80s. Children would regularly come for weekends and weeks. I’m guessing this doesn’t exist in the same now. My friend has money to pay for someone to help with her disabled daughter and has never been able to find anyone to do it.

I recently read " Yesteryear", the new novel about a tradwife influencer. It's good reading on the stupidity of living your life on Insta.

Why am I misogynistic? And I have no problem calmly and politely making my case. Why do you?

I saw the statement and thought it was badly written. I'm not surprised it didn't impress people. Not deserving of death threats of course.

If I was them I would have just vaguely said we had to terminate for private medical reasons. The backlash in the USA is rather predictable.