To be annoyed that he didn’t respond or contact me after my message?

[theecvitent]

My new bf who is 50 , went away yesterday to a friend with other friends. We text a bit through the day and he did something really kind for me.
I am sick at the moment, a chest infection and ear infection. I’m quite poorly .
Im at home in bed since yesterday afternoon and despite me tell ing him this Ona voice note , he hasn’t bothered to contact me once since or acknowledge the voice note.
I suggested we have a call before I remembered he was going to be away with his buddies doing an activity . He said probably not which is fair enough .
im a bit disappointed here.
AIBU?

Gish bit needy
let the man have a break

when my partner is away fir a week we do one photo and one call a day snd thats only because we have small kids

if no kids id notice expect sny contact bar a few text maybe as they are working

That is not a universal opinion.

In my experiences in life there are people who are needy and demanding beyond what is reasonable in adult life and they rarely recognise this in themselves.

Everyone has needs but not everyone is needy, there is a difference.

The OPs behaviour here in this instance crossed over to being needy in my opinion. People in her life, not necessarily herself, are best placed to judge if she behaves needily in her relationships.

A family member is deeply demanding and needy way beyond the example from the OP and would never ever recognise herself as being so yet every relationship and friendship this comes up as an issue for her. She cannot sustain romantic relationships because this puts to much pressure on her partners but she cannot work on it because she doesn’t see it. I don’t think this is unusual if a person is needy in relationships.

Watch a series on Netflix, order in a nice takeaway, drink some fluids. Have a nice shower. He'll text soon enough.
If it continues to be an unequal balance in him giving you less attention than you need, then it may not be the right relationship for you.
Remember - things should not feel too hard in the right relationship or else it's not right! Have a cup a soup . Feel better soon

Sorry but this sounds overbearing to me. He’s been consistently nice but the moment one thing doesn’t meet your standards you’re on MN complaining? You sound like a teenager.

He is your boyfriend not your medic.

I think he could have texted you by now (and I’m the least needy person around). Do you use Whatsapp, has he been on it at all since this morning? I wouldn’t blow up a relationship that’s otherwise good, but I would be a bit disappointed if I hear nothing till he’s back (only because of being ill). If I wasn’t ill I’d have no expectation of hearing from till he’s back.

I married mine after four months lol.. he was just too gorgeous

I think you may have the wrong thread !!
He did leave a voice note ant midday and apologised for lack of contact . He’s been crazy busy but had great ,productive 24?hours.
Thanks guy all your responses and votes.

As others said voice notes are demanding, personally I hate them. You either text briefly or if it's longer, you call. I find them intrusive because they require to interrupt what you're doing and listen perhaps for 2 minutes, only to understand what it is about.

I think he's simply busy with house works and needs time now before he responds in private, he possibly thinks you need a rest.

I understand you're upset but if you think he is trustworthy and loyal you shouldn't allow yourself to feel let down.

Get the TV on, sleep, make yourself a tea, and bless these little breaks for yourself. Both of you will enjoy when you meet again. Unless you have reasons to think there's something going on, you should try to get rid of negative thoughts and appreciate both of you can have some "me" time.

I wouldn’t like it much if a new boyfriend was asking for phone calls while I was away with friends for a few days. A quick call of there’s something urgent would be fine, but just for chitchat…nope. I would find this quite suffocating. I might send a good night message or similar and then call to chat on the way back or once back home. Give him some space. Sure he could have messaged you along the lines of ”sorry you’re unwell, hope u feel better”. But in the end it doesn’t sound like you’re having anything out of the ordinary. Saying these things as someone who likes their personal space even when dating someone new.

It reads as though he did check in with her several times during the day.

Later in the day she sent another message, this one a voicemail, and he’d not responded by half past seven in the morning.

You said earlier that you’d sent him a voice message.

That’s good, @theecvitent - has it put your mind at rest at all?

Hope you feel better soon.

I think OP meant since then, which was yesterday ?midday from memory.

The word you're looking for is clingy. If you need someone who pays closer attention to you, dump him and start dating.

Woman up!

For me this comes down to personal communication styles . I have loads of friends that don’t speak to their husbands much when they go away. But it’s up to you what comms you like and it’s also down to him to say whether or not he is up for that too.

Tbh it takes 30 seconds to send a quick voice note to say hope you’re feeling better and chat when I’m back, it’s basic manners but I wouldn’t be too upset. He might not know it’s important to you to keep in touch so regularly.

If it’s out of character for him not to respond I can see why you’d be upset.

I guess you’re either feeling sensitive cos you’re ill, or you’re not secure in the relationship and are seeking reassurance. Only you can know!

If DP didn’t text back when he’s out or away I never worry or feel sad. But he’s the first man I’ve ever been like that with. Because I’m 100% sure of his affection.

Just send texts. Voice notes and voice mail are annoying.

Oh FFS 😅